My boyfriend is going away for two months and I'm worried about how I will cope. Watch

Anonymous #1
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Hello TSR,

As the title refers to, my boyfriend is going on his medical elective in South America for two months soon. I am really happy for him to be going and want him to go because, being bitten with the wanderlust bug myself, I know this will be an amazing experience for him and I don't think there will be much of a chance for him to ever go travelling alone again in the future. However as the time for him to go gets nearer i do notice myself getting a bit more upset at the thought of missing him. Please don't misunderstand, i am far from being a needy girlfriend, and it's not fidelity i am worried about. it's the evenings getting back to a silent flat, having dinner on my own and having to get into a big empty bed that worries me. We live together in our flat just the two of us, and we have literally spent every single day together it will be so unusual not to have him around to chat or laugh with anymore. I think especially being in the flat on my own will make the two months seem like such a long time and maybe will make me feel a bit vulnerable.

So i don't really know what I'm looking for by posting here....I think just someone to tell me it's not the end of the world! Especially if someone has gone through something similar, that would be helpful. :-)
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Reue
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(Original post by Anonymous)
i am far from being a needy girlfriend
Not convinced.

Message and video chat with eachother.

2 months isnt really that long.
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fredscarecrow
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My partner has been gone for 2 months so I know where youre coming from, except mine is working rather than travelling.

It is hard when you live with them and are used to having them around. I hate going to bed by myself and the house being dark and quiet after I come home from work. But, time has passed and ive got somewhat used to it.
I get to watch rubbish telly, and not fight over the duvet. We try and talk regularly, so work something out in advance. That way youre not afraid to go out or be busy incase he happens to skype! Keep busy - im meeting up with friends, ive gone home for a few days to be pampered by my parents...etc. having stuff to look forward to helps time go faster.

Because I live away from friends and family, we made sure I had a list of emergency contact numbers, rac, whatever. So if the car broke, or there was a problem with the house id be able to sort it (im guilty of my partner doing a lot around the house, and he loves cars).

Just prepare the practical side of things, and make sure to keep yourself busy. Time will pass, and make sure ypur bf keeps you periodically updated so youre not worrying about him.

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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Reue)
Not convinced.

Message and video chat with eachother.

2 months isnt really that long.
Ok, so I was expecting someone to come up with this. I suppose it's easy to make quick judgements about faceless people you don't know over the internet. I understand. If I was completely needy I wouldn't be so supportive of him going in the first place. I am and always have been, and as quoted by others, "fiercely independent". But I do like socialising too incl when I'm at home. I've lived with big groups of friends and I'm just not used to living somewhere completely on my own.

Also, I don't want him to waste his time skyping me all the time and I've said that to him. He's there for a reason and he should not waste it sitting in some Internet cafe. If it were me I would not want to feel obligated like that either whilst travelling.
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Anonymous #2
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(Original post by Reue)
Not convinced.

Message and video chat with eachother.

2 months isnt really that long.
Bit harsh...
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Reue
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Bit harsh...
OP said themselves they didnt know what they were actually expecting for a response.

Perhaps harsh but my points remain.
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Reue
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I suppose it's easy to make quick judgements about faceless people you don't know over the internet.
Very easy. And what else do you expect people to do given a short paragraph of introduction into your life?

(Original post by Anonymous)
If I was completely needy I wouldn't be so supportive of him going in the first place. I am and always have been, and as quoted by others, "fiercely independent".
Congratulations? You don't need to prove yourself to me. I couldnt care less whether you were needy or not. It's you who has come here saying you're worried about how you will cope.



(Original post by Anonymous)
But I do like socialising too incl when I'm at home. I've lived with big groups of friends and I'm just not used to living somewhere completely on my own.
So have friends over. Go out with friends.


(Original post by Anonymous)
Also, I don't want him to waste his time skyping me all the time and I've said that to him. He's there for a reason and he should not waste it sitting in some Internet cafe. If it were me I would not want to feel obligated like that either whilst travelling.
Okay, apologies for suggesting what seemed like the most obvious and practical solution.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by fredscarecrow)
My partner has been gone for 2 months so I know where youre coming from, except mine is working rather than travelling.

It is hard when you live with them and are used to having them around. I hate going to bed by myself and the house being dark and quiet after I come home from work. But, time has passed and ive got somewhat used to it.
I get to watch rubbish telly, and not fight over the duvet. We try and talk regularly, so work something out in advance. That way youre not afraid to go out or be busy incase he happens to skype! Keep busy - im meeting up with friends, ive gone home for a few days to be pampered by my parents...etc. having stuff to look forward to helps time go faster.

Because I live away from friends and family, we made sure I had a list of emergency contact numbers, rac, whatever. So if the car broke, or there was a problem with the house id be able to sort it (im guilty of my partner doing a lot around the house, and he loves cars).

Just prepare the practical side of things, and make sure to keep yourself busy. Time will pass, and make sure ypur bf keeps you periodically updated so youre not worrying about him.

Posted from TSR Mobile
Thank you for your reply. Yes I think worrying about him travelling around on his own especially after those two medical students died in thailand is far from helpful! He's promised to send postcards and skype when he can, so we shall see.
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CherryCherryBoomBoom
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My boyfriend and I were apart for 3 months when I went travelling, and we coped fine. Then again, it's a bit different for us cos we'd been long distance for a year anyway, so we were already quite used to not seeing each other very often. It is quite hard to adjust at first, but if your relationship is strong then you will be fine. You will miss him for sure, but you just need to keep yourself busy so that you don't find yourself feeling too awful without him.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Reue)
Very easy. And what else do you expect people to do given a short paragraph of introduction into your life?



Congratulations? You don't need to prove yourself to me. I couldnt care less whether you were needy or not. It's you who has come here saying you're worried about how you will cope.





So have friends over. Go out with friends.




Okay, apologies for suggesting what seemed like the most obvious and practical solution.
Ok, well thank you what was highly unhelpful, and quite uncalled for, advice. My worries do not come from being needy, as you suggested. I am human and have worries like any other, and felt like sharing them to seek some resolve I may not have considered myself yet. No need to be sarcastic. Don't post if you're so disinterested.
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Reue
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Ok, well thank you what was highly unhelpful, and quite uncalled for, advice. My worries do not come from being needy, as you suggested. I am human and have worries like any other, and felt like sharing them to seek some resolve I may not have considered myself yet. No need to be sarcastic. Don't post if you're so disinterested.
I really don't know what else you were/are expecting other than people saying:

1. keep in touch
2. keep yourself social with others
3. 2 months isnt such a long time
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CHLOECHLOE1
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Hi, this has happened to me. Couple of days ago. My boyfriend has gone away to do a driving licence back to his country, we’ve only been together 5 months but have fallen very quickly for eachother, I’m finding it hard already not seeing him. If I’m finding it hard now, how will I cope? I would love someone to talk too..
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vidda
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(Original post by CHLOECHLOE1)
Hi, this has happened to me. Couple of days ago. My boyfriend has gone away to do a driving licence back to his country, we’ve only been together 5 months but have fallen very quickly for eachother, I’m finding it hard already not seeing him. If I’m finding it hard now, how will I cope? I would love someone to talk too..
This post is 4 years old CHLOE. Why necro bump it?
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CHLOECHLOE1
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I know what your going through.... I’m in this situation now 😢
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Sataris
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(Original post by vidda)
This post is 4 years old CHLOE. Why necro bump it?
https://i.imgur.com/cteZ4tA.png

I think it's because of the "Related discussions" section under the threads. New members see threads there and don't realise how old they are
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CHLOECHLOE1
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Yes that’s it, I didn’t see how long ago it was. Apologies for being new...
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Sataris
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(Original post by CHLOECHLOE1)
Yes that’s it, I didn’t see how long ago it was. Apologies for being new...
Well dat's alright, I think it's a design flaw personally. Oh and remember to click the reply button on the person you want to reply to, otherwise they won't get notified
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CHLOECHLOE1
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(Original post by Sataris)
Well dat's alright, I think it's a design flaw personally. Oh and remember to click the reply button on the person you want to reply to, otherwise they won't get notified
Thank you
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lydia.sian9
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this is similar to me.. my boyfriend left the UK yesterday with his friend to travel across America for 6 weeks. I know it will go by mega quick and I’ve only been with him for 4 months, but like you said when you connect with someone it doesn’t matter how long you’ve been together.. I came on here to see how I’m going to cope too:/ it’s so sad when you’re used to someone making you feel loved and suddenly for them to be gone, even if it is only a holiday.
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Sev99
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Hey there, I have to apart from my boyfriend for the next two months also, how did you cope with it ??? did anything change ?
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