Why is arrogance considered unattractive?

Society has conditioned us to believe that different people are of higher and lower value, and the belief that you are of low value, leading to presenting yourself as such, reciprocates this belief within other individuals. Yet the belief that you are of high value is often not reciprocated, even with evidence (fitness markers) for it.

For example I recently saw the example of a thread with a slightly narcissistic 'alpha' where a girl texted him saying "you're gorgeous" and he responded "I know". He has already proven himself to be of high value and both genetic fitness (through "gorgeous" indicating aesthetics) and social status (through the girl's evident approval of him). Yet the thread did not receive many replies overall suggesting that the content was deemed relatively low value in reality, confirming the notions of his leanings towards narcissism and arrogance, and how this is a disadvantage in social attraction.

Why is this? I can understand it as "because they can be selfish" etc. but I cannot rationalise how one's sense of value is on a bell curve of reciprocated approval and admiration. :s-smilie:

[On a side-note do I come across as on the autistic spectrum somewhere? I have suspected this for a while and I am seeking diagnosis for ASD tomorrow. ]

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 1

blackened_sky

Because there's a difference between confidence and arrogance. Nobody likes someone who thinks they're better than everyone else. However regarding yourself in high self esteem isn't necessarily a bad thing.

Reply 2

Riku

Original post by blackened_sky

Yet it operates on a bell curve, i.e. there is no infinite positive correlation between self-esteem and attraction. It must be said, not even where there are markers of fitness to justify it.