Is it acceptable to end things over text/Facebook message? Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 4 years ago
#1
If I saw this thread title about 3 months ago I would've said no straight away, however now I'm in this position I feel torn about what to do and whether it's the cowardly way...

So I've been with this guy/seeing this guy/in a relationship with this guy for about 6 months. We're long distance and live about 200 miles away, therefore only able to see each other weekends as we both have full time jobs and he works saturday mornings. It was quite full on at first (we met on holiday) and only after about a month we went on holiday again, and he met my parents and vice versa.

However we've never properly defined our relationship, and as we've only seen each other over weekends (about 6 weekends over the course of 6 months...) I've always been too scared to ask what we are, and he's never said it either, although he once called me his girlfriend but he was quite drunk at the time. Anyway, he's been really off since about 2 months ago and not messaging half as much, never asks to see me/says he misses me etc, its all one way and I make the effort to see him and he never visits me. I think he feels like we're stuck in a rut and its not working, but he even told me he never breaks up with girls and its always the girl who breaks up with him.

we've never skyped or spoken on the phone, it's always been Facebook messenger or text message. I think it's best for both of us if we end things and move on, as there really is no future and I think he's lost interest anyway. Would it be really unfair and disrespectful to end things over message? Or should I ring him / visit him? I do like him as a person and want to stay in touch (not sure if he'll feel the same way though)

Really appreciate any advice, and thanks for reading all of my rambling
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Tylerd94
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#2
Report 4 years ago
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(Original post by Anonymous)
If I saw this thread title about 3 months ago I would've said no straight away, however now I'm in this position I feel torn about what to do and whether it's the cowardly way...

So I've been with this guy/seeing this guy/in a relationship with this guy for about 6 months. We're long distance and live about 200 miles away, therefore only able to see each other weekends as we both have full time jobs and he works saturday mornings. It was quite full on at first (we met on holiday) and only after about a month we went on holiday again, and he met my parents and vice versa.

However we've never properly defined our relationship, and as we've only seen each other over weekends (about 6 weekends over the course of 6 months...) I've always been too scared to ask what we are, and he's never said it either, although he once called me his girlfriend but he was quite drunk at the time. Anyway, he's been really off since about 2 months ago and not messaging half as much, never asks to see me/says he misses me etc, its all one way and I make the effort to see him and he never visits me. I think he feels like we're stuck in a rut and its not working, but he even told me he never breaks up with girls and its always the girl who breaks up with him.

we've never skyped or spoken on the phone, it's always been Facebook messenger or text message. I think it's best for both of us if we end things and move on, as there really is no future and I think he's lost interest anyway. Would it be really unfair and disrespectful to end things over message? Or should I ring him / visit him? I do like him as a person and want to stay in touch (not sure if he'll feel the same way though)

Really appreciate any advice, and thanks for reading all of my rambling
Right you need to ask to meet up and ask exactly what is going on if he isn't willing to see you then ask it through text don't break up without knowing the full story if he refuses to explain then he probably has no respect for you and in that instance I'd say break up over text. I'm a firm believer that it is wrong but under circumstances when the other party refuses to see you it seems acceptable I'm talking a bout flat out refuses if he says he'll see you in a week or so acceot that also think is he the one always going to you or do you ever go to him? That could be a factor in why he's becone a little off
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pinkbullets
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Report 4 years ago
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(Original post by Anonymous)
If I saw this thread title about 3 months ago I would've said no straight away, however now I'm in this position I feel torn about what to do and whether it's the cowardly way...

So I've been with this guy/seeing this guy/in a relationship with this guy for about 6 months. We're long distance and live about 200 miles away, therefore only able to see each other weekends as we both have full time jobs and he works saturday mornings. It was quite full on at first (we met on holiday) and only after about a month we went on holiday again, and he met my parents and vice versa.

However we've never properly defined our relationship, and as we've only seen each other over weekends (about 6 weekends over the course of 6 months...) I've always been too scared to ask what we are, and he's never said it either, although he once called me his girlfriend but he was quite drunk at the time. Anyway, he's been really off since about 2 months ago and not messaging half as much, never asks to see me/says he misses me etc, its all one way and I make the effort to see him and he never visits me. I think he feels like we're stuck in a rut and its not working, but he even told me he never breaks up with girls and its always the girl who breaks up with him.

we've never skyped or spoken on the phone, it's always been Facebook messenger or text message. I think it's best for both of us if we end things and move on, as there really is no future and I think he's lost interest anyway. Would it be really unfair and disrespectful to end things over message? Or should I ring him / visit him? I do like him as a person and want to stay in touch (not sure if he'll feel the same way though)

Really appreciate any advice, and thanks for reading all of my rambling
It's a tough one and as he does live so far away and you're not technically official I do think this is one of the few circumstances where it might be okay not to end things in person.

I'd definitely recommend breaking it off via skype/phonecall though as opposed to text/message which would be quite cold. If you're right and he is losing interest then it should be relatively painless.

Good luck.
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Maid Marian
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Report 4 years ago
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At least phone him up.

Doing it over text is really horrible.
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Anonymous #1
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Report Thread starter 4 years ago
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Thank you all for your replies, I think you're all right and the least I can do is phone him and talk to him about it.
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