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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 4 years ago
#1
It will be our 4th year anniversary of being together in a Long Distant relationship this month.

having been in a long distance relationship, we hardly see eachother. Seeing eachother even once in 3 month = we would consider lucky. Many of our friends are jelous of our relationship, considering us as the perfect example of a perfect couple.

I just turned 21, currently in final year studying biomedical sciences, aspiring to become a doctor. he is 21, turning 22 in a few months, not entered uni yet. He has done courses that are equivalent to A/levels as he came into the country late. He applied for university last year for engineering, had a conditional offer but did not make the entry requirements in summer.
I think that not entering uni is starting to get to him.
As asians, our parents have high expectations of the son in law / daughter in law to be. I.e. educated, decent, good family background etc.

I will be completing my undergrad degree this summer, and so will be classed as a graduate. Whereas, it will take him time to enter uni, start and finish the course he wishes to study. However, studying is not his forte. And he highly doubts the likelyhood of going uni and doing well.

Problem: he is comparing himself as someone that i don't deserve. He is asking for a break.. so he can sort himself out. He said he will come and propose, and ask my hand for marriage to my parents himself when he feels he is ready. And till then, has requested to stay apart.

He is adamant about his decision. Ive talked everything theough with him.. but he refuses to change his mind.

Is staying apart the right decision? Is waiting for (max) 4 years doable? Or is it too filmy
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Mankytoes
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#2
Report 4 years ago
#2
(Original post by Anonymous)
It will be our 4th year anniversary of being together in a Long Distant relationship this month.

having been in a long distance relationship, we hardly see eachother. Seeing eachother even once in 3 month = we would consider lucky. Many of our friends are jelous of our relationship, considering us as the perfect example of a perfect couple.

I just turned 21, currently in final year studying biomedical sciences, aspiring to become a doctor. he is 21, turning 22 in a few months, not entered uni yet. He has done courses that are equivalent to A/levels as he came into the country late. He applied for university last year for engineering, had a conditional offer but did not make the entry requirements in summer.
I think that not entering uni is starting to get to him.
As asians, our parents have high expectations of the son in law / daughter in law to be. I.e. educated, decent, good family background etc.

I will be completing my undergrad degree this summer, and so will be classed as a graduate. Whereas, it will take him time to enter uni, start and finish the course he wishes to study. However, studying is not his forte. And he highly doubts the likelyhood of going uni and doing well.

Problem: he is comparing himself as someone that i don't deserve. He is asking for a break.. so he can sort himself out. He said he will come and propose, and ask my hand for marriage to my parents himself when he feels he is ready. And till then, has requested to stay apart.

He is adamant about his decision. Ive talked everything theough with him.. but he refuses to change his mind.

Is staying apart the right decision? Is waiting for (max) 4 years doable? Or is it too filmy
So he's saying he wants to bang other girls for a few years, and promising he'll marry you afterwards?

Please don't put your life on hold for this.
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Juichiro
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#3
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(Original post by Anonymous)
It will be our 4th year anniversary of being together in a Long Distant relationship this month.

having been in a long distance relationship, we hardly see eachother. Seeing eachother even once in 3 month = we would consider lucky. Many of our friends are jelous of our relationship, considering us as the perfect example of a perfect couple.

I just turned 21, currently in final year studying biomedical sciences, aspiring to become a doctor. he is 21, turning 22 in a few months, not entered uni yet. He has done courses that are equivalent to A/levels as he came into the country late. He applied for university last year for engineering, had a conditional offer but did not make the entry requirements in summer.
I think that not entering uni is starting to get to him.
As asians, our parents have high expectations of the son in law / daughter in law to be. I.e. educated, decent, good family background etc.

I will be completing my undergrad degree this summer, and so will be classed as a graduate. Whereas, it will take him time to enter uni, start and finish the course he wishes to study. However, studying is not his forte. And he highly doubts the likelyhood of going uni and doing well.

Problem: he is comparing himself as someone that i don't deserve. He is asking for a break.. so he can sort himself out. He said he will come and propose, and ask my hand for marriage to my parents himself when he feels he is ready. And till then, has requested to stay apart.

He is adamant about his decision. Ive talked everything theough with him.. but he refuses to change his mind.

Is staying apart the right decision? Is waiting for (max) 4 years doable? Or is it too filmy
So he wants to break while he is at uni (a place known for highly promiscuous behaviour) and then return to you. :rolleyes:

4 years is a lot.
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Anonymous #1
#4
Report Thread starter 4 years ago
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(Original post by Juichiro)
So he wants to break while he is at uni (a place known for highly promiscuous behaviour) and then return to you. :rolleyes:

4 years is a lot.
Were both faithful to eachother. There wont be any ifs or whats or buts.
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pinkbullets
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#5
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People change a lot in four years and it's highly likely that one or both of you will meet other people and start other relationships. I mean, I'm not saying it couldn't work but it's very unlikely to. Certainly don't promise to wait about four years for him. Tell him that if he breaks up with you now, there's no guarantee that you'll be willing to take him back. Also, tell him to breaking up with you over his own self esteem issues makes him much less worthy of you than his lack of a degree ever did.
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Juichiro
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#6
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Were both faithful to eachother. There wont be any ifs or whats or buts.
The present needs not to determine the far future.
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Mankytoes
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#7
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Were both faithful to eachother. There wont be any ifs or whats or buts.
I don't really get it, why can't he see you in this time? He "doesn't deserve you", but he does deserve for you to be on your own for four years waiting for him? What if he doesn't get the degree, then will you be together? Maybe it's a cultural thing, but I'm not getting this at all.
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