Drinking with your partner
I drink pretty regularly with my long term gf, particularly at weekends. Often we have fun but increasingly frequently it leads to alcohol promoted misunderstandings and even arguments. It's a real double edged sword. I would like to get back to the early days of our relationship when we always had fun. Is this a common problem? Perhaps it's best to give up drinking totally and focus on other things.
I have the same issue with my girlfriend.
When it got bad we sat down and discussed why it is that after we have a few drinks we have massive arguments and get really upset with each other. The conversation didn't lead to much reasoning although it lasted a long time. We kind of left it with the thought that we should avoid drinking together. We still drink but rarely together and because we have talked about the problem, we are cautious of what we say when we're drunk/tipsy.
I think that's the best solution, to safeguard against it happening otherwise, something could slip off the tongue, cause permanent damage and those words can never be taken back. It would be sad to lose something great because of a drunk moment, you can't always 'blame it on the al-al-cohol'.
We should be careful of what we say:
― Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist
When it got bad we sat down and discussed why it is that after we have a few drinks we have massive arguments and get really upset with each other. The conversation didn't lead to much reasoning although it lasted a long time. We kind of left it with the thought that we should avoid drinking together. We still drink but rarely together and because we have talked about the problem, we are cautious of what we say when we're drunk/tipsy.
I think that's the best solution, to safeguard against it happening otherwise, something could slip off the tongue, cause permanent damage and those words can never be taken back. It would be sad to lose something great because of a drunk moment, you can't always 'blame it on the al-al-cohol'.
We should be careful of what we say:
“It's now what enters men's mouths that's evil. It's what comes out of their mouths that is.”
― Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist
I have this problem when drinking with my partner sometimes too. Most of the time we have a laugh while drinking but sometimes it does lead to arguments.
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Original post by Spock's Socks
I have this problem when drinking with my partner sometimes too. Most of the time we have a laugh while drinking but sometimes it does lead to arguments.
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Absolutely, it's a true double edged sword!
I never really drunk with my long term boyfriend in like 2 years 
we often said we should sometime, but we always had so much fun anyway that we never got around to it.
we often said we should sometime, but we always had so much fun anyway that we never got around to it.Original post by Zarek
I drink pretty regularly with my long term gf, particularly at weekends. Often we have fun but increasingly frequently it leads to alcohol promoted misunderstandings and even arguments. It's a real double edged sword. I would like to get back to the early days of our relationship when we always had fun. Is this a common problem? Perhaps it's best to give up drinking totally and focus on other things.
its fine to be an occasional drinker but do not become an alcoholic. it really damages you. stay healthy and don't abuse your body unnecessarily. you could use the money spent on alcohol saving up to buy presents for your family members every christmas. i've had friends who were in denial that they were alcohol dependent. and they still continue to drink today. they are nowhere in life and have to ask their parents for money to sustain their habit. think about what i said and think it through. drinking in moderation is fine but don't become dependent on alcohol.
Original post by Maura Kat
its fine to be an occasional drinker but do not become an alcoholic. it really damages you. stay healthy and don't abuse your body unnecessarily. you could use the money spent on alcohol saving up to buy presents for your family members every christmas. i've had friends who were in denial that they were alcohol dependent. and they still continue to drink today. they are nowhere in life and have to ask their parents for money to sustain their habit. think about what i said and think it through. drinking in moderation is fine but don't become dependent on alcohol.
Good advice..
Original post by Zarek
I drink pretty regularly with my long term gf, particularly at weekends. Often we have fun but increasingly frequently it leads to alcohol promoted misunderstandings and even arguments. It's a real double edged sword. I would like to get back to the early days of our relationship when we always had fun. Is this a common problem? Perhaps it's best to give up drinking totally and focus on other things.
I had this issue with my bf of 3 years. In the middle of our relationship, we had a rocky patch AND he was insanely jealous so would make a scene if a guy paid me attention at a bar/party, and then would take it out on me.
I was going to break up with him and he begged for me back, but it took a break for him to re-assess his behaviour when drinking. We also try not to drink before resolving any major issues, so no resentment spills over into drinkypoos.
TL;DR: Sit down and talk about it. Sort issues PRE-alcohol, not POST.
Original post by Zarek
I drink pretty regularly with my long term gf, particularly at weekends. Often we have fun but increasingly frequently it leads to alcohol promoted misunderstandings and even arguments. It's a real double edged sword. I would like to get back to the early days of our relationship when we always had fun. Is this a common problem? Perhaps it's best to give up drinking totally and focus on other things.
Sounds like the two of you have underlying issues that you may need to sort out.
Blaming the alcohol is missing the point, all it does is give you the courage to say what you want to say.
We used to go to the pub a lot where we used to live, but not to get drunk. Bow its much rarer, but we do tend to annoy each other. Apparently Im silly, and hes just plain annoying.
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Original post by cole-slaw
Sounds like the two of you have underlying issues that you may need to sort out.
Blaming the alcohol is missing the point, all it does is give you the courage to say what you want to say.
Blaming the alcohol is missing the point, all it does is give you the courage to say what you want to say.
Original post by Zarek
No underlying issues in my relationship..
So you just argue about nothing at all? Sounds legit
I drink with my long term partner occasionally and it's never really led to an argument. To be fair that's because the alcohol doesn't really seem to affect him and I'm not really an argumentative drunk, I'm more happy and giggly. I do start saying stuff I wouldn't have said if I was sober but it's generally more sentimental things than complaints. I think it's just because we're pretty chilled out people so it doesn't cause us major issues.
I've seen alcohol fueled fights kick off with loads of my friends and their boyfriends though. I think it's just a personality thing.
I've seen alcohol fueled fights kick off with loads of my friends and their boyfriends though. I think it's just a personality thing.
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