Not loving my uni flatmates
I've been at uni for almost 5 weeks now, i share with 2 girls and 3 boys. In freshers week we all went out together as a flat and i started to get to get to know 2 housemates (boy and girl) better than the others.
Since freshers week i had gotten really close with one of my guy housemates but now it's slightly awkward and we don't speak as much as we used to due to drunken antics-which is sad as feel like we had a connection.
Currently i hardly go out with my flatmates on nights out and instead i've been going out with my friends on my course who are very similar to me! I have made an effort with all of them and i always say hey and ask how there day is and suggest we do things, with the girls we go on runs together, play the wii, were going to do some face masks, but i feel like my housemates are all very different to me i like them all but i don't have a bond with them at all and i am much closer with my friends outside my flat.
Is anyone else not best friends with their housemates? feel like I'm the only one in this situation.
Also any tips for helping create a bond? I love uni so far just wish i could have a stronger bond with my flat
Since freshers week i had gotten really close with one of my guy housemates but now it's slightly awkward and we don't speak as much as we used to due to drunken antics-which is sad as feel like we had a connection.
Currently i hardly go out with my flatmates on nights out and instead i've been going out with my friends on my course who are very similar to me! I have made an effort with all of them and i always say hey and ask how there day is and suggest we do things, with the girls we go on runs together, play the wii, were going to do some face masks, but i feel like my housemates are all very different to me i like them all but i don't have a bond with them at all and i am much closer with my friends outside my flat.
Is anyone else not best friends with their housemates? feel like I'm the only one in this situation.
Also any tips for helping create a bond? I love uni so far just wish i could have a stronger bond with my flat
Lol nah mate, take it from me it's better to actually choose your friends! It's actually pretty forced to be best friends with the people you live with just for that reason. I barely saw my first year flatmate sat all after first year finished, my friendship group ended up being people from different flats from my building I met throughout first year. Sounds to me like you are doing the the right thing!
Original post by Sophiet24
I've been at uni for almost 5 weeks now, i share with 2 girls and 3 boys. In freshers week we all went out together as a flat and i started to get to get to know 2 housemates (boy and girl) better than the others.
Since freshers week i had gotten really close with one of my guy housemates but now it's slightly awkward and we don't speak as much as we used to due to drunken antics-which is sad as feel like we had a connection.
Currently i hardly go out with my flatmates on nights out and instead i've been going out with my friends on my course who are very similar to me! I have made an effort with all of them and i always say hey and ask how there day is and suggest we do things, with the girls we go on runs together, play the wii, were going to do some face masks, but i feel like my housemates are all very different to me i like them all but i don't have a bond with them at all and i am much closer with my friends outside my flat.
Is anyone else not best friends with their housemates? feel like I'm the only one in this situation.
Also any tips for helping create a bond? I love uni so far just wish i could have a stronger bond with my flat
Since freshers week i had gotten really close with one of my guy housemates but now it's slightly awkward and we don't speak as much as we used to due to drunken antics-which is sad as feel like we had a connection.
Currently i hardly go out with my flatmates on nights out and instead i've been going out with my friends on my course who are very similar to me! I have made an effort with all of them and i always say hey and ask how there day is and suggest we do things, with the girls we go on runs together, play the wii, were going to do some face masks, but i feel like my housemates are all very different to me i like them all but i don't have a bond with them at all and i am much closer with my friends outside my flat.
Is anyone else not best friends with their housemates? feel like I'm the only one in this situation.
Also any tips for helping create a bond? I love uni so far just wish i could have a stronger bond with my flat
It doesn't matter - in a few weeks time you are going to be thinking about where you will live next year and who with - so just leave your current flatmates. It sounds as if you actually get on with them - you are just not bosom buddies - and that makes you quite lucky when you read some of the tales of woe on TSR
I didn't get on with my flatmates in first year either. We were just a weird bunch of people to have in a flat together really, we didn't gel at all. I had a similar situation with one who fancied me (although nothing happened between us, it was really awkward after he asked me how I felt about him and then I met my boyfriend a week later). I didn't even talk to my flatmates if I saw them around campus after first year. My best friends at uni are a girl on my course (everyone else has graduated), and the people I'm living with now who I chose to live with and have met since the beginning of second year. Remember you're just thrown together with your flatmates and you haven't chosen to live with them - by the laws of probability, there are always going to be flats like yours. I wouldn't worry about it, concentrate on the friends you have on your course because it seems like you have a nice group there, and you'll be able to choose the people you live with after first year.
There are loads of people in the same situation, don't worry I felt like that last year because none of us were really friends but at least you get on with your flatmates and there aren't any major issues because trust me, it could be a lot worse! The awkwardness with the guy is probably horrible but believe me, this year will be over before you know it! Just focus on your studies and making other friends at Uni and next year you can live with people you are actually friends with
To be honest it sounds like you guys have fun together and get along but if you still don't feel like you're close enough then you can't really force it. You have your Uni friends who will most likely be your "friends for life" and that's all you need because you're only living with these people for a year (you're lucky you don't hate each other lol)
I felt like that last year because none of us were really friends but at least you get on with your flatmates and there aren't any major issues because trust me, it could be a lot worse! The awkwardness with the guy is probably horrible but believe me, this year will be over before you know it! Just focus on your studies and making other friends at Uni and next year you can live with people you are actually friends withTo be honest it sounds like you guys have fun together and get along but if you still don't feel like you're close enough then you can't really force it. You have your Uni friends who will most likely be your "friends for life" and that's all you need because you're only living with these people for a year (you're lucky you don't hate each other lol)
(edited 9 years ago)
Sounds like you're fine, you've gone out and found people you have a better connection with and you're having fun! Better to have neutral flatmates than 5 ballsacks
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