RANT Is this harsh? What should I do?

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Report Thread starter 7 years ago
My aunt is 43 and never been in a relationship .She lives in the same house as her brother(45) and his wife (43)and 3 kids(my cousins).Also in this house is my grandmother (75) .My mum (43)and my little brother spend most of their time in this house also as my house is completely empty because me and my big brother move to University.

Apparently my Uncle and my aunt had a huge argument which led them not to speak or communicate with each other (basically the silent treatment).But they live in the same house and she constantly says nasty and unimaginable things to my cousins about their mum and dad.She then uses them as a tool to b*tch about my dad and me.She uses my dad as an insult towards me as he left my family.Thats the reason my little brother and my mum mostly stay in this house full of people.

When my mum was single and going out with her friends my aunt used to say shes gone galavanting and called her some horrible names ,she also said my mum just dumped us and left us for her friends.My aunt spends most of her time on her own in her room which she shares with one of my cousins.

Shes often despises young people who are enjoying themselves in different ways for example.
I just moved into University and 3 weeks later when I was planning to go out with some friends,she sneakily came to my accommodation with one of my cousins without warning or a notice her excuse was she was shopping in the city centre .Instead of going out my friends they decided to have a party in someone elses flat.When my aunt came she spent 4 hours in my flat and was completely inspecting the place for drugs or anything else.Whilst I escorted her out of the premises she saw the party that my friends were having in the flat opposite and decided to turn around and give me a further 2 hour lecture in my room about not going to any parties or on nights out.Finally when she decided to leave it was 3 AM.In which my mates said it didnt matter and we'll do something some other time.
When she left she said "University isn't what it all seems is it?"
WTF is that supposed to mean .

She's nasty to my little brother she capples him "pig " which aunt calls a person that.She often does this to make the other kids in the house laugh,but I don't and sometimes I tell her to grow up.She answers back "YOU GROW UP!!! IDIOT!!!" One of my cousins who she speaks to is slightly darker than the rest of us and she calls him "Monkey" again this is just a nasty way for her to laugh.
She pretends to be really social with other people and when they see past her acting she then becomes nasty towards them constantly backbiting them and holding a grudge against them.

She forces us to go shopping with her to buy clothes for us,she took me (19) my cousin (17) and my other cousin(11).Im 19 and dont need her to buy clothes for me .When I tell her that she flips and says shes been doing that since I was a young age,another excuse she would use is that I don't know a sense of style and thats why she needs to come along because she is Gok ****ing Wan.

It was Eid(religious festival ) a few weeks ago and she noticed I was wearing something I chose and I liked and constantly throughout the entire day she was putting me down saying that it didn't look right and saying negative comments about it.

I dont know what it is about all the adults in this house but they like playing mind games with each other,and thinking that they know how to figure each other out.I am often targeted because I'm the only one who speaks out against them whenever they do something on purpose to annoy one another.Then the children get caught up in this battle of egos.Its not healthy particularly for the younger kids aged (12,13).

The root problem according to my uncle is "my aunt as she enjoys stirring up stuff and then hiding behind the kids for cover."

According to my aunt the root problem is my "Uncles family as they are a full family and can move out of the house however he is too scared and has wasted a lot of money on a degree that got him nowhere."

My mum suggest that my uncle is the reason why my aunt is like this as he wasn't a good role model for her and she ended up like this."

I have know noticed my mum has started to act like my aunt often acting inappropriately being childish such as name calling,and often being jealous of young people who seem to be happy and holding a grudge against a few people. Again this isn't healthy for the younger kids.

When I was younger with my older brother they often were very strict about who we were friends with and its this strict and limited behaviour which has often got me into trouble and had countless arguments with them.It seem that even though me and my brother are at University miles away from this house that these rules are still very much still there.

So Its OK that my aunt and my mum act in a childish behaviour to try and make each other laugh.In a way bully the kids into doing what they want them to do .BUT when the kids want to make there own lives ,be more independent and do things for themselves they are not allowed to, they are restricted and have to watch and listen to your childish rules and behaviour.

I have to ring home everyday ,because they are worried.No they are ****ing not.Even when they pick up the phone they still act childish.Im going to be adult about this and say Im going to ring you every few days not every day.Because this **** comes back to haunt me.
I dont want to be worrying about that crap.My mums excuse is that you have to remember your roots.WTF does that mean I'm literally 40mins down the road.You can sneakily come visit me again if you want.

My mums makes me feel like I'm restricted even though I am making my own life away from home.
Im 19 and had to sneakily apply for a provisional licence even though I haven't booked any lessons
.Last month she said we'll start learning how to drive next summer.NO she promised me when I was 17 and now I'm grown old of that **** and learn at my own accord and apply at my own accord.

Even If my mum or my aunt acts like a child I'll still be grown up about it ,it feels as if I have put them up on a pedestal and only trying to please them.
When Uni started they wanted me to come back evry 3 weeks on the weekend to take food and then return.Whats the point of having this flat then???I've only returned twice and if they ask when are you returning I will say christmas holidays.

I have got my head cleared up and joined a cheap gym near where I live.I also applied for part time jobs at the weekend to earn a bit of cash also If they plan on sneakily visiting me I would say Im working.

Trust me the atmosphere in that house is so negative.
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Report 7 years ago
Sounds like you are taking steps towards being independent, which is good - the more time you have to yourself the better by the sounds of it. Beyond that, I think just try to stay out of things the best you can.
Anonymous #1
Report 7 years ago
I have an aunt who is unmarried, messed about, and lives with my nan, and always ****s off my her brothers and sisters (my aunts and uncles, and my mum) I listen to what she says but I just ignore her. She is definitely the person I least like in my mums side of the family, and she often buys me things to keep me on her side but tbh I keep my distance. She irks everyone in my family, and often takes my 12 year old cousin out and tells him that only she loves him and his parents don't care about him. He knows this is false, his parents don't care cause he knows she just tries to get him to like her and he likes going out with her cause she buys him things. Christmas just gone she wasn't there and it was the best Christmas I've had in a while (we're not religious, we're indians who just all go over and be together on Christmas day) so I know what you're going through.

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