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Confused, insecure and scared

Ive just started uni and although im proud of being able to make friend etc, im scared about the future. I have never been to a club before, so if i end up being invited out i will be really in-experienced, and im too scared to dance.

I have so far hidden away the fact that im insecure with myself and have problems with shyness, confidence and general social skills. ive kind of got in with a loud crowd but i cant see these people being long term friends.

I am scared i will crack under the pressure to act like i have no problems in my life, i keep hiding it as best i can, but i might break down at any minute.

Anyone got any advice on how i can cope and have a good experience of uni?

Reply 1

person 34

I very much doubt you're the only one feeling like this. I have older friends, who like you have just set off to uni, and they are scared that their shy, insecure side is going to emerge unexpectantly and they're going to be some sort of outcast.

Uni can only do good things for you, it is about experience and I'm guessing 90% of your growing up goes on there.

About clubbing, well what can I say? you don't have to dance, and with a few drinks down you and everyone else for that matter) really no one will care. If you can find people to talk to quite soon, then you'll be able to open up to them and get things off your chest. If you don't find these people soon, then don't worry, concntrate on having a good time, and remmeber uni is all about having fun, and you can only do that if you make yourself get involved, which you've made a good start of going with the "loud crowd".

Be prepared for a night out, but whatever you do, just try and relax, it will help immensley!

Good luck :smile:

Reply 2

Danny the Geezer

I was being hugely uncharacteristic for the first few days (alcohol helps and hinders this problem) but I am desperate to redeem myself and show people I am not an eccentric.

Reply 3

Spig

why do you feel you need to be part of the 'loud' crowd if it isn't really you?
you'll meet people you can really feel close to if you reflect your true personality.

Reply 4

Danny the Geezer

Spig

why do you feel you need to be part of the 'loud' crowd if it isn't really you?
you'll meet people you can really feel close to if you reflect your true personality.

I am loud, but tbh naive and it's becoming obvious when I've had a beer.

See, because I am an English student I can't help converging with people's dialects etc. and that makes me appear more amiable. + alcohol, + not being part of a university-orientated clique at home + feeling insecure and nervous + trying too hard + (I'll think of something).