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When would you expect to sleep with your date?

I was just wondering how long would a someone in their early to mid twenties generally wait for sex, or to put it another way, after how much dating would you generally expect to have slept with the person you're seeing?

Lets leave all sorts of "no sex before marriage" and other completely non applicable views to the side for a minute, only realistic answers.

I'm a guy in my mid 20s and though I find getting dates relatively easy (including a 2nd date and so forth), then escalating things physically is something I am completely lost at.

As such I was wondering what the expectations are like for the other side (as well as other guys) as to when you move on from just a date to hooking up?

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Depends how long I had known the guy for and when it felt right. If I had known him for a while as friends, then probably wouldn't want to wait very long, but if he was new to me, then a while.
Depends what I wanted from the guy. If nothing serious, I've got nothing against sleeping together on the first date if it feels right. If something more serious, I'd spend more time getting to know/sussing out the guy first.

Irrelevant now though, as I'm happily engaged :smile:
Hm, probably about three to five dates if everything was going well and I liked him. If things weren't going so well and I wasn't interested, for the sake of not wasting everyone's time, I just wouldn't arrange to see him again after the first date (and obviously wouldn't sleep with him).
By the third date or never.
Reply 5
I think there is a grain of truth in the three date rule. Or sooner.
If I'm not interested in anything long term then first date if it happens. If I like them probably 3 or 4 dates or until I can be reasonably sure they want something more serious.
Reply 7
I personally wouldn't expect to have sex with them until we were in an official relationship and not just seeing each other.

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3rd - 4th date.
Knickers off her bum on the first date I think :smile:
Not till an official relationship for definite. I have to say, I'm a little surprised at how everyone jumps into bed after a couple of evenings together - each to their own, not something I'd do.
I'm pretty surprised at some of the answers here.

I would probably wait until at the very least one month.

I've been on many dates with many men and if I slept with every man I had a connection with on the 2-4th date then I would have bedded around 8-12 men in my 18 years.
Reply 12
Original post by Spock's Socks
I personally wouldn't expect to have sex with them until we were in an official relationship and not just seeing each other.

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There's a difference?

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Original post by james1211
There's a difference?

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Yeah to me seeing each other is like casual dating, you can still see other people on the side and then an official relationship would obviously be when you are just with them and you both agree to just be with each other.

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Original post by Spock's Socks
Yeah to me seeing each other is like casual dating, you can still see other people on the side and then an official relationship would obviously be when you are just with them and you both agree to just be with each other.

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This is odd. For me if I'm seeing someone for multiple dates I take it as implied that I don't see anyone else at the same time. It just seems common sense to me, never thought of it in any other way.

Original post by joker12345
Not till an official relationship for definite. I have to say, I'm a little surprised at how everyone jumps into bed after a couple of evenings together - each to their own, not something I'd do.


So how do I find these girls who are open to jumping under the covers after a few evenings together?

Original post by lightbulbflash
3rd - 4th date.

Original post by Da Di Doo
I would probably wait until at the very least one month.

Original post by LavenderBlueSky88
If I'm not interested in anything long term then first date if it happens. If I like them probably 3 or 4 dates or until I can be reasonably sure they want something more serious.

Original post by AlphaTango
2-4 dates is about right if you've just met them and asked them out. They just want to be sure you aren't going to hump and dump!

Original post by Zarek
I think there is a grain of truth in the three date rule. Or sooner.


Seems like a lot of people like the 3-4 date or month rule (would work out to roughly a month if you meet up just once a week).

I obviously don't date girls just for sex but at some point I would like it to happen and the sooner the better. If I'm dating her for a long time but she's still not comfortable with getting into bed with me then I'd have some doubts if she's into me at all. Hence my question here.
When you're both ready. Don't think there's a specific amount of time.
don't know really, i'd just go with the flow and do it when whenever we wanted to
Reply 17
Original post by Spock's Socks
Yeah to me seeing each other is like casual dating, you can still see other people on the side and then an official relationship would obviously be when you are just with them and you both agree to just be with each other.

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So exclusivity for you?

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Original post by Spock's Socks
Yeah to me seeing each other is like casual dating, you can still see other people on the side and then an official relationship would obviously be when you are just with them and you both agree to just be with each other.

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That's a very American way of doing it.
Original post by Dr Pesto
That's a very American way of doing it.
Is it? Can't say I've ever thought that but ah well, it works for me :smile:

Original post by james1211
So exclusivity for you?

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Yeah I would only be expecting to have sex once we were both exclusively just going to be with each other in a serious relationship.

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(edited 9 years ago)

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