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boyfriend in tears

i really need sum advice. my boyfriend is in his freshers weeks at manchester and he phoned me up yesterday in tears telling me he hates it! we have been together 2 years and i have never seen him cry. he is so clever, friendly and confident and i just didnt expect him to be like this!

he doesnt like his accomodation because its just a tower block with doors (no social area), he doesnt like his course and he is struggling to make friends. i went and stayed the night with his last night and he is so down. he isnt eating or sleeping. i dont know what to do. im starting my freshers in chester 2moro, but i feel sick just thinking about him in his own.

sorry if i have babbled on, but im so upset. thanks for reading. i dont want him to quit. :frown:

charlotte x

Reply 1

dogtanian

16

Everyone has hard patches. I had a massive cry at my mum on the Monday of Freshers. I had a pants freshers week for a number of reasons. But I'm going back for my second year, so it must have picked up somewhere. :smile:

Not much you can do now, really, but he'll get himself together and feel better, I'm sure.

Reply 2

Pezking

1

to OP: I think dogtanian is right in saying everyone has bad patches, maybe being away from home/friends just got to him there were times last year i wasn't sure if i really wanted to be here but i'm back for my second year too. I'd just tell him to stick with it for a bit and then if he really can't carry on to consider leaving and let him know you'll be there if he needs someone to talk to, it always helps to talk about things like this other people can offer you advice that never crossed your mind

Reply 3

MagicNMedicine

20

it's the first bleeding week, and as for having a tower block with no social area, welcome to student accommodation..? Did he think he was moving into the Midland Hotel?

coming outside the comfort zone is part of life, if you can't adapt to different situations and tough it out when the going gets tough, then you'll never make anything of yourself

Reply 4

bunthulhu

14

To the OP, I feel really sorry for your boyfriend. Just let him know that you love him and are there for him. Text and ring him lots, talk on msn, try and visit. Make sure he knows you care. I'm sure things will start looking up for him.

Reply 5

notts

u know, 1 piece of REALLY ACTUALLY good advice.

dont visit him too much.
however hard it is, it will alienate him from meeting ppl if u r up there all the time

Reply 6

Anonymous #2

dnt kno if this is the case for u, bt my boyf has cried 2me and i find it SUCH a turnoff :frown:

Reply 7

--

3

Ah come on, those puffy red eyes, sniffly nose, did it not get you going just a little bit?

Reply 8

Pezking

1

Anonymous

dnt kno if this is the case for u, bt my boyf has cried 2me and i find it SUCH a turnoff :frown:

wow i'm glad i don't know you

Reply 9

jaamis

notts

u know, 1 piece of REALLY ACTUALLY good advice.

dont visit him too much.
however hard it is, it will alienate him from meeting ppl if u r up there all the time

can i just say, this really IS great advice... take it to heart!

Reply 10

The_Bear

13

Wow, I haven't cried...ever. He must be finding it difficult but it will get better if he doesnt let it get him down.

Freshers Week was one of the best weeks of my life, we had a similar building but a shared kitchen. Have to say I only spent the time it took to cook in there and ate in my room. Why be sociable when you're cooking/eating?

edit: notts is temp banned? Why is it only the interesting people who get warnings?

Reply 11

hixey101

moving away to uni is a big emotional upheaval, and amongst all of the madness of freshers week, some people have a sudden realisation of all of the change that is happening around them.
This happened to me and im sure a lot of others but I stuck it out and everything started to fall into place and I began to settle into the whole new lifestyle, which is easier for some than others. Try telling him this, I'm sure he will be fine eventually, he seems like the kind of guy who will make friends easily anyway.

ah and also lets not forget that the upheaval is being made 10x worse by the fact that hes moved away from you...

Reply 12

--

3

The_Bear

Wow, I haven't cried...ever.

Liar.

Reply 13

Fleece

15

How the hell can he hate his course when he's still in Freshers Week?

Reply 14

hixey101

yeah thats why i was saying about sticking it out, hes looking for a reason why he feels like it and is taking it out on the course at the moment thats all, i think he will get more into it soon enough. just keep reasuring him.

Reply 15

Sunofnight

3

Anonymous

i really need sum advice. my boyfriend is in his freshers weeks at manchester and he phoned me up yesterday in tears telling me he hates it! we have been together 2 years and i have never seen him cry. he is so clever, friendly and confident and i just didnt expect him to be like this!

he doesnt like his accomodation because its just a tower block with doors (no social area), he doesnt like his course and he is struggling to make friends. i went and stayed the night with his last night and he is so down. he isnt eating or sleeping. i dont know what to do. im starting my freshers in chester 2moro, but i feel sick just thinking about him in his own.

sorry if i have babbled on, but im so upset. thanks for reading. i dont want him to quit. :frown:

charlotte x

It sounds like he doesn't cope with change well, tell him to stay a few more weeks and if he still can't adjust then he can leave.

Reply 16

The_Bear

13

3232

Liar.

My mother said I never cried as a child, I just threw the most bastardly tantrums :smile:

Nothings changed.

Reply 17

*titanium*

12

Fleece

How the hell can he hate his course when he's still in Freshers Week?

Thas the first thing that came to my mind aswell, personaly i am starting to get woried about all the maths that there will be in my course, but im still very happy i chose it, i was aware that engineering consisted of lots of maths :p:

I dont think you should dump him for crying! Like you said its once in 2 years, its not like theres something wrong with him because of that.

Loads of people on this forum, are getting upset over freshers week, i spoke to a freind who moved to university today. She told me that shes in shock because its like 'omg im at uni!' she said she hasnt really spoken to many people yet because they are either with family or have buggered off to go shopping, so she was on msn and seemed quit lonely.

I think you should just leave him to get on by himself, if he phones you really upset then comfort him, but dont phone up to check that hes ok. unless he decides he wants to quit and then you should probably intervene and convince him to at least wait and see what the course is like, otherwise just let him get on with it, hes not exactly the first person to get upset. Who knows maybe ill be crying during freshers week! One week to go and im still feelng fairly calm about it.

Reply 18

Becca28

1

i cried my entire first day at uni this year, and it was my second year lol (tho different uni), some people just take a while to adapt to change, tell him to give it a week or so till classes start and he can settle into a routine before he makes any big decisions about whether to give up or not

Reply 19

Jenii

15

I can't believe anyone is suggesting you should dump your boyfriend of two years for crying :eek:

I moved away from my boyfriend to a new school (and I was a new country, so we couldn't exactly see each other often) and i absolutely hated it for almost a whole year but now I love it. Tell him to stick it out, at least everyone else is in the same position as him being new and living in dodgy accomodation.

boyfriend in tears

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