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Love on the internet- gender question

Since we've entered the internet age, it's become fairly commonplace to start a relationship online with somebody you've never met. I was wondering, though, what it would mean if a guy fell in love with somebody professing to be a girl, and found out later that he'd fallen in love with a guy. I mean, if the guy lied about just that one thing (and I know it's a pretty major thing to lie about), and didn't hide his personality or anything.

What about if a girl who thought she was heterosexual fell for somebody she thought was a girl? If she started to explore her sexuality because of that, and decided she was bisexual based on this relationship, would the later discovery that she'd really fallen for a guy invalidate that?

(And yes, this sort of thing did happen to me, but I'm perfectly happy with my bisexuality. I'm just curious about what others think of the situation, more than anything.)

Reply 1

lolly83

I could never trust anybody that lied to me about something so major.
and I am bi so that's not the issue at all.

Reply 2

Spig

well....the guy wouldn't have fallen in love with a guy. he would have fallen in love with a faux female. there is no way the ''girl'' wouldn't have hidden his personality in some way because he would have given false information to appear female.

as for the bisexual thing- no it wouldn't invalidate it because if the girl had realised she had sexual feelings for women in general, finding out this person she thought was a girl was actually a man wouldn't change the sexual attraction she has for other females. falling in love with a ''girl'' over the internet didn't make her bisexual, rather it gave her the impetus to explore feelings which were already latent within her.

plus, i really don't get how people can develop sexual feelings for others over the net. i get how they can develop affection, but i think a large part of sexuality is the chemistry you feel when in another's company

Reply 3

person 34

9

I don't believe in internet love, and if you do, then you're a freak. I'm sorry that's so harsh, but you can't fall in love with typed words alone. There are so many more important features to look for in a relationship.

Reply 4

Mr.God

7

34 person

I don't believe in internet love, and if you do, then you're a freak. I'm sorry that's so harsh, but you can't fall in love with typed words alone. There are so many more important features to look for in a relationship.

QFMFT

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

OP

34 person

I don't believe in internet love, and if you do, then you're a freak. I'm sorry that's so harsh, but you can't fall in love with typed words alone. There are so many more important features to look for in a relationship.

Um, okay.

I happen to think it's perfectly possible- I've never actually fallen in love over the internet, though I have developed a few pretty big crushes, but my best friend lives in California and we know each other inside out from typed words alone.

Reply 6

person 34

9

Anonymous

Um, okay.

I happen to think it's perfectly possible- I've never actually fallen in love over the internet, though I have developed a few pretty big crushes, but my best friend lives in California and we know each other inside out from typed words alone.

well you obviously do think you're a freak because you wouldn't have posted anon, but you're at the first stage of recovery, you recognise your problem!

Reply 7

person 34

9

Mr.God

QFMFT

I understand not.

Reply 8

Chumbaniya

17

In a relationship you have over the internet, you can only know a person by the image they portray of themselves, but really how different is this to real life? It is only physical details that can be verified more easily in person; someone can still tell significant lies in person, even if they can't disguise their gender.

Reply 9

--

3

34 person

I understand not.

Its Quoted For Mother****ing Truth. He should really have an explanation of it in his sig, he gets asked so much.

Oh and OP, you're mental, you cant live your life on the internet.

Reply 10

Anonymous #1

OP

darkfairy753

I think the internet is less reliable in showing what a person is truly like. In real life there are more than physical differences. You have to be a damn good actor to have a conversation with someone for hours and have them not find out what you're really like, whereas on the internet, you just can type, pause, change what you were going to say before pressing the enter button. It's true someone can lie in person as well as people on the internet, but surely it is much easier to lie online.

I don't know; there are a lot of aspects of my personality that my RL friends just don't get to see, but that I'll happily display online, and vice versa. You might not be able to hide your whole personality in an hour-long conversation with somebody IRL, but you might well be able to hide a large part of it.

Reply 11

Sanity Panda

Introverted people might speak more on the internet than they really do in real life and other minor things like that. Thats true but what I don't get is why people these days keep on getting the idea that we're definantly going to lie to each other.
If they lied they're not really that great as a friend or partner imo. I think if you were in a relationship you'd probably want them to know about your bad points beforehand.

Yeah Real life has advantages over the internet in getting to know someone i.e. actions, habits and more
However the internet can sometimes also provide a more insightful view into someone. After all the only thing you've got between the two of you is communication and nothing else. Theres no "Oh lets go clubbing together."

I'd agree with the others though you can't really say your in love though cause you need the whole picture which the internet can't provide. However it can provide affection and some really great friendships.
You hang out with people you like on the internet by choosing to talk with them, in real life your jumbled with people you might not like so much but you see them so often you just naturally chat to them.

Reply 12

Mr.God

7

Anonymous

Um, okay.

I happen to think it's perfectly possible- I've never actually fallen in love over the internet, though I have developed a few pretty big crushes, but my best friend lives in California and we know each other inside out from typed words alone.

Learn to socialise in the real world.

Kthxbye.

Reply 13

BluesMan

13

You cannot fall in love with anyone purely on the internet. You can fall in love with people you know well in real life by chattin to them on the internet, but its so different to the real life.

Are you going to live behind a wall of technology your whole life? Your safe in your own house, talking using text. Far easier to say anything you want. Thats why people dump each other through texting. Hows a decent relationship going to work when you finally meet each other?

Reply 14

Phillip

2

Mr.God please , calm yourself maaaaaaaaan

It is certainly possible to like someone over the internet but you would need to meet them to call them an actual friend.
And people can type anything.

Reply 15

doll-heart

darkfairy753

I don't believe you can "fall in love" with someone just by talking to them online, you would need to meet up face to face before that could happen I think.

:dito:

Love on the internet- gender question

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