Feel like I've failed for the past 19 years, Just getting it of my chest, Sorry. Watch

Anonymous #1
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The title says it all, I'm 19, and I genuinely feel like I've failed. I can honestly say I've had a ****ing difficult life and I've had no help through it... I was still-born, died twice within 20 minutes, Spent 6 months in an incubator, have a condition that requires daily pills, Had a **** childhood, Abusive father (Now gone) mother always worked, Bullied in primary school, Friendless in secondary school, was okay in college until I got stabbed on the way home and got kicked out, Applied for 182 jobs, 106 interviews, 0 jobs successful, Not eligible for benefits, Broke as ****, new stepfathers a ****, Lonely as **** and clearly depressed hence why I've ****ed up my past two relationships.

As you can see, pretty ****ty life, don't see it changing anytime soon either.

Sorry guys, just needed to vent.... Forgive me.
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105263
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(Original post by Anonymous)
The title says it all, I'm 19, and I genuinely feel like I've failed. I can honestly say I've had a ****ing difficult life and I've had no help through it... I was still-born, died twice within 20 minutes, Spent 6 months in an incubator, have a condition that requires daily pills, Had a **** childhood, Abusive father (Now gone) mother always worked, Bullied in primary school, Friendless in secondary school, was okay in college until I got stabbed on the way home and got kicked out, Applied for 182 jobs, 106 interviews, 0 jobs successful, Not eligible for benefits, Broke as ****, new stepfathers a ****, Lonely as **** and clearly depressed hence why I've ****ed up my past two relationships.

As you can see, pretty ****ty life, don't see it changing anytime soon either.

Sorry guys, just needed to vent.... Forgive me.
What have you found in life that makes you happy?
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elmosandy
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(Original post by Anonymous)
The title says it all, I'm 19, and I genuinely feel like I've failed. I can honestly say I've had a ****ing difficult life and I've had no help through it... I was still-born, died twice within 20 minutes, Spent 6 months in an incubator, have a condition that requires daily pills, Had a **** childhood, Abusive father (Now gone) mother always worked, Bullied in primary school, Friendless in secondary school, was okay in college until I got stabbed on the way home and got kicked out, Applied for 182 jobs, 106 interviews, 0 jobs successful, Not eligible for benefits, Broke as ****, new stepfathers a ****, Lonely as **** and clearly depressed hence why I've ****ed up my past two relationships.

As you can see, pretty ****ty life, don't see it changing anytime soon either.

Sorry guys, just needed to vent.... Forgive me.



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gen88
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Sending hugs your way. Can I ask why you aren't eligible for benefits? What are the first 3 things you could change first about your life? That's a good way to start. The way I see it, no-one can say they've died twice and lived to tell it. That means you're meant to be here for something. You're obviously way stronger than you give yourself credit for, you just haven't found what it is you're meant to be doing here on earth yet..
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katharinakri
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It's going to be okay. Maybe you should try to change your enviorment? Maybe move to a different place if you can?
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MJlover
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Start college again, get a qualification, get funding for college (maybe like a bursary)in the meantime to get yourself occupied and more hopeful about the future.
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Jayne7
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Hi,

You are amazing!

You have overcome so much adversity.

Someone once wrote, "The best thing about the past is that it's over". This seems so true for you and you must not judge your future as your past.

My suggestion, as a Coach, would be, before you go to bed, think of 10 positive things from that day (even if it's that you walked in lovely fresh air), feel gratitude for those things and especially before bed. This will help you make new thought habits.

Remember with a habit, the more you do it the more it becomes a habit.


Warm wishes

(Original post by Anonymous)
The title says it all, I'm 19, and I genuinely feel like I've failed. I can honestly say I've had a ****ing difficult life and I've had no help through it... I was still-born, died twice within 20 minutes, Spent 6 months in an incubator, have a condition that requires daily pills, Had a **** childhood, Abusive father (Now gone) mother always worked, Bullied in primary school, Friendless in secondary school, was okay in college until I got stabbed on the way home and got kicked out, Applied for 182 jobs, 106 interviews, 0 jobs successful, Not eligible for benefits, Broke as ****, new stepfathers a ****, Lonely as **** and clearly depressed hence why I've ****ed up my past two relationships.

As you can see, pretty ****ty life, don't see it changing anytime soon either.

Sorry guys, just needed to vent.... Forgive me.
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WeedCanKill
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Don't be a victim or else nothing will ever change.
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Jayne7
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(Original post by gen88)
Sending hugs your way. Can I ask why you aren't eligible for benefits? What are the first 3 things you could change first about your life? That's a good way to start. The way I see it, no-one can say they've died twice and lived to tell it. That means you're meant to be here for something. You're obviously way stronger than you give yourself credit for, you just haven't found what it is you're meant to be doing here on earth yet..
Love it!
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SarcasticMel
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(Original post by Anonymous)
The title says it all, I'm 19, and I genuinely feel like I've failed. I can honestly say I've had a ****ing difficult life and I've had no help through it... I was still-born, died twice within 20 minutes, Spent 6 months in an incubator, have a condition that requires daily pills, Had a **** childhood, Abusive father (Now gone) mother always worked, Bullied in primary school, Friendless in secondary school, was okay in college until I got stabbed on the way home and got kicked out, Applied for 182 jobs, 106 interviews, 0 jobs successful, Not eligible for benefits, Broke as ****, new stepfathers a ****, Lonely as **** and clearly depressed hence why I've ****ed up my past two relationships.

As you can see, pretty ****ty life, don't see it changing anytime soon either.

Sorry guys, just needed to vent.... Forgive me.
But the fact that you got into two relationships should tell you that there's something that's right about you! People tend to notice and if it took them some time to decide that you are not in the right state, well to me it means you can get in the right state.

Not to mention, the sheer effort you put in to applying to that many jobs, you're not a quitter, a quitter would have given up long before that.

I know I can't help you, and words won't help you, but for what it's worth, you don't sound like a **** up at all, just someone who had some very bad luck along the way.
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number23
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I think it shows you are a strong person having been through all that and you are still here. You are very young, try and focuss on things you enjoy . You deserve it
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