He wants a break.... Watch

Anonymous #1
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Hi TSR,

I am currently going through a really tough time and I would really appreciate some advice. My boyfriend and I have been going out for 2 months and it's been very nice, we message each other everyday and see each other so much. However, these last two weeks have been really tough for us. We have been arguing a lot and hardly seeing each other and due to this lack of contact I've been sending him quite stroppy messages. We met in person on Thursday because I wanted to sit down and try and deal with our situation but he refused to listen. I apologised for being angry in the messages and he said that he wants us to have a break for a week to clear our heads. I said I didn't want a break because I'm the kind of person who likes talking things through and he said he didn't want to listen. I then burst out crying in the middle of the town centre and he walked off. I called him sobbing and he told me we are on a break and he doesn't want to hear from me until Friday.

I thought I loved him and I told him I don't want these last 2 weeks to be the end of us. he told me he doesn't understand the situation and needs this time to think things through. What advice can you all give me? I'm finding it so hard to not message him and I can't stop going on his facebook. I've spent the last two days crying and I can see he's been going out clubbing. I feel so upset and I miss him.
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Kaiju
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He wants a break after 2 months, 2 weeks of which have been tough?
Already?

He wants to break up with you. He likely just doesn't know how to approach it. Either that or he's too much of a **** to do it.

Idk why you'd feel like you loved him in less than 2 months, that's pretty quick - either way, you should probably break up with him before something else happens. He's basically taking you for a fool right now because while you're sad af he's still going out - grab the power dynamic back, break up w/ him and you run the possibility of him backtracking to win you back.

Either way, this sounds like a no-go. If you're arguing this early on, it likely isn't worth it.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Kaiju)
He wants a break after 2 months, 2 weeks of which have been tough?
Already?

He wants to break up with you. He likely just doesn't know how to approach it. Either that or he's too much of a **** to do it.

Idk why you'd feel like you loved him in less than 2 months, that's pretty quick - either way, you should probably break up with him before something else happens. He's basically taking you for a fool right now because while you're sad af he's still going out - grab the power dynamic back, break up w/ him and you run the possibility of him backtracking to win you back.

Either way, this sounds like a no-go. If you're arguing this early on, it likely isn't worth it.
I don't understand why he's said we are meeting on Friday though if he really wants to end it surely he wouldn't tell me he wants to meet when he's cleared his head?
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chocolatesauce
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A break after only 2 months isn't a good sign tbh. I'd say go ahead with the break and resist contacting him if you believe this will help the relationship but see if he's the first one to contact you after the break.
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Kaiju
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I don't understand why he's said we are meeting on Friday though if he really wants to end it surely he wouldn't tell me he wants to meet when he's cleared his head?
Potentially knows that you're still into him (kinda made that completely obvious by wanting to talk) and is keeping you on the clothes-line. Then again, I'm probably biased and think the worst of people.
I'd be weary either way. It's possible he -has- cleared his head.
It's also possible he's going to try and keep you interested whilst going after other people and then claim it's fine because of the "break".

Be careful, yo.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by chocolatesauce)
A break after only 2 months isn't a good sign tbh. I'd say go ahead with the break and resist contacting him if you believe this will help the relationship but see if he's the first one to contact you after the break.
I agree . I assumed it was because we pretty much spend 3-4 days together so the relationship has moved quickly.

I hope this break makes him realise he cares about me but seeing he's going out is making me sad.

I can't stop looking at his Facebook and whatsapp to see if he's online
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Kaiju)
Potentially knows that you're still into him (kinda made that completely obvious by wanting to talk) and is keeping you on the clothes-line. Then again, I'm probably biased and think the worst of people.
I'd be weary either way. It's possible he -has- cleared his head.
It's also possible he's going to try and keep you interested whilst going after other people and then claim it's fine because of the "break".

Be careful, yo.
Thank you for this advice . I told him on Thursday I love him and can't live without him and these two weeks is going to be a living hell so he knows I like him!
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chocolatesauce
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I agree . I assumed it was because we pretty much spend 3-4 days together so the relationship has moved quickly.

I hope this break makes him realise he cares about me but seeing he's going out is making me sad.

I can't stop looking at his Facebook and whatsapp to see if he's online
Maybe he feels things are moving too quickly and a break will slow things down, it might be too overwhelming for him.
Why don't you and your friends go out and get your mind of things for a bit show him you can have a little fun too :hugs:
I think you'll get over it soon it's just starting trouble....
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Anonymous #2
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Is this your first boyfriend?

Don't allow this to happen to yourself, don't ever let a man treat you like that. In my opinion he just doesn't have the backbone to break up with you. Personally I do not believe in this 'having a break' idea - whenever it reaches that stage the relationship is doomed and it means at least one of them wants it over with. In this case it's him. Leave him. You've gone through the worst part (crying/FB stalking) - it gets easier after that. It's like ripping off a plaster. If it was me, I would just break contact entirely - I wouldn't even give him the courtesy of a reason, especially not someone I'd known for 2 months. But that's another matter - if you decide to break it off I suppose most people would let them know.

He's acting like he's the authority in the relationship when it shouldn't be that way - there are two people involved. He's got you waiting around for him to say when it's okay for you to talk to him, as if you're some little puppy following him around and waiting for him to say 'yes' or 'no'.
Take an objective look at that and see how ridiculous that is. He has no right to keep you waiting on tenterhooks. He either wants in or wants out - he doesn't need a week to know which. If he has to even think about it then that tells you all you need to know.

Someone who wants a 'break' after 2 months is pissing you around and is not worth your time.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by chocolatesauce)
Maybe he feels things are moving too quickly and a break will slow things down, it might be too overwhelming for him.
Why don't you and your friends go out and get your mind of things for a bit show him you can have a little fun too :hugs:
I think you'll get over it soon it's just starting trouble....
Thank you ! He said it's because I was angry in texts and confusing him
And he doesn't understand me anymore. I feel so sad he left me crying and now he's out with other girls
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Is this your first boyfriend?

Don't allow this to happen to yourself, don't ever let a man treat you like that. In my opinion he just doesn't have the backbone to break up with you. Personally I do not believe in this 'having a break' idea - whenever it reaches that stage the relationship is doomed and it means at least one of them wants it over with. In this case it's him. Leave him. You've gone through the worst part (crying/FB stalking) - it gets easier after that. It's like ripping off a plaster. If it was me, I would just break contact entirely - I wouldn't even give him the courtesy of a reason, especially not someone I'd known for 2 months. But that's another matter - if you decide to break it off I suppose most people would let them know.

He's acting like he's the authority in the relationship when it shouldn't be that way - there are two people involved. He's got you waiting around for him to say when it's okay for you to talk to him, as if you're some little puppy following him around and waiting for him to say 'yes' or 'no'.
Take an objective look at that and see how ridiculous that is. He has no right to keep you waiting on tenterhooks. He either wants in or wants out - he doesn't need a week to know which. If he has to even think about it then that tells you all you need to know.

Someone who wants a 'break' after 2 months is pissing you around and is not worth your time.
I said that to him and he said he's confused and stressed and thinks not talking to me is the only way to resolve this because "we were both too angry to talk" so need two weeks to calm down.
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chocolatesauce
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Thank you ! He said it's because I was angry in texts and confusing him
And he doesn't understand me anymore. I feel so sad he left me crying and now he's out with other girls
If my boyfriend left me crying in the middle of a public place tbh I'd have a right go at him and probably leave him too since he doesn't care what I think my opinions. It's a different story if he's going through a rough time and he's just messed up but it sounds like he's using it as an excuse
I'd say go ahead with the break but don't stop yourself from being happy. If he can go around having fun then so can you....
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Anonymous #2
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I said that to him and he said he's confused and stressed and thinks not talking to me is the only way to resolve this because "we were both too angry to talk" so need two weeks to calm down.
Hun, he's a ****. Unfortunately love makes us only see the best in people and overlook things that we don't want to believe - and we only learn how to spot a bad guy through experience of them. 2 months is too short to need a break, he's just not man enough to do the right thing.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by chocolatesauce)
If my boyfriend left me crying in the middle of a public place tbh I'd have a right go at him and probably leave him too since he doesn't care what I think my opinions. It's a different story if he's going through a rough time and he's just messed up but it sounds like he's using it as an excuse
I'd say go ahead with the break but don't stop yourself from being happy. If he can go around having fun then so can you....
Thank you so much. It's true about crying in public, no matter how angry someone is it's a nasty thing for them to do.

I can't stop waiting for him to msg when I know he won't
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Tylerd94
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That seems far too early to be having a break. Me and my ex were on and off for two years twice we had space from each other but each time it wasn't mutual it just happened. I'm the sort of person who likes to talk things through as well but this time we have each mutually agreed to have space until next year as what happened was serious. I'm worried he wants space because although he says it's so he can get over our past issues and try for us to be something again. He's given space to his father for years and still refuses to talk to him I necer want that to happen between us
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Tylerd94)
That seems far too early to be having a break. Me and my ex were on and off for two years twice we had space from each other but each time it wasn't mutual it just happened. I'm the sort of person who likes to talk things through as well but this time we have each mutually agreed to have space until next year as what happened was serious. I'm worried he wants space because although he says it's so he can get over our past issues and try for us to be something again. He's given space to his father for years and still refuses to talk to him I necer want that to happen between us
I said I wanted to talk and he wanted a break so it wasn't mutual which is making me sad.

I can't stop going on his Facebook and everyone I go in my phone I see our old photos and messages
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Tylerd94
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I said I wanted to talk and he wanted a break so it wasn't mutual which is making me sad.

I can't stop going on his Facebook and everyone I go in my phone I see our old photos and messages
Hey look he's asked for a break now if you don't understand what that means within regard to seeing others and such question it, nevertheless it's only a week have the space you see him going clubbing so he's enjoying life so you go out get some girls and enjoy life too personally I'd say don't go off with anybody else I mean hr hasn't so why should you just do what you want to. Don't look at his Facebook it's easier said than done I don't have my ex on facebook so that's really easy fore but I'm aware of his other profiles and all looking ay them did was hurt me and start asking loads of questions just give him space and when he's ready to talk you can see whether to make up or break up
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Tylerd94)
Hey look he's asked for a break now if you don't understand what that means within regard to seeing others and such question it, nevertheless it's only a week have the space you see him going clubbing so he's enjoying life so you go out get some girls and enjoy life too personally I'd say don't go off with anybody else I mean hr hasn't so why should you just do what you want to. Don't look at his Facebook it's easier said than done I don't have my ex on facebook so that's really easy fore but I'm aware of his other profiles and all looking ay them did was hurt me and start asking loads of questions just give him space and when he's ready to talk you can see whether to make up or break up
Thank you. I'm finding it so hard not to look. Ultimately we haven't spoken in three days and he doesn't seem to want to until Friday which hurts. I'm feeling upset about our relationship whilst he is out enjoyin himself ;(
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Tylerd94
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Thank you. I'm finding it so hard not to look. Ultimately we haven't spoken in three days and he doesn't seem to want to until Friday which hurts. I'm feeling upset about our relationship whilst he is out enjoyin himself ;(
Well think about what has lead you to this think of why you were arguing maybe it was because you seemed upset and clingy he wants to know that you can live life without him and be happy without him he wants you to want him not need him
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jamez870
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"We were on a break!"
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