Parents dont want me to get checked out for ADHD

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 7 years ago
#1
Sorry if this is a bit long
So many times I have been called by my parents and teachers...
"time waster"
"forgetful"
"easily distracted"
"bad concentration"
"badly behaved"
"hyper"
"fiddler"
"inattentive"
"disorganized"
"restless"
"clumsy"
"excited often"
"motor mouth"
"slow".

The list goes on, but you already get what I'm getting at here.

I started to realise that I was the only one I knew being called this and this got me questioning why this was only me. I always thought that this was normal for teens and its just hormones and I was normal. But it was constant trend for me, it always happened. Not one day went by when I wasn' t told off for being any of the above.

It was a real struggle for me to revise too or do anything that was boring for me. I had a concentration span of about 5 seconds. If I was revising I would find myself either fiddling with everything in reaching distance, going on a completely different website that had nothing to do with revision or just reading the passively. I still thought I was just a normal teenager because I kept telling myself "obviously teens don't want to revise, its boring as heck anyway". But I knew I was lying to myself.

So I took the liberty to type in to Google some of these words and ADHD on the NHS website came up. I had a slight idea of what ADHD was at the time but it wasn't a lot, so I clicked on the website and read it. I was shocked to find out that It had so much in common with me and how I behaved. I thought I didn't have it because I wasn't diagnosed with it at birth but I found out that it was possible to develop it in between the age of 6-12.

But here is the thing. My parents don't want me to get checked for ADHD. They don't want me to get labelled and they keep trying to convince me I don't have it. I do respect their decision of them not wanting me to get labelled, they are just parents right? I try to show them the website but they don't want to look at it they just say "you're just lazy" or "you're just a teenager" Is there no way I can get checked? Because I really cant do anything with my life right now. I want to become a doctor and I do understand its hard work so I keep trying to revise but I just cant and its really frustrating me. There are also many problems that I really want to stop (revision is the top priority though) and by getting checked out for ADHD I could possibly get help and exercises for this.
Please help

Thanks for reading
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Kid_B
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#2
Report 7 years ago
#2
I can relate! I was diagnosed with severe ADHD a year ago, and my parents were very unsupportive throughout the whole process- until I got the diagnosis they were adamant I was just making up excuses for not doing work.
After getting diagnosed I was prescribed medication (which helps a lot) and I got the support from school that I needed, as well as extra time and rest breaks in exams. It's also really helpful for the future: at uni you'll be eligible for something called the DSA (a grant which pays for stuff such as printing, a new laptop, and even someone to give you one-to-one study skills sessions). Most of all it was good just to know I wasn't just lazy and badly behaved; being labelled as ADHD is a good thing as it helps people to understand you aren't doing it on purpose!
Ok, so here's what you do:

STEP 1: Time for one last ditch attempt at convincing your parents, try these arguments:
:suitd:There is far more stigma behind labels such as disorganised, lazy, rude, forgetful etc. than ADHD.
:suitd:A diagnosis will mean you will get the help you need; you can get better grades and learn how to manage the symptoms better, plus medication makes concentrating a lot easier. Ask your parents if they want your behaviour to improve- they wouldn't have to dread school reports anymore!
:suitd:The diagnosis is confidential, so you can choose how many people are aware of this "label". Hardly anyone has to know; you
won't be walking around for the rest of your life wearing a badge saying "
HI I HAVE ADHD", in fact, the the symptoms will be much less noticeable.
STEP 2: GP Referral
:suits:Go to your GP (you can do this with or without your parents), they won't diagnose you, but they will refer you to someone who can.
:suits:Before you go, write down a list of things you have problems with, so you don't forget to mention anything.
:suits:When you get in, tell the GP you think you have ADHD, and describe what's wrong, referring to your list if you need to.
:suits:He will ask some questions, just answer as honestly as possible!
:suits:At the end he will tell you if he is referring you or not.
STEP 3: Waiting for the appointment
:suitd:You will get a letter saying you have an appointment with a psychiatrist, this can take a while (6 weeks for me) so hang on in there!
:suitd:Before your appointment they will probably send a questionnaire to your parents and school, they might send one to you too, or you might do it at the appointment. The questionnaire involves a statement such as "Often talks excessively" then numbers 0 1 2 3 to circle, depending on how true it is.
:suitd:Don't worry if your parents answer the questionnaire in a biased way (because they don't want you to be diagnosed). Despite not believing I had it, the results of my parents questionnaire showed strong evidence of ADHD. They also consider all the evidence to make a diagnosis, and your parent's answers are only a small part of this. If they don't answer it/answer it untruthfully it won't matter.
:suitd:They might send someone to you school to observe your behaviour in the classroom, this didn't happen to me, but from what I can gather you should just try to act naturally and forget they're even there (easier said than done, sorry).

STEP 4: The appointment, finally! *NOTE* This could be a couple of months after visiting the GP (NHS: you get what you pay for ).
:suits:If you haven't been given a questionnaire yet, you will do it there.
:suits:If you did manage to get your parents support you can bring one or both along. But it's actually a bit easier to answer questions honestly without them there.
:suits:The psychiatrist is very friendly, and will ask lot's of questions, so just relax and answer as best you can. It might help to bring your list from before. But this time make sure to mention the how these problems affect you: e.g say to the GP "I find it really difficult to concentrate", say to the psychiatrist "I find it really difficult to concentrate, this makes it very difficult to revise, it's frustrating, and I'm worried I won't be able to pass my exams."
:suits:At the end of the appointment they may give you a clue as to whether they will diagnose you or not, however they still have to weigh up all the evidence so don't be disappointed if they don't say anything definite.
STEP 5: Diagnosis
:suitd:You'll get a letter for appointment number 2, (could be a few weeks more).
:suitd:When you get there they'll tell you if you have ADHD or not.
:suitd:They'll give you some strategies to cope, and advice on the best ways to revise and learn.
:suitd:Between you, you'll decide if there's anything your school could do to help. After the appointment they'll send a letter to your school saying you have ADHD, and recommend things they can do. It's ok if these are just rough ideas, you will get the chance to talk about this further with the learning support person at your school.
:suitd:They'll also talk about medication (if you have worse than "mild" ADHD), it's good to do some research before the appointment, as this is an important decision. Personally, I'd advise giving it a go, however it's completely up to you. They will gradually increase the dose, and meet with you regularly to see how you're getting on.

STEP 6: Ace your exams, become a doctor, and rub it in your parents faces!:crown:
2
Anonymous #1
#3
Report Thread starter 7 years ago
#3
WOW!! Best answer ever

Thanks a lot Kid_B. I had NO idea what so ever about all these things associated with ADHD. I really appreciate you telling me all this.

How are you coping now since you have been diagnosed with it?
Also I have GCSE mocks starting on the 11th of December and it is a real struggle to revise. I really don't know how I'm going to convince my parents to let me get checked. Shall I just tell my pastoral leader at school? Even if I try to tell my parents they don't want to hear a word of it!!

Thanks a lot!!!
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goolieyags
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#4
Report 6 years ago
#4
(Original post by Kid_B)
[/COLOR][/COLOR]STEP 1: Time for one last ditch attempt at convincing your parents, try these arguments:
STEP 2: GP Referral
:suits:Go to your GP (you can do this with or without your parents), they won't diagnose you, but they will refer you to someone who can.
:suits:Before you go, write down a list of things you have problems with, so you don't forget to mention anything.
:suits:When you get in, tell the GP you think you have ADHD, and describe what's wrong, referring to your list if you need to.
:suits:He will ask some questions, just answer as honestly as possible!
:suits:At the end he will tell you if he is referring you or not.
:suitd:Before your appointment they will probably send a questionnaire to your parents and school, they might send one to you too, or you might do it at the appointment. The questionnaire involves a statement such as "Often talks excessively" then numbers 0 1 2 3 to circle, depending on how true it is.
[/COLOR]
:suits:If you haven't been given a questionnaire yet, you will do it there.
from before. But this time make sure to mention the how these problems affect you: e.g say to the GP "I find it really difficult to concentrate", say to the psychiatrist "I find it really difficult to concentrate, this makes it very difficult to revise, it's frustrating, and I'm worried I won't be able to pass my exams."
up all the evidence so don't be disappointed if they don't say anything definite.
STEP 5: Diagnosis
:suitd:You'll get a letter for appointment number 2, (could be a few weeks more).
:suitd:When you get there they'll tell you if you have ADHD or not.
:suitd:They'll give you some strategies to cope, and advice on the best ways to revise and learn.
[/COLOR]

omg that was SOOOO useful thank you so much!!!
(I'm in EXACTLY, like legit EXACTLY, the same position as the OP)
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