Join in on our 'Guess the Rep' Competition! >>

Is this good or bad?

I made this topic yesterday, but I think the board ate it or something. Anyway, I've been chatting with this girl online for a while, and I like her, so I sent her an e-mail asking if she'd like to meet some time. Her response:

"Hey.

It's been kind of hard to structure a reply to this. First of all, I thought it was brave of you to write it to me and took guts to actually send it.

I think you're a great person, I just have some personal issues. I'm not very confident, for one, and it's hard to me to meet people from the net because I have like low self-esteem and I really don't think highly of myself. I'm not happy with my appearance or anything. I hate to do that cliche of "it's not you, it's me" but I think I am, it feels weird for people having crushes on me at like say college (as a people do) as I find it really alien as I'm like "Why would anyone be interested in me?", so it's really strange.

That's depressing but that's how it is, and I'm trying to be as honest as possible.

I was aware over the last couple of months that you seemed to like me, and I'm cool with that. It's very flattering.

You've put up with me complaining and whining about things, and been very nice about everything, even when you're probably rolling your eyes at some of the stuff. lol. I think you've been a really good friend to me and I really enjoy talking to you.

But I'm not ruling out meeting you in the future, as I'd love to meet everyone I've struck up these great friendships with. I just don't think I have the confidence right now, when I get a Janet Jackson six-pack, then I'll happily meet you, lol. I hope this doesn't cause our friendship to be awkward now either, as I don't think it's a big deal. That's easy for me to say though.

Anyway, sorry if this was like a bit messy and long and I hope to talk to you soon"

My friends think it's a flat-out rejection. I know that she's had these problems and isn't lying about them, but I dunno. It's eating at me in a way, and I don't want it to hinder any relationships I might form at University, as I'll be thinking of her.

Thanks :smile:

Scroll to see replies

Reply 1

Shreerac1

The phrases shes used such as "really good friend" and "great friendships" would lead me to believe she just wants to be friends. She said she would like to "meet" you, but she also says she'd love to meet everyone shes made friends with.. not quite sure what all that means.

So tbh it doesn't look to me like she is really that interested. Seems pretty harsh that she hasn't given you a definative answer.

Reply 2

Eddy123

She's not interested in you.

You've put up with me complaining and whining about things, and been very nice about everything

This is what her girl friends are for, not you. By listening to all her problems and helping her sort them out you've become her therapist, not the guy she fantasises about at night.

Reply 3

Yep, pretty much all the posts yesterday told you she rejected you. Sorry mate, she's just not interested. :smile:

Reply 4

Llama Face!

3232

Yep, pretty much all the posts yesterday told you she rejected you. Sorry mate, she's just not interested. :smile:

now hang on, i don't think it's entirely that. Clearly she has real insecurities and she's probably worried if you meet up, you'll be disappointed and that'll ruin the friendship or that you have these expectations of her and she'll just disappoint you. You clearly seem to like her, so if you can reassure her that this is not the case, maybe she could go for it. If not, there isn't much point waiting around for her, because it could be an age until she becomes more comfortable with herself, and if she does, you probably won't be the first person she thinks of to start seeing, as an internet relationsip thing is much harder than a normal one. If it's not now, then i imagine it'll just be too hard in the future. Obviously keep talking to her as a friend, but don't bother waiting around for anything else.

Reply 5

shaneo632

Damn. Bah well, at least I went and tried I guess.

Anyone else?

Reply 6

Adhsur

I think she is interested but needs more time to get to know you, and more time to work out how she feels and how important you are to her. Be as good friends as you can with her for now and just see how it goes. She hasn't ruled you out.

Also, it's interesting how she mentioned that a couple of people at college fancy her - subconscious way of trying to say she's actually desirable so you shouldn't give up completely? *shrug*

Reply 7

*titanium*

ok, listen shes just 'beating round the bush' thats just girl talk.

Here it is translated in to guy talk

'thank you for boosting my ego but i wouldnt be seen dead with you'

Reply 8

username47781

It suggests she is not ready for a committed relationship just yet.

Reply 9

matt@internet

shaneo632

when I get a Janet Jackson six-pack, then I'll happily meet you, lol.

A) I didn't know Janet Jackson had a six-pack and B)Uurrggh

Reply 10

jumpshiftbite

Actually, from a girl's point of view, I think she sounds pretty genuine.
I know what she means about worrying whether she'd live up to expectations - I'd say it honestly is hard to overcome those kind of feelings and decide to meet up someone, who expects you to be great.

However, the fact that she says your attention has been "flattering" and then nothing more on the subject made me think she doesn't want you as more than a friend, sorry.

She's taken the time to reply properly to you - she sounds like a good friend.
I'd give it a long time before asking to meet her again if you still wanted to - I don't think she'll change her mind in the near future.

Reply 11

shaneo632

Yeah, I'll probably give it quite a while.

Reply 12

TrentEnd

To me, it doesn't sound like she wants a relationship or anything, although I might be wrong of course, but she obviously values your friendship. I dont think she's just fobbing you off with an excuse, it seems pretty genuine. Just be there for her when she needs you, carry on being friends and who knows where it'll lead? Good luck :smile:

Reply 13

shaneo632

Ok, thanks for the replies. Sorry for the mass bumping, but I feel like maybe I missed a lot of replies when my other topic got eaten, and I'd just like to see if anyone else has a view on this?

Cheers.

Reply 14

Sanity Panda

Well if your really that curious. You could just be blunt and ask whether it means anything in her post.

Reply 15

pumpkin7

omg how DARE you post my email to you on a forum.

Reply 16

BlackHawk

Eddy123

She's not interested in you.

This is what her girl friends are for, not you. By listening to all her problems and helping her sort them out you've become her therapist, not the guy she fantasises about at night.