dark area of skin

I have this dark area of skin on the side of my face... and it looks like a sideburn i guess from far away, and when i was young, not knowing hair grows back longer, i shaved there once/twice because thinking maybe the slight, hardly visible hair there (natural hair) was causing that area to look more darker.

i have had it since i was really young (cant remember exactly when about 9/10 maybe) and it has affected my confidence and still is, so far i have managed to keep it hidden, by wearing a scarf (as i am a muslim), however you may say keep wearing the scarf and it'll be fine, but its not, im constantly worried the scarf may slip back and it be visible, and i wont let people be close to me, physically and emotionally. I have managed to tell one friend (girl) after being friends with her 2 years.

I didn't used to wear the scarf before year 9, and up to then i have been picked on and made fun of because of that.

now it seems like the other side of my face is starting to get darker, i think it maybe hyperpigmentation due to hormones?
Ive been to the docs many times...given various appying creams etc. They never worked so he sent me to the dermertologists they suggested either bleaching...which can go wrong and blotchy, being shown techniques to cover it up with make up, or laser sugery, i wanted the laser sugery but my mum wouldn't let me as it isnt physically disabling.

I just feel that i have no right to have confidence because im ugly, although im a 'nice' person and some people want to get to know me I always keep people a certain emotional distance away from me, i guess that im afraid they won't like me if they found out about that, and that dark area of skin is like a part of me its stuck there i can't get rid of it and i feel like im decieving people by hiding it behind my scarf.

im sorry i had to ramble on, just wanted to talk about it to someone/somewhere.

Reply 1

Anonymous #1

Ive had some guys say that i was beautiful/gd looking but thats with my scarf on so i don't really know what they would think of me, because of comments like that which i know are untrue, i hate decieving people.