The Student Room Group

23 and never had a boyfriend.

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Original post by rockrunride
Not saying I agree with the tone of this, but it's definitely true that if you're not satisfied with being single, you need to do something about it. And keep going. Some people will be rejected more than others, that's a fact. But largely, you get what you give with courtship.

Consider more than one person at a time and put people you're attracted to at arm's length rather than on a pedestal. That way you don't get hung up if it's a no. Move on to the next person. And the next person. I learned this lesson the hard way at uni.


The most sensible thing written on this thread. It usually won't "just happen one day". A bit of effort is required!
I'm 19.
Never been kissed.
Flirted with.
Held hands with.
Hugged
Or sex with a guy.

I'm a girl.
Original post by hellodave5
That's strange. Why don't you want one? Health problems?


If it makes any difference, I'm Autistic.
Original post by OU Student
If it makes any difference, I'm Autistic.


Ah. Does online dating not take your fancy? It does make things much easier.
Original post by hellodave5
Ah. Does online dating not take your fancy? It does make things much easier.


Given the amount of weirdos online, no. :tongue: In all seriousness - the whole idea of dating and online dating scares me somewhat.
Original post by OU Student
Given the amount of weirdos online, no. :tongue: In all seriousness - the whole idea of dating and online dating scares me somewhat.


Haha I know right :P

Aw, but you need to put yourself out there! I assume the fear is like that of going on a roller coaster lol. It gets easier.
Original post by Anonymous
I'm 19.
Never been kissed.
Flirted with.
Held hands with.
Hugged
Or sex with a guy.

I'm a girl.


I'm 19.
Never been kissed.
Flirted with.
Held hands with.
Hugged
Or sex with a girl.

I'm a guy.
Original post by Anonymous
I'm 19.
Never been kissed.
Flirted with.
Held hands with.
Hugged
Or sex with a girl.

I'm a guy.


To bad you both posted posted anonymously.
Original post by Anonymous
I'm 19.
Never been kissed.
Flirted with.
Held hands with.
Hugged
Or sex with a guy.

I'm a girl.


Original post by Anonymous
I'm 19.
Never been kissed.
Flirted with.
Held hands with.
Hugged
Or sex with a girl.

I'm a guy.


Never hugged? Not even just casually when you finished school/college?
(edited 9 years ago)
Original post by Anonymous
Never been asked out
never been flirted with
never been kissed
never been hugged
guys do not like me.

Help me. :frown:


You don't need help.

Pull yourself together, jeez.

You don't have to have a boyfriend. :tongue:
Original post by Anonymous
Never been asked out
never been flirted with
never been kissed
never been hugged
guys do not like me.

Help me. :frown:


Everybody who tell you it's gonna happen is just comforting you. It's not likely to happen by itself, unless you do something about it.
Original post by SHallowvale
You don't need help.

Pull yourself together, jeez.

You don't have to have a boyfriend. :tongue:


My mum once told me I "have sense" because i don't have a boyfriend. :tongue:
This thread has made me feel a little better, as I have at least hugged, held hands and kissed a girl on the lips (that counts right :tongue: ?)
Reply 93
To all those saying you are guaranteed a boyfriend/girlfriend if you go out...

I used to socialise A LOT and participate in all sorts from the ages of 18-22 and never got a boyfriend so there's no guarantee there either. Of course I'm not saying it will never happen... What I mean is there yes there are certain things which increase the odds but sometimes you just don't meet the right person, or you simply don't meet people who likes you as more that a friend.

That being said I'm not your conventionally attractive women so I think that may have played a part. I don't think men look at me and envision me as a girlfriend. And even after getting to know me I become like the little sister or something along those lines :tongue:
Original post by Four Queue
Never hugged? Not even just casually when you finished school/college?

Once or twice, but not out of choice (the times I remember, the person just came up to me and hugged me to say bye)

Original post by jazjaz
To all those saying you are guaranteed a boyfriend/girlfriend if you go out...

I used to socialise A LOT and participate in all sorts from the ages of 18-22 and never got a boyfriend so there's no guarantee there either. Of course I'm not saying it will never happen... What I mean is there yes there are certain things which increase the odds but sometimes you just don't meet the right person, or you simply don't meet people who likes you as more that a friend.

That being said I'm not your conventionally attractive women so I think that may have played a part. I don't think men look at me and envision me as a girlfriend. And even after getting to know me I become like the little sister or something along those lines :tongue:


Ofc you're not guaranteed, but by meeting people, you improve your social skills which is a step in the right direction.

Can I ask what you participated in at age 18-22? I am 19 and can't find anything I want to participate in... just sit at home all the time
Reply 95
Original post by Anonymous



Ofc you're not guaranteed, but by meeting people, you improve your social skills which is a step in the right direction.

Can I ask what you participated in at age 18-22? I am 19 and can't find anything I want to participate in... just sit at home all the time


Ok so let me list a few things that I did

- Joined my local universities knitting and graphic novel societies. The university accepted non-members of the university to join.
- I went to basic music lessons and crafting lessons
- Participated in duke of Edinburgh award (sadly I didn't finish it!)
- Went to 'cafe scientique' meetings. Google it if you are a science geek.
- Volunteered a youth centre and got trained to work in a drop-in centre
- I went clubbing A LOT sometimes 5 times a week (I wouldn't recommend this!). Not to do with the social/drinking aspect purely because I love music and dancing and I was addicted to dancing around!
- Signed up to a catering agency and got trained as a bartender got the chance to work at many bars and restaurants around the city and quite flexibly too1.
- Always tried to choose independent shops over others so that I could have a chat with the business owners about how business was etc and have lots of friendly conversations with staff. I.e. local health food shop, independent comic book shop etc. Too me it would be much harder to strike up a conversation with someone in boots or primark for instance!

Okay you get the message I can go on and on. There's so much more you can do now as the Internet has expanded I ***highly*** recommend that you try meetup.com they have so many groups. What do you when you are at home? Movies, TV, games? I know most big places have a film/cinema group on meetup.com I highly recommend you go along. They also have singles groups too where a bunch of singles get together rather than conventional online dating where just two people meet. There's also self-help groups for shy people. I'm routing for you!!!

Unfortunately after suffering from an eating disorder I have returned to a very introverted state but I am working hard to go throw myself out there. I feel like a prisoner in my body but I refuse to let it win! I recently went to a buddhist philosophy meeting and I plan to go to much much more after the next few weeks when I have my assessments out of the way.

It's hard when you are at home sat in your comfort zone a lot but you just have to do it! Step by step do one thing every day that scares you and I promise this time next year you will be a completely new person. Working on you and your development is the priority, dating is a bonus from that.

Good luck!
Reply 96
Original post by Anonymous
Never been asked out
never been flirted with
never been kissed
never been hugged
guys do not like me.

Help me. :frown:


By the sounds of it, you are scared or are isolated in some way and don't feel as if they can go ot and snap, get chatted up etc. Don't worry. I myself am single, as for dating sites, no as you will find the right person eventually.

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