He said he wants to take it slow but he's not? Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
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Anon because I like keeping certain things about my private life unassociated with my username.

Anyway, so the full detailed story so far is I got with this guy at a club and slept with him. Initially assumed it would be a ONS yet we ended up getting on so well.

At the party a couple days later (first time we saw each other after the first night together), he told me he really liked me but wanted to take things slow. I was taken aback, seeing as even though he was asking to take it slow, this was the first time we'd seen each other since drunken sex. It was like it was suddenly a thing.

Then we had a good date a few days after that, I was on my time of month so he stayed round but no sex. So all is going swimmingly, until for reasons I'd rather not explain even if it is anon, I find out I can't have sex or do anything sexual at all for about 3 weeks. When I told him, he just said it was fine.

I saw him again on Halloween night last night. We flirted around, then I went out while he went to a different club night to me. When I left, I was like "see you later" and he kept asking (half joking) when later was i.e. when was he going to see me again. Later in the night, about 4am he texts me asking to come round and see me. So he literally came round, we chatted while eating drunk food then passed out in my bed because we were both so drunk. Then we spent half the day in bed talking this morning.

He's literally just asked me to go round again to watch a film with him and stay over even though he only left mine a few hours ago.

And sorry, is it just me or is that not taking it slow?

And I'm confused why. The only thing I can think of is that he did want to take it slow, but now he's discovered he wants to be around me so much it's proving rather difficult to do so. Does that sound about right? It's suddenly gone from a supposed ONS to staying at each others houses acting like a couple in quite literally 10 days. For the reason that we can't have sex for now, it means neither of us can have sex at all with anyone else.

I really like him, but the pace is getting a bit scary. Or does it sound like he could still want to take it slow but he just likes spending time with me? He sleeps holding/hugging/spooning me (his choice… nothing forced by me!), almost like he doesn't want to let me go or he likes me being in the bed with him or something.

When he left this morning, my friend smirked at me and said "we're betting on 2 weeks and you'll be official". So it's clearly obvious to all our friends too.

I guess my question is can anyone help me decipher what he's thinking. I don't know.

PS he hints that he talks to his housemates about me all the time - don't think he realises it.
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Inazuma
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My opinion - why does it matter?
People change their minds, it may have been what he thought he wanted.
Is it a problem? Just go with it unless it's an issue really and it's too fast for you etc. Then talk to him etc. but honestly, if it's good, leave it.
"Actions speak louder than words"
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Inazuma)
My opinion - why does it matter?
People change their minds, it may have been what he thought he wanted.
Is it a problem? Just go with it unless it's an issue really and it's too fast for you etc. Then talk to him etc. but honestly, if it's good, leave it.
"Actions speak louder than words"
Well I guess I wanted to know if it sounded like he'd changed his mind about it because it affects how I then talk to him i.e. do I carry on acting like we're just casually seeing each other or is it okay for me to do things like invite him over for a dinner and movie night … typically something couples would do.
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Zenarthra
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Anon because I like keeping certain things about my private life unassociated with my username.

Anyway, so the full detailed story so far is I got with this guy at a club and slept with him. Initially assumed it would be a ONS yet we ended up getting on so well.

At the party a couple days later (first time we saw each other after the first night together), he told me he really liked me but wanted to take things slow. I was taken aback, seeing as even though he was asking to take it slow, this was the first time we'd seen each other since drunken sex. It was like it was suddenly a thing.

Then we had a good date a few days after that, I was on my time of month so he stayed round but no sex. So all is going swimmingly, until for reasons I'd rather not explain even if it is anon, I find out I can't have sex or do anything sexual at all for about 3 weeks. When I told him, he just said it was fine.

I saw him again on Halloween night last night. We flirted around, then I went out while he went to a different club night to me. When I left, I was like "see you later" and he kept asking (half joking) when later was i.e. when was he going to see me again. Later in the night, about 4am he texts me asking to come round and see me. So he literally came round, we chatted while eating drunk food then passed out in my bed because we were both so drunk. Then we spent half the day in bed talking this morning.

He's literally just asked me to go round again to watch a film with him and stay over even though he only left mine a few hours ago.

And sorry, is it just me or is that not taking it slow?

And I'm confused why. The only thing I can think of is that he did want to take it slow, but now he's discovered he wants to be around me so much it's proving rather difficult to do so. Does that sound about right? It's suddenly gone from a supposed ONS to staying at each others houses acting like a couple in quite literally 10 days. For the reason that we can't have sex for now, it means neither of us can have sex at all with anyone else.

I really like him, but the pace is getting a bit scary. Or does it sound like he could still want to take it slow but he just likes spending time with me? He sleeps holding/hugging/spooning me (his choice… nothing forced by me!), almost like he doesn't want to let me go or he likes me being in the bed with him or something.

When he left this morning, my friend smirked at me and said "we're betting on 2 weeks and you'll be official". So it's clearly obvious to all our friends too.

I guess my question is can anyone help me decipher what he's thinking. I don't know.

PS he hints that he talks to his housemates about me all the time - don't think he realises it.
He just wants to spend more time with you, he likes being accompanied by you.
Its clear he has feelings for you. His definition of taking it slow is not having sexual intercourse on the very first date.
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Zarek
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'Taking it slow' is a common thing to say after you have unexpectedly got off with someone you fancy the pants off but aren't sure of the lie of the land yet. It means very little.
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Zarek
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(Original post by Zenarthra)
He just wants to spend more time with you, he likes being accompanied by you.
Its clear he has feelings for you. His definition of taking it slow is not having sexual intercourse on the very first date.
Yeah, but they did it pre first date!
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digitalfever
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He sounds like he wants to get some.
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Zenarthra
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(Original post by Zarek)
Yeah, but they did it pre first date!
Oh nvm then, situation is truly FKED!
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Zenarthra)
He just wants to spend more time with you, he likes being accompanied by you.
Its clear he has feelings for you. His definition of taking it slow is not having sexual intercourse on the very first date.

(Original post by Zarek)
Yeah, but they did it pre first date!
Yes, this.

(Original post by digitalfever)
He sounds like he wants to get some.
He has, now he can't. Doesn't seem to phase him. He still wants to be around me.

(Original post by Zenarthra)
Oh nvm then, situation is truly FKED!
Calm down, wouldn't go that far.
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Zarek
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Yes, this.



He has, now he can't. Doesn't seem to phase him. He still wants to be around me.



Calm down, wouldn't go that far.
Stick with it, might turn in to a good relationship I reckon..
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Enoxial
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He wants the M (Money)
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username239687
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You could just say you got an STI rather than all the "don't want to say" stuff.
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Inazuma
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Well I guess I wanted to know if it sounded like he'd changed his mind about it because it affects how I then talk to him i.e. do I carry on acting like we're just casually seeing each other or is it okay for me to do things like invite him over for a dinner and movie night … typically something couples would do.
I know why you may want to know, but don't focus on the little things, it's rather destructive in the end.
If you want to invite him over etc. - go ahead. I think it sounds like he'd be up for that, and if you're wrong, then you'll find out anyway.
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