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    HELP HELP HELP....ok i can't even begin to feel how AWFUL i feel... ok, here goes.. im trying to make sense of this and put this all into words.. ok basically, I had the BEST first term of uni.. it was so much fun.. i was doing so well at my course, made some amazing friends, i honestly was having the time of my life...then i came back after the xmas holidays which were also amazing, i was so happy with my life.. + it was time to sort out accommodation for the second year.. + for some reason i let a whole load of trivial relationship problems get to me.. i then went totally off the rails...i started phoning my parents telling them i hated it + then because i got severely depressed at boarding school when i was 16 my parents told me to go to the doctor...so at the same time i tried to hide it from my friends... and ahhh.. it was a total nightmare. all my energy went into worrying about who 'knew' i was depressed.. i then totally withdrew from everything + started apologising to people for being a bad friend...it was totally ridiculous...then i went home for 3 weeks and got into the pattern of running away every time something bad went wrong.. it's like it was my aim to run away....i kept running away at every opportunity at university.. in the end i ended up deferring a year...... but now im REGRETTING IT SO MUCH.. I CAN'T THINK OF ANYTHING ELSE.. I HAVE A FRESH START IN SEPTEMBER..I'M GOING BACK TO THE SAME UNI... BUT HONESTLY I THINK I'M NEVER GOING TO BE THE SAME AGAIN.. MY HEAD IS POUNDING WITH NEGATIVE THOUGHTS... I'VE CONVINCED MYSELF THERE'S SOMETHING SERIOUSLY WRONG WITH ME, when there never was....+ honestly i can't face anyone anymore.. im totally living in the past + remembering all the good things about uni...+ im actually worried about the permenant damage im doing to myself.. instead of using this time practically im sitting at home dwelling on everything that's happened and depression is now my way of life.. i can't focus on ANYTHING except myself.. and im so worried.. i honestly am.. i've been like this for 4 months now and im so worried...all i want to do is sit at home and regret stuff and blame myself.....i used to be so outgoing and social... and now im on the point of feeling suicidal which is really scaring me. my parents are desperately trying to look for positive signs in me but i can't explain the mental torture im going through.. it's awful... i can't bear it anymore. PLEASE PLEASE can someone suggest something useful + practical i can do until september where im out meeting people... and i kinda want to get away from home because sitting here feeling depressed isn't getting me anywhere... im so low though im not sure what i can handle.. please please help me.. any advice would be so grateful!!! xx
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    hey, i'm so sorry that you feel depressed. i used to have clinical depression and at the time it felt like the world was black hole and i'd never get out of it.

    i'd definately recommend you to try and get a job, do something you're interested in if possible, but even if you can't find something you particularly fancy just getting out and working amongst people will help you get back into socialising and also kill some time. you'll also get lots of money which you'll be really glad of when you're back at uni

    hope you're okay, try not to get too stressed. only 5 months to go now till uni, it'll fly by i assure you!
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    yeah, I'm sorry to hear you're so down.
    What I think might be a good idea is maybe getting a busy customer service job (e.g. bar work, sales assistant etc.). This will stop you even having time for negative thoughts and then hopefully time will heal things, positive feedback from customers will boost your confidence/and self esteem, and you'll also have some money to spend on stuff you want and you can maybe save a little for uni, aswell.

    It sounds to me that you're being tortured by negative imagination. All suffering is in the mind and is but a pale shadow. Examine how your thoughts arise, and whence they came. Understand that your feelings respond to the state of your mind: transform your mind and your entire being will be transfigured.
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    (Original post by TELEPATHICTUBBY)
    yeah, I'm sorry to hear you're so down.
    What I think might be a good idea is maybe getting a busy customer service job (e.g. bar work, sales assistant etc.). This will stop you even having time for negative thoughts and then hopefully time will heal things, positive feedback from customers will boost your confidence/and self esteem, and you'll also have some money to spend on stuff you want and you can maybe save a little for uni, aswell.
    As if...!
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    (Original post by blissy)
    As if...!
    Hehe that made me laugh! It's all true though-they're getting meaner and meaner especially the ones I get-probably the nastiest bunch in the UK.
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    (Original post by TELEPATHICTUBBY)
    yeah, I'm sorry to hear you're so down.
    What I think might be a good idea is maybe getting a busy customer service job (e.g. bar work, sales assistant etc.). This will stop you even having time for negative thoughts and then hopefully time will heal things, positive feedback from customers will boost your confidence/and self esteem, and you'll also have some money to spend on stuff you want and you can maybe save a little for uni, aswell.
    argh, nightmare jobs for depressives... you need somehting mundane and routine where you dont have people shouting and complaining at you all day (eek, not sales assistant!). perhaps think about voluntary work as noone will stress at you about targets/profit margins/etc and you can do some genuinely worthwhile stuff before uni starts! i have clinical depression - spent last year working in sales and it was hell, so much pressure it was unbearable so i just quit with no notice. i got the occasional good customer who really appreciated what youd done and bought be choccies and stuff, but otherwise they were all evil. i was too scared to get a job after that, blew my confidence. i now work a few mornings a week in an office doing routine stuff - ideal - keeps me occupied and all those repetitive tasks just soothe your mind .
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    something comforting about repetitive tasks, its taken me 19 years to appreciate the value of routine in a humans life, well at least in my life. Whether its in the short term (filing etc.), or getting into a routine of seeing the same friends or going to the same places at e weekend, it is definitely a comfortable, if risk-free way of living life
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    natalia, think I spoke to you a couple of weeks ago, maybe you were under a different username. Im so sad to hear that you're still feeling the same way, going through a little something myself at the moment, too complicated and uninteresting to get into now though.....

    Please get out of the house. It will be hard to do, and you may feel like crying all the time your out the door, but it will get better. Volunteer at an Oxfam or Scope shop, that could be just the kind of thing you need. I think its actually a positive thing that you know that these negative thoughts are self-inflicted, and that they have no basis in reality, you know they can be beaten. Talk to your parents as well, it will help both of you, as I can guaranteee they are going through it with you, even if they seem a bit distant at the moment, involve them. If you feel too bad, phone samaritans, you can even pm me if you want . Dont know if youve been through the antidepressant route, but if your at the stage you seem to be, it may be something you would to talk over with your parents
    x
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    Hi natalia,

    I'm sorry to hear about your situation. I've heard about similar stories from people I know involved in university life about students, some of whom are exceptionally bright, who get very close to breaking point (and in a few tragic cases end up killing themselves). Very often these are due to a combination of an intense workload and a stressful non-academic life (this could be due to domestic problems at home, a bad relationship or a fall-out with friends to name a few). Because a good student needs to have as little distractions as possible - all of their concentration has to go into the work - even something like a pen tapping can have major consequences for a student's mental well-being. If the 'background stress' can be reduced, then that person's enjoyment of university life will flourish.

    Anyways, here are my suggestions for the summer:

    1. Take a break: This should be following your idea of relaxation, and should be away from both home and your university. Whether this is by yourself in a holiday cottage in the Peak District, or with some close friends in Ibiza depends entirely on your preferences, but it should be somewhere where you know you won't have to worry about anything at all for the next week or so.

    2. Get a job: As soon as this is over send out a bunch of CVs to the employers of a few jobs you fancy. You could go down the route of either suggestions so far - a job working with the public is good because you could have a really bad day where you get a load of abuse off the customers and go home feeling like crap, and then the next day turns out brilliantly and you realise just how trivial things like this really are! (Of course, bar work has the added bonus of having total power over customers - if they are rude you can pretend you haven't seen them and serve someone else first :cool: - with shop assistant jobs they usually have 'The customer is always right' policies, which at times, really irritates me.) Voluntary work is also good, as you can sleep sound knowing that you're helping a worthwhile cause. I would advise against a quiet library job or something as it draws no real valuable life lessons and kinda drops you back in the deep end when uni starts again.

    3. Reduce the extra stress When you go back in September, hopefully having learnt that (along with other things) some people can be right ******s (and there isn't much anyone can do to change it), but the majority are nice. Don't let this section of the population get to you (and take refuge in the likelihood that people like this tend to end up without proper friends anyway). Also, take steps to stop other disturbances - pick studying times when you know you will not be majorly disturbed for the next hour or so, and if disturbances do arise, just take a break. Allow leeway by not leaving work until a few days before the deadline, and try to ignore minor disturbances like cars going past while you're working (for example). Most importantly, however low you are feeling never ever ever ever EVER contemplate suicide. Nothing is ever that serious. If you get to the stage where you're falling behind in uni, friends are being *****es and a relationship is going through a bad patch for example, it is not the end of the world. More likely than not, within a few months you'll have put your mind into the studying and all work will be up to date, you'll have forgotton what the whole argument was about, and you'll have finished with whoever it was you were seeing and found someone better (I'm just saying). If things don't work out and you can't finish uni, again it isn't the end of the world. You can still have a good life without a degree, and even if you ended up working in Tesco all your life (apologies to any offended Tesco workers), you will still have the freedom to enjoy life. On top of that, suicide is a pretty selfish thing to do. Parents, friends, neighbours, university staff and many others will be deeply affected by this when in all probability the reason why some do it is because they think that no-one does care about them. I'm not criticising you - indeed I can understand how you may be feeling - but I'm just mentioning the far-reaching consequences that many who take the 'easy way out' overlook.

    I'm sorry to have ended on a harsh note. I'm sure that this is just a temporary thing and that you'll end up with a good degree at the end of it, and are able to look back if times get bad and say, "Well, I had it pretty rough back then and manged to overcome it - what's to stop me doing the same now?" Also I've assumed quite a lot as well and may have misread your situation, but many students are in a similar boat and from what I've heard this is the main cause of their depression. I'd like to think that at least part of what I've said has helped in some way.

    Last of all, good luck - you'll do fine
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    Sorry that you're depressed. How about a summer volunteer thing in another country or something? Something completely different in a new place with new people to meet and the added bonus of knowing you're helping people.

    But asides from what you're going to do till university start... Have you thought about going to a psychiatrist (or however you spell it) or ringing up a help line - dunno they might have some good suggestions on how to get out of the depression you're under? Another thing is are you taking any drugs for it? My mum has manic depression and has to take pills and you can really tell if she forgets to take one. Could help - might not - whos know, but worth checking out with a GP or soemthing.

    And lastly, by writing this message down you are making a good step. So many people become depressed and then just dwell on how life is **** and how depressed they are. Whereas you have realised you're depressed and want to make a step to get out of it. Think to yourself positive thoughts and make a conscience decision that you will not be depressed any more and you will enjoy the rest of the summer and then go off to university and have a fantastic 3 years with wonderful people you'll meet. Dont dwell on the past. yes you dropped out and were depressed for a while but that was then!

    I hope you soon feel completely happy! Good luck with finding something exciting to do this summer and enjoy uni!

    o and get good lighting in the house and pray for the weather to go sunny again. - sun instantainiously makes me feel like im in heaven. - oooo or splash out and go to the Carabean!
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    There was an interesting article in the Guardian today about dealing with depression - you can probably read it on the website. The jist of it was that you make up a timetable of activities for the day so that you dont sit around being introspective and miserable, it doesnt matter if they are boring mundane things (like cleaning !! ). Getting a job would be a good idea but I think going to work in another country is quite dangerous when you are depressed, you might need the support of family and friends!
 
 
 
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