Join in on our 'Guess the Rep' Competition! >>

I'm so worried about going to university

I leave next week and each morning I wake up with a horrible sick feeling of dread in my stomach. I keep feeling emotional and weepy and it's made worse by the fact that most of my friends have left for uni already.
Obviously I'm excited and wouldn't turn down the chance to go, but I keep picturing these scenarios in my head where I don't make any friends and I end up alone in my room feeling homesick. My uni is right down the other end of the country, and it's also a very prestigious uni with a lot of private school, southern people. Being both a northerner and a state schooler, I'm worried I won't fit in. On my open day I felt a bit out of place - everyone seemed to know each other!
Then there's just little things I'm self conscious about like the brace I wear on my teeth! The fact I have a northern accent, and the fact I'm really scatty and disorganised which my friends round here find funny, but these random people I'm about to meet might disagree! I know it all sounds silly but I am actually terrified, I really need some advice on how to calm my nerves.

P.S I know everyone's in the same boat blah blah blah but the fact is, I don't feel as though I have the confidence to start knocking on random people's doors and starting up conversations with loads of different people.

Reply 1

Sazarina88

The scenarios you describe (not making any friends) are very very unlikely to happen. Imagine the worst scenario (you don't make friends with anyone) and the best (you'll make lots of friends) and be happy that you're going to be somewhere towards the best scenario.

Some people might not be used to mixing with people that aren't "southerners" but that doesn't mean they aren't going to like you. Anyone that has a problem with your brace or scattiness isn't worth it. Move on and realise that there are people that are going to be great friends.

You don't need the confidence to go knocking on people's doors. When you're in your room unpacking, prop your door open with something and play some music. That way you're making it much easier for people to introduce themselves to you.

What you're feeling is perfectly normal. Don't worry about it and you'll soon realise that you're going to have a fantastic time :smile:

Reply 2

Opalfruit

I'm feeling pretty nervous too, in a similar situation (northern, comprehensive - going to southern, prestigious uni) so you are not alone. I think firstly whilst you might not want to knock on peoples doors, you'll probably find them knocking on yours so you'll find yourself making friends without trying. I have a brace too, I doubt anyone will notice or care, I wouldn't. Finally, I think once you get there away fom familiar surroundings etc. the adrenalin might kick in a bit and you'll find yourself more confident than you think.

One tip would be to go on the TSR forum bit for universities and see if you can find anyone in your university/ college/ halls etc who you can get chatting to before you go, or at least just to talk to about any worries etc.

Hope you feel better and have a good time!

Reply 3

The_Bear

What uni? I went to Bath and I was the only private school kid in my circle of friends.

A lot of northern people too, I got lamped by one of them. It was awesome.

Reply 4

notts

my housemates bf is at oxford, and i found them A LOT less pretentious and a lot more accepting of us "common folk" than i was expecting when i visited.

i found edinburgh, on the other hand, to be very very snobby.

the worst thing u can do is lock yourself in your room, force yourself to go and socialise. it will be fine!

Reply 5

tanusha-tomsk

You can't possibly be the only northern state-school person can you :smile:

Everyone is in the same position as you - nervous, scared of being lonely and homesick. thousands of people come from different countries, speaking English as a foreign language and being miles away from theyir families, and still everyone (well, a vast majority) of them find a friend or lots of friends as the case may be. Uni offers plenty of chances to get to know people, for a start you'll be living together - you can't possibly expect that your flatmates won't speak to you :rolleyes:

. And in your lectures you'll be grouped with people of similar interests. You are lucky enough to get in and be able to go, so go and make the most of it :smile:

Good luck and cheer up!

Reply 6

eden

Hi. I'm a second year now, and before i went to uni i was so scared too. I'm sure you won't be the only northerner there, and you'll find loads of people who feel like you. i wasn't really looking forward to uni because i thought i wouldn't fit in and stuff.

but try not to worry about it all too much coz you're not the only one that feels like that. Freshers week is great coz its like the only time its perfectly fine to talk to random people, if you find yourself sitting in your room alone, then see if thers anyone else on your floor or whatever around and have the confidence to say 'hi i'm whoever' and all the other questions about courses / where they're from / what they're into, and get talking to someone else. Look forward to it, coz when you've settled in and got used to it and whatever its great. Good Luck, Eden

Reply 7

ForumFreak

notts

i found edinburgh, on the other hand, to be very very snobby.QUOTE]

My friend said exactly the same thing.

Anyway what kind of accomadation do you have? Is there a shared kitchen or living room? If so that should help.

Even if you are a shy person if you look friendly (I've heard keeping your arms by your side instead of folded makes you look more approachable) people will come and talk to you.

Reply 8

Anonymous #2

I'm scared about leaving my family and everything I know, I'm scared about the whole lifestyle change...everything.

Has anyone got ANY advice how to stop myself being homesick?

Reply 9

Anonymous #3

im feeling the same..! ahh.. im just gonna be friendly but just not try overly hard.. scary tho! i am really gonna miss my house and family n friends! :frown:

but we just gotta go there with positive thoughts. the best things come from taking risks, so just see it more positvely.. and make ur room nice and homely with photos, posters etc..

Reply 10

tortured

you're not alone, as you can see :P i'm a northerner, going to a northern uni, but still i'm scared that i won't get on with the southerners who apparentely make up the vast majority of people on my course.

Reply 11

Lucy_88

Yes i am also nervous but i think alcohol will help because it makes me more confident.

Reply 12

Lucy_88

By the way i'm a southerner (well midlander) and i'm not the least bit snobby. :biggrin:

Reply 13

Invocation

Relax OP. Im sure things will turn out great :biggrin:

Reply 14

Anonymous #4

Well I'm a "southerner" who has moved up to the north for university and nearly everyone here seems to be northern (obviously lol) which does make me feel out of place. So it works both ways, don't feel alone in feeling the way that you do. I was absolutely petrified before leaving for uni but I've been here a few days now and am still alive so you'll probably be more resiliant than you think.

Reply 15

allymcb2

Well if you are going to either Oxford or Cambridge, there will definately be lots of over-friendly people knocking on your door, plus college parents. I'm sure the other unis have similar things. And private school people aren't usually that mean, and don't usually ask where you went to school in my experience. I am pretty disorganised, and have a northern accent, as do quite a few people I know who have gone to prestigious southern unis, so I doubt it will be a problem.

Reply 16

Anonymous #5

I scared but not because im leaving home but the opposite because i have to live at home and commutte im really worried that im not going to fit in ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh>

Reply 17

Rainbow_Chick

Anonymous

I scared but not because im leaving home but the opposite because i have to live at home and commutte im really worried that im not going to fit in ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh>

Try not to worry too much, look at me if you seen me last week i was so NERVOUS!!!!!!! sunday night i kept on waking up all tho the night when monday came i was stll nervous but i felt abit better. I too live at home and travel there by bus and it has not been that bad. im not gonna lie its harder to make friends tho try and speak to as much people as poss. I was lucky the 1st person i met is in my class and lives at home too!!