Flirting with a girl in the friendzone Watch

Anonymous #1
#41
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#41
(Original post by reen92)
To.be honest leave her you will find better. If u teXT her having thanks giving and she doesn't reply then that's all u need to know. Is this your first crush?

Okay yeah. I feel sad, feel completely played. This girl just talks to me when she wants some attention then?

I'll text her, but maybe I should leave it and wait for something else. She mentioned she was packing and visiting her parents back home in about a fortnight. Should I text before then?
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Anonymous #1
#42
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#42
(Original post by Foo.mp3)
Ask yourself, if you had a friend who was way cooler/more popular than you, whom you showed all the texts you've been sending etc, what would their reaction be? Then allow that 'friend' to be your inner voice. Laugh at yourself and tell yourself to snap out of it. She may be a great girl, you may one day have a great connection, but right now, she's just a pal, and one of many. More importantly, she's not a realistic dating prospect, so you should be focused on those. Firmly place her in the friendzone. If it helps, tell her this too
Probably that I should have upped the tone. Once she told me she had burnt her finger and was blowing air on it. I really wish i had told her to suck it. But I'm worried that if I'm too forward, she will break off contact completely. I think we had a great connection, but right now she is a pal who used to call me a lot, and now is not so much.

If I called her my friend in text, would that friendzone her? Would it keep the prospect of getting together for a night when she visits open? Would she feel the need to be more than a friend if i called her that?

(Original post by Foo.mp3)
I can't make that call without knowing the whole context/detail of your exchanges, and don't have the time/inclination to go into that. Use your judgement
Okay,when I give her a compliment, she goes, if only others felt the same. Or else, you're the sweetest.

(Original post by Foo.mp3)
You should send the 1st message as soon as you have the number and feel like it. Simple as that
Yeah okay. Thing is I feel like texting a few of these girls often. I hold myself till the weekend, but somehow they keep asking me how I am, I want to just get them to talk about them and play on their words.

(Original post by Foo.mp3)
Sure Merry Christmas can't hurt, but not x-mas + NY! If she doesn't say anything at NY then wait until the next day or so and then maybe ask her how hers was. Remember to just read the situation as you would someone else's situation, dispassionately, and only do what seems both comfortable and reasonable to you
Okay, so don't message at 2 am in the morning on new years? Should I wait till Jan 4th?

In this case, should I ask her what her plans are or anything like that?

Bro, I don't want her to hold me back, but I want to keep the let's bang option open or at least want a hot friend to keep in touch with. However, feel like we have moved to just friends. Any way to reverse?

If she doesn't initiate, should I just (as painful as it is), not message her? Won't that mean she won't keep in touch?
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reen92
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#43
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#43
(Original post by Anonymous)
Okay yeah. I feel sad, feel completely played. This girl just talks to me when she wants some attention then?

I'll text her, but maybe I should leave it and wait for something else. She mentioned she was packing and visiting her parents back home in about a fortnight. Should I text before then?
A lot of people r telling you the same thing to let it go. No I wouldn't bother texting but from the sounds of it you will. I think only when u realise it for yourself you will.think y was I wasting my time
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Anonymous #1
#44
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(Original post by reen92)
To.be honest leave her you will find better. If u teXT her having thanks giving and she doesn't reply then that's all u need to know. Is this your first crush?
It's not my first ever crush in life, but my 2nd from uni.

Unfortunately, by the time I met her properly when we started working, she was moving abroad. So I didn't ask her out. Well... I did try, I asked her whether she would like company one night, she said yes, then she ended up having to stay at work, she said it's all right I'll see you at my leaving drinks. But I had other plans on the weekend and was irritated by the flakiness, so stuck to my original plans (at another town).

When she moved abroad, she IMed me at work every day. I recently got her number (whatsapp).

I think I find her hot and exciting because she is a wild girl.
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Anonymous #1
#45
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#45
(Original post by reen92)
A lot of people r telling you the same thing to let it go. No I wouldn't bother texting but from the sounds of it you will. I think only when u realise it for yourself you will.think y was I wasting my time
Yeah I have been thinking last 2 weeks why am I wasting time. If she was a true friend, she would msg me. I have other girls who do this.

Trouble is I kinda fancy this one and am worried that if I don't msg her, she will just not contact me ever, even months later.

Should I just let go and hope one day I meet a hot girl again? Thing is atm, I am so busy with work and there are not many girls my age whom I meet.
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Anonymous #1
#46
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#46
(Original post by Foo.mp3)
Firmly place her in the friendzone. If it helps, tell her this too
Also, how to do this? Do I say I miss your jokes buddy?
How do you place her in the friendzone and make her want to work to get out of it into the desired category?
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Anonymous #1
#47
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#47
(Original post by reen92)
A lot of people r telling you the same thing to let it go. No I wouldn't bother texting but from the sounds of it you will. I think only when u realise it for yourself you will.think y was I wasting my time
It's not my first ever crush in life, but my 2nd from uni.

Unfortunately, by the time I met her properly when we started working, she was moving abroad. So I didn't ask her out. Well... I did try, I asked her whether she would like company one night, she said yes, then she ended up having to stay at work, she said it's all right I'll see you at my leaving drinks. But I had other plans on the weekend and was irritated by the flakiness, so stuck to my original plans (at another town).

When she moved abroad, she IMed me at work every day. I recently got her number (whatsapp).

I think I find her hot and exciting because she is a wild girl.

Should I not try and keep in touch with her then?
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reen92
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#48
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#48
(Original post by Anonymous)
It's not my first ever crush in life, but my 2nd from uni.

Unfortunately, by the time I met her properly when we started working, she was moving abroad. So I didn't ask her out. Well... I did try, I asked her whether she would like company one night, she said yes, then she ended up having to stay at work, she said it's all right I'll see you at my leaving drinks. But I had other plans on the weekend and was irritated by the flakiness, so stuck to my original plans (at another town).

When she moved abroad, she IMed me at work every day. I recently got her number (whatsapp).

I think I find her hot and exciting because she is a wild girl.

Should I not try and keep in touch with her then?
No she obviously isn't trying with you. Think about this..

1. You asked her out she said yeah then made up an excuse not to come

2. She moved away didn't know anyone si decided to im you now she probably has friends hence y she isn't actively keeping in touch as much.

3. Go out with workmate and socialise at uni there are plenty of 'hot and wild' girls out there.

4.NO MORE MESSAGING. Maybe she will noticed you've stopped and message you but at this.point your predictable and she knows it.

5. Make a thread called 'meet new people' or something and talk to people on here ask if anyone Is from your area or uni
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Anonymous #1
#49
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#49
(Original post by reen92)
No she obviously isn't trying with you. Think about this..

1. You asked her out she said yeah then made up an excuse not to come

2. She moved away didn't know anyone si decided to im you now she probably has friends hence y she isn't actively keeping in touch as much.

3. Go out with workmate and socialise at uni there are plenty of 'hot and wild' girls out there.

4.NO MORE MESSAGING. Maybe she will noticed you've stopped and message you but at this.point your predictable and she knows it.

5. Make a thread called 'meet new people' or something and talk to people on here ask if anyone Is from your area or uni

1. I guess, but then again, I'm not sure I directly asked her out.
2. I think you are right. Maybe she was lonely and so wanted someone to talk to.
4. But will she message back? She doesn't seem like she will. When should I message her then? Just at new years?

How to get her to try it on with me? Someone mentioned friendzoning her on here. How do I do that and make her want to work to get out of it?
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reen92
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(Original post by Anonymous)
1. I guess, but then again, I'm not sure I directly asked her out.
2. I think you are right. Maybe she was lonely and so wanted someone to talk to.
4. But will she message back? She doesn't seem like she will. When should I message her then? Just at new years?

How to get her to try it on with me? Someone mentioned friendzoning her on here. How do I do that and make her want to work to get out of it?
U can't make someone want you. Friends zone is when u Are strictly friends. Dnt message her at all. Its becoming repeactive now sorry to say
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Anonymous #1
#51
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#51
(Original post by reen92)
U can't make someone want you. Friends zone is when u Are strictly friends. Dnt message her at all. Its becoming repeactive now sorry to say
And if she never messages me again?

What about the fact she fished whether I had a girlfriend?
She also put her arm through mine at a party.
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Anonymous #1
#52
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#52
(Original post by reen92)
U can't make someone want you. Friends zone is when u Are strictly friends. Dnt message her at all. Its becoming repeactive now sorry to say
Once she asked:

She goes, have you been to xyz? Then when I said no, she said you should go. I've been, it was great. You should take your date there lol. I then said gotcha, will do, just need to grab a date. Then she said haha love alert, ask out an intern. or something like that.

She started that topic randomly.

I'm not so forward to ask "Have you got a boyfriend". I mean I would like to wish her well, she normally does respond. But I feel like I'm always chasing. I would like to stay in touch with her though.

She used to always always initiate on IM.

Should I just keep initiating by text and hope for the best?
Feel like sometimes, she likes the fact that I am there to listen to her problems and make her feel good about herself. But I fancy her and sometimes dream about her... as in she is really hot!
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Anonymous #1
#53
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#53
(Original post by Tom78)
Might be a lost cause if she's abroad..
Should I msg her at special occasions? Thanksgiving, xmas, new year?

Should I always initiate?

(Original post by az08)
Why are you obsessed in being her entertaining texting buddy?
.
Look, I kinda like her... she is hot. What/when should I text her? Thanksgiving? or wait till new year?

Wish she would text me ... damn she's hot
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Anonymous #1
#54
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#54
(Original post by Foo.mp3)
Ask yourself, if you had a friend who was way cooler/more popular than you, whom you showed all the texts you've been sending etc, what would their reaction be? Then allow that 'friend' to be your inner voice. Laugh at yourself and tell yourself to snap out of it. She may be a great girl, you may one day have a great connection, but right now, she's just a pal, and one of many. More importantly, she's not a realistic dating prospect, so you should be focused on those. Firmly place her in the friendzone. If it helps, tell her this too

I can't make that call without knowing the whole context/detail of your exchanges, and don't have the time/inclination to go into that. Use your judgement

You should send the 1st message as soon as you have the number and feel like it. Simple as that

Sure Merry Christmas can't hurt, but not x-mas + NY! If she doesn't say anything at NY then wait until the next day or so and then maybe ask her how hers was. Remember to just read the situation as you would someone else's situation, dispassionately, and only do what seems both comfortable and reasonable to you
Probably that I should have upped the tone. Once she told me she had burnt her finger and was blowing air on it. I really wish i had told her to suck it. But I'm worried that if I'm too forward, she will break off contact completely. I think we had a great connection, but right now she is a pal who used to call me a lot, and now is not so much.

If I called her my friend in text, would that friendzone her? Would it keep the prospect of getting together for a night when she visits open? Would she feel the need to be more than a friend if i called her that?

How do you friendzone a girl?

I mean should I one day say who is this? Would that make her want to work it?
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Anonymous #1
#55
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#55
(Original post by Foo.mp3)
If a girl has friendzoned you then you need to be careful about attempts to escape it. If she sees you as this keeno/horny goofball then sexual escalation (even strictly verbal) may result in a massive own goal. She needs to respect you as a man/sexual entity, and perceive your flirtation as natural, before you can go there without coming across as a creeper or weirding her out. Randomly being like: "I think you should suck it" :sexface: is probably a bad idea, unless infused with cheeky humour in terms of style/tone and the sort of thing she imagines you'd say naturally
Okay, so maybe I did right by holding back there! How do you get her to 'respect you as a man/sexual entity'. What type of flirty things to say in day to day texting?

(Original post by Foo.mp3)
Call her buddy, pal, amigo, or even mate or dude, whatever you like. Keep your message short and to the point in this case
So is it best to do this? By friendzoning her she might try to escalate her status?

(Original post by Foo.mp3)
Impossible for me to say, I am not her
Understood, but you seem to be very knowledgable about these things! How best to cheekily increase the sexual tension in texts/get her thinking in that way?

(Original post by Foo.mp3)
As above, although as noted in other posts, sometimes showing a girl that you have friendzoned her too (leaving space for the idea that you're not just going to hang around and that maybe she's missing out) is likely to be a good strategy in some cases:



See above clip
Fair enough. But in terms of texting, how to do it? How do you get it so she wants you? I'm tempted to ignore, but worry that months might pass with no contact.

Also, if a girl is ill, and tells you so, what to say? Literally just hope you feel better? Should you text her later to ask about her or not?
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MarleyZ
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All girls are different.

Just be you.
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Anonymous #1
#57
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#57
(Original post by MarleyZ)
All girls are different.

Just be you.
Point taken. Trouble is feel like this girl doesn't really even initiate. Should I drop it then?

Feel so confused (because I fancy her a little!)

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MarleyZ
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Point taken. Trouble is feel like this girl doesn't really even initiate. Should I drop it then?

Feel so confused (because I fancy her a little!)

Some girls are shy and don't like to initiate but if you keep trying and not getting anywhere you are better off using your energy on someone who does want to spend more time with you, ya know?
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Foo.mp3)
You don't really 'get her to', either she does or she doesn't, and if she does, it's by virtue of simply being a 'cheeky son of a gun'/playful in general. This comes with experience/confidence. I am this way with women, and have been since my early 20's, but I wasn't born that way, for most of us it takes time and is a function of social experience (so socialise as much as poss)..

Yup, but it must be accompanied by the above to be truly effective (unless she's a bit of a dork)

I am, but I don't have enough context, and everyone is different (even if we do all tend to behave in fairly predictable/simple ways)

Depends. If you're just a dorky boy then it's not going to happen any time soon. If you have the right raw ingredients then you wanna work on yourself/social life first, then think about reframing

Don't, unless you're an absolute BAWS. Even I mess this up occasionally and I'm an experienced/grown man, so for a beginner it's just about the last thing you want to be attempting really

It's not that simple, unfortuantely, unless the raw ingredients are there and you have high social intelligence/adaptability

A real boss doesn't play games, and certainly never 'worries' about anything particularly. Now I'm not saying all young guys should aspire to literally be a boss, but losing the beta/faux-'nice guy' characteristics is certainly a step in the right direction

Whatever you feel like, but not too soppy e.g. I would say somet like "Sorry to hear that pet :/" or "Ah, that sucks! :/" plus "Feel better! xo" and maybe "That's an order! ^_^" (instructive, yet playful)

I tend to avoid language like 'hope', 'wish', and vagueries like 'kind of', 'a little bit', 'I think maybe' etc, at least until I've put a girl to the sword (so she knows the kind of man she's dealing with and isn't going to erroneously pre-judge you to be a softie/nice guy)

Just be cool :cool: I wouldn't ask her how she is more than once a day for sure. Always give girls a little space to breathe, and register their interest in you, never bombard (unless your game is so strong you literally don't give a ****) :smug:
Hahaha okay I'll give it some time.

I guess having an apathetic attitude might help my cause. Tbh, one day another girl was texting me at the same time as said girl and I was more focused on the 2nd girl's texts.

Maybe this came across, because suddenly this girl started to text me a lot that day!
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Anonymous #1
#60
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(Original post by Foo.mp3)
Life is about balance. Sheer apathy is weird/game playing. Being relatively dispassionate* is what you wanna aim for; do not predicate your happiness/self worth on what any particular girl thinks of you/does with/for you until you are literally in love with them (reciprocal)
Okay. I mean I am not in love with this girl. Do fancy her a little. Did like her personality when I knew her in person.

(Original post by Foo.mp3)
Texting girls in general should be a more of a sporadic pass-time, unless you're actually trying to line up a solid dating prospect. Whatsapp is a bit different as it's kind of chat, but even chat has its limits
That's a point. She used to IM me a lot. I think she enjoyed the chat aspect of it. Atm we're using whatsapp. I get nervous when I see she's typing something. I normally like to wait and think of something clever to say. How to get her to keep talking? Girls like that right?

(Original post by Foo.mp3)
Perhaps, or perhaps she was just less busy. Best not to read too much into anything and just focus on your own life and objectives :borat:
Okay. She did message me at 3am once though, not sure what that was about! I am continuing life as normal, just trying to up it a bit with her. I would like to keep her in the friendzone/potential date if we're in the same town.
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