Life is making me feel so lonely and useless... help?!Watch
Another thing is that I've never had a proper boyfriend. I had one guy ask me out who was really sweet and shy, but he moved to another college and I just felt that I liked him as a friend rather than anything more. Plus I knew I had to be honest. I have been lead on by a guy too who asked me on a date and then a couple of days later told me he was joking. I'm not overly bothered about looks, just someone who has a positive, caring and funny personality and is a good person at heart. I know I'm only 16 but it just feels like I will never find anyone for me. I do like someone.. a little, and he started texting me for a little but then stopped and I don't really think there's any point in hoping that he likes me anymore.
I also don't have the best relationship with my mom. I love her and the rest of my family but I just cant talk to her that much. We don't do stuff together anymore and argue regularly. I went through something just under a year ago that involved me having to go to counselling and my mom hated it, and she has never forgiven me.
After sixth form I am currently hoping to go and study Midwifery at university. I also don't plan on moving away to university as there are quite a few in my area that I can get to by car and also I want to work so I can earn whilst studying like my sister has. I'm scared that this will mean I still won't meet anyone because I won't be living away, but I don't want to move away because like I said I want to work and I want to stay close to my family. Plus having this plan for the future makes me excited that i'll finally be making something of myself, there will be so many more opportunities, freedom and new people. The problem is it's like I KNOW in the back of mind that this won't be the case, and in 2-3 years from now I will be just as sad and lonely as I am now.
Basically, will things get better I am not ungrateful and I completely realise that there are people worse off than me.. this is why I don't speak about how I'm feeling that much. Plus when it comes to life I will choose love over a ton of money any day. I am a believer that good comes out of bad ... but, I'm scared it won't. I don't want the rest of my teenage years to be this lonely and depressing..
Thank you! And sorry for such a long post!!!!!