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So basically she's going to disown me now

My mum's always been quite strict when it comes to going out, and only this summer has she really let go and allowed me to get home a whole lot later that usual i.e. 12.30am so I can go to clubs...albeit i always end up leaving early. As I, and a lot of my other friends are going to uni next week, we decided to do a little leaving thing. Basically we went to eat out, and then to a really nice club in London afterwards. I told my mum I was going to take a taxi home, so I assumed she'd be ok at me coming home at whatever time....but when I got home at 4 o'clock she totally went crazy. She gave me the longest lecture about how unsafe it is and how only certain types of girls stay out that late...and she hit me. She then went on to say that on Saturday, when I leave for uni that's it. She's gonna assume she has only one daughter to look after (my sister) and I can forget about asking for help money wise or anything else. I'm really scared, because when I went out with my friends, I realised how much we're drifting apart....and I feel I've got no1 to turn to now. I don't know how to make it up to her. I think this is the final straw....I basically cried myself to sleep wishing that I wouldn't wake up again.

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Reply 1

Mr.God

Your mother sounds like a lunatic, and you're better off away from her, especially if she's hit you.

The less contact with her you have, the better.

Reply 2

Scuttle

Mr.God

Your mother sounds like a lunatic, and you're better off away from her, especially if she's hit you.

The less contact with her you have, the better.

Correct-a-mundo.
Sod her, leave her, have a better life, and dont do this to your kids.

Reply 3

OC_girl

I feel so bad for you, this sounds like a horrible situation. If you ever want to PM me to talk about it more then i'm here for you.

anyway.. some advice-

Your mother may change her mind about this once she's had chance to calm down a little. It's not all that useful to say that you're better off without her because i don't think it's as easy to let go as that.

When she said that from now on she only has one daughter to look after, that's something different from saying she only has one daughter. Perhaps she just means that she'll start to back off a little but continue to love you.

Also, when you get to uni i am sure you'll make some friends to feel close to given that you've drifted apart from the friends that you went out with the other night. I understand that fully as that's happened to me also.

xxx

Reply 4

Anonymous #2

I had similar thing with my mum getting a bit too overbearing on issues, especially late nights, the important thing is to make her trust you. Ie, get your friends to come over for a sleepover kind of thing and that way she gets to know who your going out with! tell her where you are going and, as unreasonable as it sounds, try phoning her every two hours or so (although only up until 12 ish or she might get more mad) to tell her your ok. It's probably a bit late now considering you are off next week, but it's never too late to make her feel more wlecome in your life, maybe that way she'd loosen up on things. while your at uni it would help to send her emails or letters saying how you've got on, or set up a myspace so she can see the pics (obv only put nice ones up!) and read how you're getting on at uni. This is how I made my life easier anyway it may or may not work for you!

as for her disowning you, it's called the heat of the moment, I've been "disowned" about 50 times before I started improving links with my mum, and I'm fairly sure she would've hit me a couple of times had I not been bigger than her!! and yes i know hitting kids isn't supposed to happen but it's not like it was entirely unwarranted bcos you did turn up at four in the morning!!

Reply 5

Scuttle

My parents dont know who I go out with. I come home at 4 all the time, or even not at all. I never call when I'm out.

Why? Is it because my parents are insane and really unsafe and dont "love and respect" me?

No.

Reply 6

Anonymous #2

yes, but not all parents are the same, thats quite obvious, and no matter how much you tell them that your best mate gets more freedom they rarely change. There are ways of getting round overbearing parents who dont want to give you freedom, and it's not simply by quoting who gets more freedom than you with parents who love them the same amount! I was just trying to suggest ways to make the OP's parents trust them more!

Reply 7

zav

My parents don't really mind i stay out for a few days sometimes. Are you the oldest? They may just need some time to adjust to you growing up. My parents have said loads of nasty things like that but its normally cause they can't control what i am doing. Just ignore it get on with things and they will prob come round.
Try and be mature about it as sometimes parents will respect you more if you deal with it in a adult way but you don't really have any reason to be sorry so chin up :smile:

Reply 8

hixey101

whoah psycho! call the men in white coats! sorry just saying with i think!

Reply 9

OC_girl

hixey101

whoah psycho! call the men in white coats! sorry just saying with i think!

... and is that supposed to help the OP? :confused:

Reply 10

Bluebeing

My parents have threatened to do that sort of thing before, but have never actually done so. When she's calmed down she'll probably change her mind. If she's anything like mine she was only saying it to make you worry, so that next time you will come home on time. Try explaining to her that you didn't do anything dangerous, that you didn't realise that she was going to be upset, and that you're sorry.

Reply 11

hixey101

well maybe she will realise that shes a phycho and run for her life. jesus if my mum did that i would just leave straight away.

Reply 12

Mr.God

hixey101

well maybe she will realise that shes a phycho and run for her life. jesus if my mum did that i would just leave straight away.

If my mum smacked me, I'd simply overpower her and put her in a painful submission hold that would be extremely painful, but leave no signs that an assault had taken place.

Reply 13

Emerald

trust me, she'll probably calm down. My mum overreacts like that all the time and says things like that then gives me the silent treatment for a day or so and then just starts talking to me again.
hixey101- its different for you as you're a guy and guys generally have it easier with parents especially with mums.

Reply 14

Clarence

My dad has said this sort of thing a thousand times over. It got quite boring after the 3rd time. I wouldn't worry about it, Parents often say things they don't mean when they are angry. She will realise how stupid she has been when you're gone. Trust me.

Reply 15

Mr.God

Yeah, there's a difference between spouting the sort of crap that a lot of parents do and hitting someone, though.

Reply 16

zav

Yeh next time she goes for you defend yourself.

Reply 17

Scuttle

Mr.God

Yeah, there's a difference between spouting the sort of crap that a lot of parents do and hitting someone, though.

It's the age you are now too.
Firstly any parent that is trying to hold their child back from anything but drugs and crime at this age is doing too much.

Reply 18

Clarence

I've learnt to hit back at my parents. If they want me to act like an adult then I will behave like one. When my dad hits me, i hit him back twice as hard.

Reply 19

Emerald

^^^ true, but to the OP what kind of hit was it? One done to actually hurt you or done like just out of anger and unintentional? Cos like when me and my sister have an arguement and it gets quite heavy, I'll end up just slapping her or something without menaing to?