Should I be bothered that my friend is homophobic?

I've had this friend for about a year and she is quite a nice person, but a few days ago we came across the topic of homosexuality. Well rather she and her family were making a joke about someone being a lesbian but in a nasty way, and they well all laughing. So then I casually asked if her family were homophobic which she replied yes, and then I asked if she was too, and she said yes, without even hesitating.
Since then I have been slightly uneasy because I find discrimination against any group of people, whether by race, sexuality etc is disgusting. What's worse is that she's a Christian, and I thought Christianity was about loving one another but whatever (I just find it hypocritical).

Basically, I'm just feeling off with her. Am I overacting? I just think about the comments she made and her definitive answer of openly admitting she's homophobic, and it frankly still pisses me off.

Scroll to see replies

Reply 1

TroyAndAbed

She's openly admitted to being a bigot & seems to feel no shame in it, so it's just a matter of whether you feel you can look past that as it's unlikely she's going to change her views.

Reply 2

mampfen

If you have a problem with her being homophobic, then I think you should slowly stop talking to her. If it gets to the point where you can't stand it any more, then end the friendship. But don't take my word for it. I have some homophobic relatives and they are such sweet people. I don't care about sexuality and such and I understand your discomfort with her open homophobia, seeing that I deal with it but if you're like me, you'd ignore it/stay quiet (because it's the only best thing to do in that situation in my opinion).

EDIT: Not supporting homophobia, by the way. I just don't like to speak against my own family members and cause havoc.

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 3

username1118458

Original post by eggfriedrice

No, you're not overreacting. She's clearly homophobic and doesn't even care that she's being discriminative.

If you think it's disgusting, which it is, you shouldn't be around friends like that. I wouldn't ever want to be friends with any homophobic people, but I would start by telling them to stop whenever they're being homophobic and point out to them that they are. If they ignore it and it continues, eventually I'd just stop being their friend.

If it's not a close friend, and you hardly talk, then I would just forget about it.

Her and her family need to fix up, what is the world coming to where such discrimination still exists...

Reply 4

username1599987

Original post by eggfriedrice

I've had this friend for about a year and she...

I agree with the Community guy above and the Yellowcopter (love the username btw); also, no you are NOT overreacting. This 'female dog' just blatantly blurts out that she's homophobic, normal people don't do that; gosh, imagine what would have happened if she said that she was a racist so openly, there would be riots I tell you! lol

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 5

somemightsay888

I agree with the bloke above, quietly but surely just phase her out. If her family are homophobic then she will have grown up around it and you won't be able to convince her otherwise.

Reply 6

mampfen

Original post by somemightsay888

I agree with the bloke above, quietly but surely just phase her out. If her family are homophobic then she will have grown up around it and you won't be able to convince her otherwise.

True, I have tried to persuade my family members that homosexuals aren't 'disgusting' in that sense (some may be :/) but all I got was a hurl of abuse thrown at me ahaha. Never doing that again.

Reply 7

SnoochToTheBooch

Well what do you expect from a ****ing christian? Rational thought? Sensible opinions?

Reply 8

username1599987

Original post by SnoochToTheBooch

Well what do you expect from a ****ing christian? Rational thought? Sensible opinions?

LOL that's totally what I thought when I read that sentence! She has probably not met many Christians before.

Reply 9

Firenze26

SnoochToTheBooch, isn't that a bit too harsh?

Eggfriedrice, I agree with the others, you aren't overreacting.

It happened to me once, I was talking to someone and they let it slip that being gay is shameful. We argued a bit and I sort of stormed off. We still talk, how can you not when they're close too you, but I try to avoid this topic whenever we talk.

There are three ways, from what I can see in the comments, that you can do. You can either slowly distance yourself from them, ignore their opinions or still be their friend but try and change their views.

P.S.

Sorry for the horrible grammar

Reply 10

digitalfever

Latent discrimination is always the best kind of discrimination. :rolleyes:

Reply 11

SophieSmall

I'd avoid making friends with someone if I knew beforehand that they were homophobic because I just find it unacceptable to be honest. If however I had only just found out and was close to this person depending on the extent of the homophobia I may remain friends with them but if they ever said anything homophobic in front of me I'd call them out for being a horrible **** every time, if however they were directly homophobic to a homosexual I would cut contact immediately.

Reply 12

LeviosaNight

I would probably find out why she's homophobic first and try to understand her point of view, questioning her (nicely) and asking her about discrimination in sexual orientation. if I still find her view disgusting than our values are just too different and it would be torture for both if the friendship continues so just...drift apart, I guess.

Reply 13

Manitude

The view I take is that one opinion does not define a person unless they allow it to define them by constantly referencing it/them. I'm assuming it took a while for you to find this out about your friend? If that's the case then I'd say her views on homosexuals do not define her. Yes it's backwards and inappropriate to be homophobic but presumably other than this she's a generally agreeable person?

I have interacted with people with a wide variety of very extreme views I disagree with (hardline Christians, Muslims, Communists, National Socialists etc), but unless they really can't shut up about whatever extreme views they have I tolerate their presence.

Reply 14

Noble.

Homophobic and Christian... I bet she's the life and soul of a party.

Reply 15

Zarek

Bizarrely Christians tend to be the most homophobic - it's a sin isn't it. If she is a shallow friend anyway you could just move on. If she has redeeming features, for me it's good to stick with it and challenge her misguided views.

Reply 16

SelfImprovement.

That's a shame, I've got a few friends who say some stupid stuff sometimes, I just ignore it and say something like "come on man, really", it does bother me to be honest. As someone who has been in a same Sex relationship it does annoy me.

Reply 17

Maudee4567

If its not something that comes up often just stay friends with her, I also have a few homophobic friends , and some friends with other political opinions etc.
You're never gonna find someone with 100% the same views as you for everything so if it's not too much for you just ignore it

I personally prefer ppl that admit to being something-phobic than the ones that just make snide comments but never admit it

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 18

SnoochToTheBooch

Original post by Firenze26

SnoochToTheBooch, isn't that a bit too harsh?

Nah I stand by my comment. All manner of stupidity is on the table when you're talking about someone who can be taken in by that nonsense.

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 19

eggfriedrice

Original post by gagafacea1

LOL that's totally what I thought when I read that sentence! She has probably not met many Christians before.

Original post by SnoochToTheBooch

Well what do you expect from a ****ing christian? Rational thought? Sensible opinions?

To be honest, I have quite a few Christian friends and they're all lovely. The ones from England are very accepting and have no problems with homosexuality etc. But I have found the international ones have slightly more backwards thinking.

Thanks for the replies everyone. It's amazing seeing so many people being disgusted with the discrimination, I have some faith restored in TSR now (:
As some people have said, since I am already friends with her, and have known her for a year, it seems a shame if I suddenly shut her out of my life. I will continue being friends with her, but our friendship will definitely cool down.