Took my boyfriend on holiday for his birthday, he just got me a pair of earphones Watch

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Anonymous #1
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Feeling pretty depressed about this tbh.

Last year, I surprised my bf, and took him abroad on holiday for his birthday. He bought me a pair of gloves (albet they were from Reiss).

This year, I took him to Belgium, he got me a pair of earphones.

Needless to say, I'm feeling pretty upset. It isn't about how much they cost, at all... I just thought he'd put more thought into it. He's 36, I'm 25. His birthday was in Sept and mine was yesterday.Meaning that his birthday was before mine and he put no effort into mine.

Last year I sort of made a little comment about how gloves were a bit ****, and my gran could've got me them... but he got upset, so this year I pretended I really appreciated the earphones.

I've started my MSc this year and so I planned for months beforehand as I knew I'd be a student again and so I'd have to budget well to take him away.

Thinking of breaking up. We've been together 4 years. But I don't know how to. First relationship, so would appreciate some advice.
Yeah dude
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#2
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Feeling pretty depressed about this tbh.

Last year, I surprised my bf, and took him abroad on holiday for his birthday. He bought me a pair of gloves (albet they were from Reiss).

This year, I took him to Belgium, he got me a pair of earphones.

Needless to say, I'm feeling pretty upset. It isn't about how much they cost, at all... I just thought he'd put more thought into it. He's 36, I'm 25. His birthday was in Sept and mine was yesterday.Meaning that his birthday was before mine and he put no effort into mine.

Last year I sort of made a little comment about how gloves were a bit ****, and my gran could've got me them... but he got upset, so this year I pretended I really appreciated the earphones.

I've started my MSc this year and so I planned for months beforehand as I knew I'd be a student again and so I'd have to budget well to take him away.

Thinking of breaking up. We've been together 4 years. But I don't know how to. First relationship, so would appreciate some advice.
Wait you think of break up because of gifts? Am I high again?


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Black Cat
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#3
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Feeling pretty depressed about this tbh.

Last year, I surprised my bf, and took him abroad on holiday for his birthday. He bought me a pair of gloves (albet they were from Reiss).

This year, I took him to Belgium, he got me a pair of earphones.

Needless to say, I'm feeling pretty upset. It isn't about how much they cost, at all... I just thought he'd put more thought into it. He's 36, I'm 25. His birthday was in Sept and mine was yesterday.Meaning that his birthday was before mine and he put no effort into mine.

Last year I sort of made a little comment about how gloves were a bit ****, and my gran could've got me them... but he got upset, so this year I pretended I really appreciated the earphones.

I've started my MSc this year and so I planned for months beforehand as I knew I'd be a student again and so I'd have to budget well to take him away.

Thinking of breaking up. We've been together 4 years. But I don't know how to. First relationship, so would appreciate some advice.
What matters is the gesture not the value of some materialistic object least he bought you something. What were you expecting a new car? or perhaps a return ticket to travel through the world? If he doesn't make enough effort in the relationship then why not sit down him and talk about it.
Anonymous #1
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That's what I mean, I'm not bothered about the value... even if he made me a little card or did a home made dinner or something I'd be happy. But it was just thoughtless... I said I need new earphones, and I'd get some the next day. But he just bought them an said happy birthday.
Anonymous #1
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I don't see how I can be the gold digger when I'm the one doing all the thoughtful things. He joked all the time that he's going to live off me because I'm doing my masters and he works in shop.
DeceitfulDove
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Well tbh, you have kind of gone overboard with the holidays :dontknow:
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ByronicHero
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#7
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This is likely just a symptom of some more more fundamental issue with your relationship. Talk to him, and if you can't talk to him then it is doomed anyway so you may as well end it.
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Nadine_08
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He's probably just not too bothered about birthdays. In my opinion, getting him a holiday is a bit over the top for a birthday. Maybe as a way of showing this, he bought you something of little value so that next time you don't put in so much for his next birthday. Or maybe he can't afford to get you something of bigger value? Overall, gifts aren't what make a good relationship. I don't think you should let something like this break your relationship.
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TheTechN1304
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I don't see how I can be the gold digger when I'm the one doing all the thoughtful things. He joked all the time that he's going to live off me because I'm doing my masters and he works in shop.
Are you richer than him? Personally I'd be pretty pissed if I were you and my bf only got me some headphones
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Runninground
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#10
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He's a guy, you should be happy he even remembered it was your birthday.
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41b
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#11
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Why have you given him such expensive gifts?

You are desperate for his approval and he doesn't care all that much. You sound like a sap and he's pretty aloof.

Embrace the fact that he sees you as a tryhard kid and probably laughs at your angst. Telling him you're breaking up would, I suspect, make him give you a big hug and kiss it all better.
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doodle_333
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if he got me something so small I would have just not spent so much the next year? some couples spend a lot on presents, some don't think it's a big deal... you need to have a conversation so you're on the same page

I do agree he could have put more thought in, I would be upset if someone clearly hadn't thought about a gift they gave me as I always put a lot of thought into the ones I buy
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Chlorophile
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#13
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I think your gifts are pretty intimidating to be honest. I'd be completely and utterly embarrassed if someone gave me a holiday as a gift, I wouldn't feel comfortable at all. I really don't think it's a reasonable expectation to expect some kind of massive thing for your birthday. It's not his fault that you're totally overdoing it.
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gmahapatra
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Feeling pretty depressed about this tbh.

Last year, I surprised my bf, and took him abroad on holiday for his birthday. He bought me a pair of gloves (albet they were from Reiss).

This year, I took him to Belgium, he got me a pair of earphones.

Needless to say, I'm feeling pretty upset. It isn't about how much they cost, at all... I just thought he'd put more thought into it. He's 36, I'm 25. His birthday was in Sept and mine was yesterday.Meaning that his birthday was before mine and he put no effort into mine.

Last year I sort of made a little comment about how gloves were a bit ****, and my gran could've got me them... but he got upset, so this year I pretended I really appreciated the earphones.

I've started my MSc this year and so I planned for months beforehand as I knew I'd be a student again and so I'd have to budget well to take him away.

Thinking of breaking up. We've been together 4 years. But I don't know how to. First relationship, so would appreciate some advice.
lol at u
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Sashari
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Some of the replies on here are down right mean. I am absolutely with you. Maybe you did go over the top with gifts for him, but the fact that he put so little thought into yours is down right unfair...

My boyfriend is so amazing at giving me gifts. He gives me stuff I might have not even know I wanted, but when it comes to me getting something for him I just feel stuck. But that just means that every time I see something interesting I think of him and whether it would be a potentially good present.

Honest, if this makes you feel hurt I think you should talk to him and tell him that lack of thought makes you feel like you are not special. Maybe he genuinely thought that you'd appreciate these since you actually needed them... Maybe the money difficulty makes him feel like he can't spend money on things that are not necessary. Alternatively birthdays have never been a big deal to him and he might not even understand that you want something truly special on this day.

Anyway, I think I am rambling on, but I'm sure you get my point. Good luck!
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Flyingaround
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Feeling pretty depressed about this tbh.

Last year, I surprised my bf, and took him abroad on holiday for his birthday. He bought me a pair of gloves (albet they were from Reiss).

This year, I took him to Belgium, he got me a pair of earphones.

Needless to say, I'm feeling pretty upset. It isn't about how much they cost, at all... I just thought he'd put more thought into it. He's 36, I'm 25. His birthday was in Sept and mine was yesterday.Meaning that his birthday was before mine and he put no effort into mine.

Last year I sort of made a little comment about how gloves were a bit ****, and my gran could've got me them... but he got upset, so this year I pretended I really appreciated the earphones.

I've started my MSc this year and so I planned for months beforehand as I knew I'd be a student again and so I'd have to budget well to take him away.

Thinking of breaking up. We've been together 4 years. But I don't know how to. First relationship, so would appreciate some advice.
You're an amazing girl to do such things for people. I took my female friend on holiday as she didn't go on many, i paid to go to st martin where planes land over your head and blast you into the sea. I usually get nothing from people, only people asking for money, usually i talk to people who don't have a lot of money. I don't have a lot myself, i tend to eat simple food if i want to save up to go to places like asia. My video work is getting better, youtube is like an investment and i have other avenues though.

If i was to get a girl friend, offcourse the value would be the same amount they spent sort of, i mean i've spent lots already, i'm not that scrooge when it comes to someone i love but i am scrooge to myself sometimes

Give me a pm.

Don't listen to people's negative thoughts, i'd feel the same way if i'd been with someone for years, you seem like a decent person. if i had a holiday off a girl i think i'd have a heart attack
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Tom78
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I think it says a lot that you focus on the material value of presents rather than emotional worth. Also... you're asking a bunch of teenagers to advise you about the marriage problems of 20 or 30 somethings.. might want to take a rain check
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chocolatesauce
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Wait you're breaking up with him over presents?
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BreakingBadx
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I don't see how I can be the gold digger when I'm the one doing all the thoughtful things. He joked all the time that he's going to live off me because I'm doing my masters and he works in shop.
Sounds like a bit of a **** TBH. As someone else has said it's not just the gifts but the fact that they may be the sign of a greater problem in your relationship. Often people will "joke" but say things they actually mean.

I'd say you can do better. If it were me I'd break up, but it's your call.
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joker12345
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I'd say it's fair enough that you're feelings this way. It's about effort. You went to the effort to plan a holiday, he bought one material thing - it's not like it was something incredibly thoughtful though less expensive.
You need to have a serious talk, don't just break up.
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