Life is making me feel so lonely and useless... help?!

Anonymous #1
Report Thread starter 6 years ago
Hey! I know this might not exactly link to mental health but I felt it was best to post this forum here because it would be anonymous. I'm 16 and female and I've just started sixth form this September. I'm at the same school that I have been at since year 7, except now I am in year 12. To be honest, I don't really like sixth form. It isn't because of the work aspect as I know this is what everyone is struggling with, but rather I'm struggling with connecting with the people around me. I'm not a popular person whatsoever and to be honest I'm glad I'm not. However a lot of my friends don't act like close friends. Quite a few (even now we are 16/17 years old) are still in some ways quite two faced. They talk to me when they want to ask something, tell me about their boyfriends, or ask me something about the homework, but then all go out together and post selfies on snapchat and instagram knowing that I will see them. I'm no unsociable, I ALWAYS approach people with a smile, I ALWAYS act happy even when I'm sick to death of what is going on and I'm never nasty to someone (even if I may not actually like them) because I know what it's like to be picked on and bullied.
Another thing is that I've never had a proper boyfriend. I had one guy ask me out who was really sweet and shy, but he moved to another college and I just felt that I liked him as a friend rather than anything more. Plus I knew I had to be honest. I have been lead on by a guy too who asked me on a date and then a couple of days later told me he was joking. I'm not overly bothered about looks, just someone who has a positive, caring and funny personality and is a good person at heart. I know I'm only 16 but it just feels like I will never find anyone for me. I do like someone.. a little, and he started texting me for a little but then stopped and I don't really think there's any point in hoping that he likes me anymore.
I also don't have the best relationship with my mom. I love her and the rest of my family but I just cant talk to her that much. We don't do stuff together anymore and argue regularly. I went through something just under a year ago that involved me having to go to counselling and my mom hated it, and she has never forgiven me.
After sixth form I am currently hoping to go and study Midwifery at university. I also don't plan on moving away to university as there are quite a few in my area that I can get to by car and also I want to work so I can earn whilst studying like my sister has. I'm scared that this will mean I still won't meet anyone because I won't be living away, but I don't want to move away because like I said I want to work and I want to stay close to my family. Plus having this plan for the future makes me excited that i'll finally be making something of myself, there will be so many more opportunities, freedom and new people. The problem is it's like I KNOW in the back of mind that this won't be the case, and in 2-3 years from now I will be just as sad and lonely as I am now.
Basically, will things get better I am not ungrateful and I completely realise that there are people worse off than me.. this is why I don't speak about how I'm feeling that much. Plus when it comes to life I will choose love over a ton of money any day. I am a believer that good comes out of bad ... but, I'm scared it won't. I don't want the rest of my teenage years to be this lonely and depressing..
Thank you! And sorry for such a long post!!!!!
Badges: 21
Report 6 years ago
Therein lies your problem. You're only 16 and thinking about love, that's why you feel this way. Make sure you get what you actually need first (degree + job), and it's "helluva" lot easier to focus on your work if you stop having these self-deprecating thoughts.

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