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Serious question about a relationship
First's first, I'm a regular poster on here, but I'm just using this alias because what I'm about to say is very personal to me.
There's this girl I really like. She's incredibly pretty - in fact, she's absolutely gorgeous! She has a great personality and from the little we've spoke we get on really well and I'm pretty sure something could happen.
Thing is, she has no arms and only one leg. That would be a massive problem to a lot of people, but it's not really a 'thing' in my eyes - trust me, she's stunning (at least I think so). This might seem like a completely stupid and shallow thing to say, but I'm actually quite concerned about what friends and everyone generally would think if we hit it off. I feel really bad even for thinking like this - I shouldn't care what others think, right? But I do.
I don't really know what specific piece of advice I'm looking for here, I'd just like to hear your general thoughts. This thing is driving me crazy! I'm not joking when I say I don't think I've felt this way about a girl at such an early stage! And it's only what others might think about it that's holding me back!
There's this girl I really like. She's incredibly pretty - in fact, she's absolutely gorgeous! She has a great personality and from the little we've spoke we get on really well and I'm pretty sure something could happen.
Thing is, she has no arms and only one leg. That would be a massive problem to a lot of people, but it's not really a 'thing' in my eyes - trust me, she's stunning (at least I think so). This might seem like a completely stupid and shallow thing to say, but I'm actually quite concerned about what friends and everyone generally would think if we hit it off. I feel really bad even for thinking like this - I shouldn't care what others think, right? But I do.
I don't really know what specific piece of advice I'm looking for here, I'd just like to hear your general thoughts. This thing is driving me crazy! I'm not joking when I say I don't think I've felt this way about a girl at such an early stage! And it's only what others might think about it that's holding me back!
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I can see where you are coming from with worrying about what other people think.
I think that most people worry about what others think of them at some point in their lives, and a lot of us hope that our friends will like our partners and see what we see in them.
However, at the end of the day these are your feelings and this is your life - if you like this girl as much as you say then I think you should go for it. It's easier said than done, but don't worry about what other people think!
Good luck, I hope it works out for you.
I think that most people worry about what others think of them at some point in their lives, and a lot of us hope that our friends will like our partners and see what we see in them.
However, at the end of the day these are your feelings and this is your life - if you like this girl as much as you say then I think you should go for it. It's easier said than done, but don't worry about what other people think!
Good luck, I hope it works out for you.
Wow...
To be honest I'd have the same worries. I don't think friends etc would look down on your for it, they'd probably think its incredibly noble. If they're real friends they aren't gonna rip you for it.
From the general public you might get a few stares, but gay couples have it much worse, and since you like her so much you probably wont care what people youve never met think about you.
To be honest I'd have the same worries. I don't think friends etc would look down on your for it, they'd probably think its incredibly noble. If they're real friends they aren't gonna rip you for it.
From the general public you might get a few stares, but gay couples have it much worse, and since you like her so much you probably wont care what people youve never met think about you.
Reply 4
If it's what you want, then go for it: you don't have anything to lose. If your mates rib you for it, they are nobs. Why let other people hold you back?
Reply 5
Like everyone else said; if your mates say anything then they're not real mates. You'll probably get the odd joke at first but when they realise you're serious (and if you punch them) they'll stop.
sometimes its difficult not to be shallow, but you need to ask
a) Do you really like her, or is maybe some of it guilt that someone so "stunning" could be in such an unfortunate position. Sometimes sympathy can create strange emotions (trust me on that one)
b) What/Why are you worried about what your friends/family think? I mean, what are they actually going to think of you if you start going out with her when many guys, lets be honest, may be embarrassed and avoid her? Personally when i see couples where one of them's severely disabled, i cant help but admire both of them
If you really do like her though, then just go for it, its your life and no one has any right to try and stop you or object to it just because of "how she is". If one of your m8s takes the piss then punch them squarely in the face, but i cant imagine they would
Good luck
a) Do you really like her, or is maybe some of it guilt that someone so "stunning" could be in such an unfortunate position. Sometimes sympathy can create strange emotions (trust me on that one)
b) What/Why are you worried about what your friends/family think? I mean, what are they actually going to think of you if you start going out with her when many guys, lets be honest, may be embarrassed and avoid her? Personally when i see couples where one of them's severely disabled, i cant help but admire both of them
If you really do like her though, then just go for it, its your life and no one has any right to try and stop you or object to it just because of "how she is". If one of your m8s takes the piss then punch them squarely in the face, but i cant imagine they would
Good luck
Reply 7
do it, might turn out to be the most incredible thing ever. i am in love with a girl with a physical "defect" too, but to be honest i dont even notice it. she is more beautiful for it. Think about it this way, if she did have all her limbs, do you think she would be the same person she is now? of course not, her "defects" have made her the person she is today, so embrace them
Reply 9
its a shame, this is one of the few decent posts on this forum with a lot less responses to repetitive **** like "am i a slut?"
jimsmowing
First's first, I'm a regular poster on here, but I'm just using this alias because what I'm about to say is very personal to me.
There's this girl I really like. She's incredibly pretty - in fact, she's absolutely gorgeous! She has a great personality and from the little we've spoke we get on really well and I'm pretty sure something could happen.
Thing is, she has no arms and only one leg. That would be a massive problem to a lot of people, but it's not really a 'thing' in my eyes - trust me, she's stunning (at least I think so). This might seem like a completely stupid and shallow thing to say, but I'm actually quite concerned about what friends and everyone generally would think if we hit it off. I feel really bad even for thinking like this - I shouldn't care what others think, right? But I do.
I don't really know what specific piece of advice I'm looking for here, I'd just like to hear your general thoughts. This thing is driving me crazy! I'm not joking when I say I don't think I've felt this way about a girl at such an early stage! And it's only what others might think about it that's holding me back!
There's this girl I really like. She's incredibly pretty - in fact, she's absolutely gorgeous! She has a great personality and from the little we've spoke we get on really well and I'm pretty sure something could happen.
Thing is, she has no arms and only one leg. That would be a massive problem to a lot of people, but it's not really a 'thing' in my eyes - trust me, she's stunning (at least I think so). This might seem like a completely stupid and shallow thing to say, but I'm actually quite concerned about what friends and everyone generally would think if we hit it off. I feel really bad even for thinking like this - I shouldn't care what others think, right? But I do.
I don't really know what specific piece of advice I'm looking for here, I'd just like to hear your general thoughts. This thing is driving me crazy! I'm not joking when I say I don't think I've felt this way about a girl at such an early stage! And it's only what others might think about it that's holding me back!
I can tell you really like her, so go for it before somebody else does!, dont let worries that havent materialised stop you from going out with her, they may approve and if not forget about them and concentrate on the lady, good luck.
think about how you feel...if you care for her then both of you will grow immensly....go on...open your heart and show how much you care, you'll never regret it..
reminds me of the song...
You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up... To more than I can be.
Go for it...and good luck )
reminds me of the song...
You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up... To more than I can be.
Go for it...and good luck
)Reply 12
jimsmowing
First's first, I'm a regular poster on here, but I'm just using this alias because what I'm about to say is very personal to me.
There's this girl I really like. She's incredibly pretty - in fact, she's absolutely gorgeous! She has a great personality and from the little we've spoke we get on really well and I'm pretty sure something could happen.
Thing is, she has no arms and only one leg. That would be a massive problem to a lot of people, but it's not really a 'thing' in my eyes - trust me, she's stunning (at least I think so). This might seem like a completely stupid and shallow thing to say, but I'm actually quite concerned about what friends and everyone generally would think if we hit it off. I feel really bad even for thinking like this - I shouldn't care what others think, right? But I do.
I don't really know what specific piece of advice I'm looking for here, I'd just like to hear your general thoughts. This thing is driving me crazy! I'm not joking when I say I don't think I've felt this way about a girl at such an early stage! And it's only what others might think about it that's holding me back!
There's this girl I really like. She's incredibly pretty - in fact, she's absolutely gorgeous! She has a great personality and from the little we've spoke we get on really well and I'm pretty sure something could happen.
Thing is, she has no arms and only one leg. That would be a massive problem to a lot of people, but it's not really a 'thing' in my eyes - trust me, she's stunning (at least I think so). This might seem like a completely stupid and shallow thing to say, but I'm actually quite concerned about what friends and everyone generally would think if we hit it off. I feel really bad even for thinking like this - I shouldn't care what others think, right? But I do.
I don't really know what specific piece of advice I'm looking for here, I'd just like to hear your general thoughts. This thing is driving me crazy! I'm not joking when I say I don't think I've felt this way about a girl at such an early stage! And it's only what others might think about it that's holding me back!
I cant think of any words apart from YOU'RE an INCREDIBLE guy!! I have no doubt people wouldn't give you funny looks or thoughts, but who cares as long as you're happy? Good luck.
regards
WLT.
Reply 13
sod what everyone else thinks mate, if you like her then go for it
Reply 14
Go for it, if you don't chances are you'll only regret having let something so petty hold you back.
Lex
Lex
Think of it as whats going to make you and her happy. Will it be by being together, or will it be by not being together and miserable. Aat the end of the day most people you see out and about on the street you will never even talk to, so who cares if you maybe get one or two "glances" or whatever from people who are probalby just jealous or insecure about their own problems anyway. You sound like a good guy anyway so your family and friends will probably admire you for it, as will the majority of people, just dont let those 1 in 100 idiots put you off what could be something really nice and special.
I think you'll have to accept that obviously it would be difficult. Not only in terms of what you'd have to deal with from other people, but how you could lead your lives - it would be a huge sacrifice and you need to know whether she is worth it. Does she have any prosthetic limbs? How does she get about? How independent is she? You need to think carefully about how your life with her would be, and if you know that that's the best possible arrangement for you, then by all means go for it. Just be aware of the problems.
Reply 17
Adhsur
I think you'll have to accept that obviously it would be difficult. Not only in terms of what you'd have to deal with from other people, but how you could lead your lives - it would be a huge sacrifice and you need to know whether she is worth it. Does she have any prosthetic limbs? How does she get about? How independent is she? You need to think carefully about how your life with her would be, and if you know that that's the best possible arrangement for you, then by all means go for it. Just be aware of the problems.
Thanks for your thoughts folks. Still thinking everything over.
As I said - her disability isn't really a 'thing' for me at all. She can do virtually everything a normal girl can, but just with her foot instead (she even rides horses!). The only thing she can't do is running (and she'll admit that she can be pretty crappy at fixing her own hair, lol). She uses a wheelchair to get around but she's very independent. She seems the most incredibly happy, confident, carefree person in the world. She never really seems down or depressed or feels that the world owes her anything (i know for sure I'd feel that way!). To be honest, I completely forget that she's at all 'different' when we talk!
Like I say, it's not a 'thing' at all for me. Except to say that I can be a fairly conscious guy at times, and the idea of lots of stares is something that weighs heavily on my mind (and I know it really shouldn't!). But on the other hand, she's truly stunning (if almost any guy was to see a faceshot of her they'd think 'wow'), and we seem to connect really well.
Still thinking everything over.
Reply 19
jimsmowing
Except to say that I can be a fairly conscious guy at times, and the idea of lots of stares is something that weighs heavily on my mind.
This is a choice. you are choosing to be conscious. so choose not to. what a shame it would be if you potentially lost a wife due to this. live your life by instinct. try not to think too much. just do.
From what it sounds like you care alot about her. and mate, we get that she's "stunning", which to be honest is a bit beside the point lol.
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