What will you be doing over the Easter break? >>

The other girl

I’m really sorry about the long post.

I started going out with my current boyfriend a few months ago and everything has been great. He has been a friend for years, and I know that he has liked me for ages, but it wasn’t until now that I was able to return these feelings. That is not to say he has been hanging around waiting for me for years as several months before I got with him there was another girl on the scene, but as far as I’m aware not much came of it. I used to see them together around college and she was always quite flirty with him, which was absolutely fine then, but now that I’m with him, she is still flirting.

The other day she just appeared asking him if he was going to lesson yet and would he walk with her, when it was pretty obvious me and my boyfriend were having a bit of a moment and I wasn’t going to see him all weekend. Then she just completely ignored me, as though I wasn’t even there. It’s just becoming more and more of an issue, as she keeps popping up, not only when me and my boyfriend are together but also in conversations with other friends etc. Also I even tried to talk to her generally when she was speaking to him or my other friend (who is also friends with her), but she just blanks me again. I know that it is always difficult when the guy you like gets a girlfriend and I can understand her frustration, but I really wish she would just back off a bit, or at least be a bit nicer. However they are still friends and I wouldn’t want to tell him he can’t be friends with her or anything.

I decided one night when my boyfriend and I were out at a friend’s birthday party that I would have to tell him my concerns. He reassured me that ‘I was the only one for him’ and asked if I wanted him to say something to her. I told him no, as I don’t want her to no she’s bothering me.

Am I getting upset over nothing? Did I make the wrong decision to tell him not to mention it? I just don’t really no what to do now, because it’s making me stressed out about my otherwise perfect relationship. Should I mention it again, or perhaps speak to her directly? I'm actually beginning to feel like the other girl who has come along and stolen him from her, even though I have known him for years. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks

Reply 1

Of course you should tell him, he sounds pretty understanding, i really doubt he'd want you being stressed out about a girl who doesnt mean anything to him.

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

She does mean something, as they are good friends. She just doesn't seem to realise that i'm with him now, and i'm stuck on what to tell him, as he seems oblivious to her bitterness towards me. I don't want to be the nagging girlfriend.

Reply 3

Hes a bloke, hes gonna be completely oblivious till you tell him. Why not tell him everything you've just written here? If my girlfriend was this worried about something, id sure want to know, just be honest with him.

Reply 4

doll-heart

He has a right to know; how can you expect it to stop if you don't say anything? She sounds like she's the one being out of order anyway; if your boyfriend is willing to say something about it then let him-- or maybe, better yet, get your mutual friend to say something to her, something like "back-off" but in nicer terms; the way only we girls can =]

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

I think you are right. I think I should say something again before I end up resenting him for his friendship with her. I think I would rather tell him than my other friend in case the girl mentions to him. He'd rather hear it from me, i'm sure. Should I just tell him, or wait until a circumstance in which I can point out her resentment, because otherwise she could just deny it? thanks again