Feeling lonely and depressed at university Watch

sbc18
Badges: 2
Rep:
?
#1
Report Thread starter 4 years ago
#1
I started my first year at university about 3 weeks ago and I wish I never came here. I don't have any friends at all inside and outside of university therefore I have no one I can talk to about this. I choose to go to uni because I didn't have a job and needed to do something to better myself but since coming to this uni I've made no friends and I feel hopeless because everyone else has friends and I'm all alone and I have no idea how to fix this. The uni that I go to doesn't have any good societies/ barely any societies, my flatmates are antisocial I tried speaking to one of them and she completely ignored me and on top of that the people on my course seem to have already found their friendship groups.
Has anyone got any advice? as this is making me want to drop out of university.
0
reply
somemightsay888
Badges: 20
Rep:
?
#2
Report 4 years ago
#2
Oh man, bar the accommodation you've described my situation. However, just today I started slowly getting to know people. I would stick it out and just slowly get to know people. Sit with people in lectures, you don't even have to say much but the odd comment now and then to make your presence known and people will talk to you I know it feels hopeless now, believe me I felt the same for the past 3 weeks, but it does get better. If you really feel you hate it, you could apply for a transfer.
0
reply
sbc18
Badges: 2
Rep:
?
#3
Report Thread starter 4 years ago
#3
(Original post by somemightsay888)
Oh man, bar the accommodation you've described my situation. However, just today I started slowly getting to know people. I would stick it out and just slowly get to know people. Sit with people in lectures, you don't even have to say much but the odd comment now and then to make your presence known and people will talk to you I know it feels hopeless now, believe me I felt the same for the past 3 weeks, but it does get better. If you really feel you hate it, you could apply for a transfer.
How long has it taken you to start talking to people in ur uni?
0
reply
somemightsay888
Badges: 20
Rep:
?
#4
Report 4 years ago
#4
(Original post by sbc18)
How long has it taken you to start talking to people in ur uni?
3 weeks, I just started today. There are still people in my class who don't really talk
0
reply
Anythingoo1
Badges: 13
Rep:
?
#5
Report 4 years ago
#5
the best way to meet people is probably joining a society that you are interested in. If your university doesn't have anything that you fancy then join a really general one like film society or cheese society (or something like that). I don't really know that many people at uni and I'm a 2nd year, only people from my halls who I now live with, some people on my course, some friends from sixth form and friends of friends really.

The important thing is to not be afraid of putting yourself out there. You are only 3 weeks in! You still have loads of time to make new friends, and alot of them too. Sit next to people in lectures, make friends with people in your seminar groups, you can't expect people to just come up to you and want to be friends with you.
0
reply
Zottula
Badges: 16
Rep:
?
#6
Report 4 years ago
#6
Hi. I'm really sorry to hear you are feeling so down. Please don't give up and drop out just yet. 3 weeks is really very little time. I remember when I started in first year it took time to get to know anyone. You may find yourself still making new friends in 2nd and 3rd year. I certainly did not make all of my friends in the first few weeks, or even the first year. It may feel like people have already formed friendship groups, but I'm sure there are plenty of people still feeling uncomfortable and like they haven't got any friends yet, you just haven't noticed them. Also, just because some people have formed groups, doesn't mean they won't accept anyone new!

Don't worry about your flatmates. You don't have to live with them next year, and you can get friendly with course mates and people in societies. I know you said that there aren't many societies, or that they are not that great, but surely there is something you can go to. You might as well just give it a go.

Are you at least enjoying the course/subject itself?

Please don't get too upset about it. What you are feeling is really quite normal, and 3 weeks is not long at all.
0
reply
BlobBlob69
Badges: 10
Rep:
?
#7
Report 2 months ago
#7
(Original post by sbc18)
I started my first year at university about 3 weeks ago and I wish I never came here. I don't have any friends at all inside and outside of university therefore I have no one I can talk to about this. I choose to go to uni because I didn't have a job and needed to do something to better myself but since coming to this uni I've made no friends and I feel hopeless because everyone else has friends and I'm all alone and I have no idea how to fix this. The uni that I go to doesn't have any good societies/ barely any societies, my flatmates are antisocial I tried speaking to one of them and she completely ignored me and on top of that the people on my course seem to have already found their friendship groups.
Has anyone got any advice? as this is making me want to drop out of university.
When i was in uni all the friends i met wern't even in my uni. i had a part time job which i made 2 friends. we would go out to eat or get a drink on fridays after work. i met alot of people at the gym, say hello to all the staff and make small talk and you quickly become friends. there was a girl there 24, at the time i was 19 but we became good friends. another guy from gym invited me to his church event on a boat. i went and it was cool, met more people and some girls. me and the church guy would link up often and play games. another guy who was at the event we went for drinks. met friends of friends and their girlfriends went clubbing and met girls from other uni's or just local women etc thus the social web expands. and all this time i didnt even know a single person from my own uni or dorm lol. Most people at uni have zero social skils, or are groupies and have their little crews.

so My advice is just go to places. Start with your societies. even though they're all rubbish just go for the sake of having an opportunity to conversate with people other than the antisocial weirdoes in your dorm room
0
reply
4nonymous
Badges: 10
Rep:
?
#8
Report 2 months ago
#8
I was actually in a similar situation during my first year. I made a few friends on a different course to me but never saw them as I was always in my own classes which they weren't in and I never made any friends on my own course. However after continuously going to classes everyone starts to notice you and remember you as a classmate so you'll get to make friends then. It took me about a year to make friends so I wouldn't give up just yet. Also, for some reason 2nd year of university is when everyone really makes friends anyways
0
reply
ltsmith
Badges: 20
Rep:
?
#9
Report 2 months ago
#9
Get a part-time job. In my experience, it's much easier to make friends with colleagues than making friends with people at university.
0
reply
Airmed
Badges: 21
Rep:
?
#10
Report 2 months ago
#10
This is an old thread, Puddles the Monkey, could you lock it please? (I can't?)
0
reply
Anonymous #1
#11
Report 6 days ago
#11
Similar situation but for me I've finished first year of uni and I have no friends. Im optimistic that things will change when I return later this year as I have planned to join more societies.
Posted on the TSR App. Download from Apple or Google Play
0
reply
X

Quick Reply

Attached files
Write a reply...
Reply
new posts
Latest
My Feed

See more of what you like on
The Student Room

You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

Personalise

University open days

  • Bournemouth University
    Clearing Open Day Undergraduate
    Wed, 31 Jul '19
  • Staffordshire University
    Postgraduate open event - Stoke-on-Trent campus Postgraduate
    Wed, 7 Aug '19
  • University of Derby
    Foundation Open Event Further education
    Wed, 7 Aug '19

Are you tempted to change your firm university choice on A-level results day?

Yes, I'll try and go to a uni higher up the league tables (137)
17.75%
Yes, there is a uni that I prefer and I'll fit in better (73)
9.46%
No I am happy with my course choice (455)
58.94%
I'm using Clearing when I have my exam results (107)
13.86%

Watched Threads

View All