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having a girl best friend and dating?

Hey there - keep anon as she is on here

To keep it short Im a guy and my best friend in the whole wide world is a girl.

Basically Im just worried about what happens when I got a girlfriend? will it be an issue?

Im basically thinking I should just tell a girl on a first date so she knows, so it wont be a "surprise" or anything or do you think that would be a bad move?

NOTE: it is totally platonic between us - she is like a sister to me

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Not really unless she's annoying


Posted from TSR Mobile
Original post by Anonymous
Hey there - keep anon as she is on here

To keep it short Im a guy and my best friend in the whole wide world is a girl.

Basically Im just worried about what happens when I got a girlfriend? will it be an issue?

Im basically thinking I should just tell a girl on a first date so she knows, so it wont be a "surprise" or anything or do you think that would be a bad move?

NOTE: it is totally platonic between us - she is like a sister to me


Its not a case of saying "oh, and I have a best friend who is a girl.."
You're hopefully going to be dating someone who likes you for who you are, she should understand that you also have important people to you
Reply 3
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Enoxial
16
Don't worry Ted Mosby, Robin just wants to be friends...
Platonic indeed. Cracking philosopher.
Reply 5
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Anonymous #1
OP
Original post by MyName??!
Its not a case of saying "oh, and I have a best friend who is a girl.."
You're hopefully going to be dating someone who likes you for who you are, she should understand that you also have important people to you


Guess youre right



Original post by AlphaTango
Depends if your best friend is incredibly hot. If so you're screwed!


I would say she is attractive yes but asking me if she is, would be asking the same thing about my sister
I won't lie, it would bother me, because people often have friends who they genuinely see as friends for ages then fall for. But if I really liked you, and you were nice/reassuring about it rather than defensive I'd try to get over it. Don't just tell her straight away, it would look weird - let it be natural.
Original post by Anonymous

I would say she is attractive yes but asking me if she is, would be asking the same thing about my sister


You can judge whether a sibling is attractive! I can tell whether my brother's good looking, obviously I think nothing of it apart from yeah he's conventionally attractive. He always tells me how I could be so pretty if I lost weight haha and he's my go-to person to ask how I look in stuff before I leave the house because he'll be deadly honest.
Reply 8
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Anonymous #1
OP
Original post by joker12345
I won't lie, it would bother me, because people often have friends who they genuinely see as friends for ages then fall for. But if I really liked you, and you were nice/reassuring about it rather than defensive I'd try to get over it. Don't just tell her straight away, it would look weird - let it be natural.


I would only ever get defensive about it if a potential girlfriend or girlfriend got offensive about it- ah okay, I just think its something a girl should know as Ive heard it can be an issue thats all.

Original post by joker12345
You can judge whether a sibling is attractive! I can tell whether my brother's good looking, obviously I think nothing of it apart from yeah he's conventionally attractive. He always tells me how I could be so pretty if I lost weight haha and he's my go-to person to ask how I look in stuff before I leave the house because he'll be deadly honest.


I guess youre right
Reply 9
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Anonymous #1
OP
Any other help?
Well what are you going to do, never date anyone ever?

Either start dating and see what happens, or start seeing your sisterly best friend as the kind of sister you smash.
I went on a date with a guy who mentioned a female friend a couple of times. Didn't bother me at all until he said that he'd told her about me and she'd said that she wanted to talk to me and tell me she wasn't a threat. I found it quite awkward and wasn't sure how to respond.

There's no need to warn a girl about your friend. You're building it up into a bigger deal than it is.
I have a close male friend who has a gf. He classes me as his best friend and although i have no feelings for him his gf does not like this at all. She gets super pissy with him whenever she sees that i have text him, or if i come up in conversation. Lately we met face to face at a party and she was very off with me/ had a massive tantrum when her bf came to hug me hello.... So i guess it depends on how secure the girl is as to whether or not its gonna be a big issue.
Recently she has sent me a message trying to be friendly with me and trying to tell.me that's she's not a nutter, but feels threatened.... IM feeling this is a keep.your friends close and enemies closer kinda deal...
Original post by Jezebelle
I went on a date with a guy who mentioned a female friend a couple of times. Didn't bother me at all until he said that he'd told her about me and she'd said that she wanted to talk to me and tell me she wasn't a threat. I found it quite awkward and wasn't sure how to respond.

There's no need to warn a girl about your friend. You're building it up into a bigger deal than it is.


aww okay - that reassures me slightly - thanks :smile: x

Original post by Future African game vet
I have a close male friend who has a gf. He classes me as his best friend and although i have no feelings for him his gf does not like this at all. She gets super pissy with him whenever she sees that i have text him, or if i come up in conversation. Lately we met face to face at a party and she was very off with me/ had a massive tantrum when her bf came to hug me hello.... So i guess it depends on how secure the girl is as to whether or not its gonna be a big issue.
Recently she has sent me a message trying to be friendly with me and trying to tell.me that's she's not a nutter, but feels threatened.... IM feeling this is a keep.your friends close and enemies closer kinda deal...


if a girlfriend got pissy about it, I'm not sure how would act. Ofc I would reassure her but if she still was pissy - what do I do?
how long have you known her for?


Posted from TSR Mobile
Original post by Anonymous
Hey there - keep anon as she is on here

To keep it short Im a guy and my best friend in the whole wide world is a girl.

Basically Im just worried about what happens when I got a girlfriend? will it be an issue?

Im basically thinking I should just tell a girl on a first date so she knows, so it wont be a "surprise" or anything or do you think that would be a bad move?

NOTE: it is totally platonic between us - she is like a sister to me


I wouldnt tell her on the first date. Just make sure your friends respects your gf if she has any issues.

I think it depends on the situation. My boyfriend has a 'best friend' that he used to fancy. He says she is attractive but does not fancy her since being with me. I am extrememly uncomfortable with it because I know they talk alot and when asked if he would sleep with her if he was single he said 'i would sleep with any good looking girl if i was single'

It doesn't like your gf should have any reason to worry though as your friendship you say is platonic. If she has an issue reassure her and even hang out with the both of them there and it should be ok.
Original post by blondyx
I wouldnt tell her on the first date. Just make sure your friends respects your gf if she has any issues.

I think it depends on the situation. My boyfriend has a 'best friend' that he used to fancy. He says she is attractive but does not fancy her since being with me. I am extrememly uncomfortable with it because I know they talk alot and when asked if he would sleep with her if he was single he said 'i would sleep with any good looking girl if i was single'

It doesn't like your gf should have any reason to worry though as your friendship you say is platonic. If she has an issue reassure her and even hang out with the both of them there and it should be ok.


Okay and yeah she would respect her - she really wants me to find someone and has been a help with my confidence in that area :smile:

If it makes a difference - said friend lives about 80 miles away atm so we do skype a lot and hardly get to see each other so when we do we spend the whole day together

My future gf wouldnt need to worry no and I would reassure her and everything etc
Original post by Anonymous
Okay and yeah she would respect her - she really wants me to find someone and has been a help with my confidence in that area :smile:

If it makes a difference - said friend lives about 80 miles away atm so we do skype a lot and hardly get to see each other so when we do we spend the whole day together

My future gf wouldnt need to worry no and I would reassure her and everything etc


It should be ok. she might be a bit uneasy at first but depends on her as a person especially as you say you skype her and see her for a whole day. I am sure she will have no reason to have problem as you seem purely plantonic. If she does have a problem just get to the bottom of it and make compromises.
every friendship is different. Would what you think of my situation being my boyfriend has a best friend he talks to alot he has fancied up until he got feelings for me? :/
Original post by blondyx
It should be ok. she might be a bit uneasy at first but depends on her as a person especially as you say you skype her and see her for a whole day. I am sure she will have no reason to have problem as you seem purely plantonic. If she does have a problem just get to the bottom of it and make compromises.
every friendship is different. Would what you think of my situation being my boyfriend has a best friend he talks to alot he has fancied up until he got feelings for me? :/


I guess it does very person to person and should okay though I guess and yes I would make compromises as you do in any relationship anyway

I would say dont worry about it as I know people who have had feelings for eachother but both have separate relationships but have remained friends - - my view is if he didnt have feelings for you, he wouldnt be with you would he? But yeah just dont worry about it as hes with you - not her.
Between the ages of 16 and 20, my best friend was male, and two years older than me. We got on SO well, everyone was always telling us we should be together, but neither of us ever felt that. We were just like best friends should be.

When he got a girlfriend, she wasn't happy about it, even though I tried to break the ice ASAP and get to know her. He told me that he would have to stop being my friend, and I was so gutted it was untrue. It had been four years of being constantly in touch, with several years of knowing each other before that, and suddenly not only did he not want to know me, but I couldn't even say hello to him if I saw him in the street.. which happens all the time because where we live is tiny.

He split up with her after 2 years and we met up, but it just wasn't the same, and that made me even sadder. I don't see him at all now.

PLEASE don't let your relationship get in the way of your friendships. It's not fair on you, and it won't be fair on your friend either. She can't help being a girl.

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