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Feel rejected by partner.
Hi, my girlfriend and i have been together for 9 months now and i recently told her i love her (as i do) hopeing as everyone would to have said back. Unfortunatly she doesnt seem the same way and still doesnt to this day. As well as this she doesnt want to have sex, im trying to understand that as she might not feel ready or what not but i just feel so rejected and worthless. We are just about to go off to university and i cant see where this relationship is going. Any thoughts or comments would be apreciated, thank you
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Sit down with her and talk about it all, she may geniunely not be ready for sex especially being a virgin and she might be worried. Best to double check where youe exactly stand with each other.
communication is key here. you need to have a serious discussion together about where the relationship is heading (face to face). trust me, you will suffer otherwise.
good luck
good luck
How long have you been with your girlfriend?
*hugs*
*hugs*
Princess_Peach
How long have you been with your girlfriend?
*hugs*
*hugs*
did you at all read what hed actually written? or just see the thread title and decide to post
my girlfriend and i have been together for 9 months now
I know, i just dont want to guilt her into saying or doing something she doesnt mean or want. And i dont want to loose the only person ive ever loved. (im not gay i promise) should i really go in and get what i want to say off my chest? i dont want it to sound like an ultimatum.
Anonymous
I know, i just dont want to guilt her into saying or doing something she doesnt mean or want. And i dont want to loose the only person ive ever loved. (im not gay i promise) should i really go in and get what i want to say off my chest? i dont want it to sound like an ultimatum.
Just ask her politely if anything is wrong, long as you don't sound nasty about it, you should least be able to work something out with her, but the only way you can resolve it is communicating with her your fears.
Anonymous
did you at all read what hed actually written? or just see the thread title and decide to post
Ooops. My bad.
Okay, are you both attending the same uni?
Did you have sex before you told her you love her - or has she stopped wanting sex since you've said it.
Princess_Peach
Ooops. My bad.
Okay, are you both attending the same uni?
Did you have sex before you told her you love her - or has she stopped wanting sex since you've said it.
Okay, are you both attending the same uni?
Did you have sex before you told her you love her - or has she stopped wanting sex since you've said it.
Strike two
Anonymous
As well as this she doesnt want to have sex, im trying to understand that as she might not feel ready
we are deffinatly more than friends, thats not a worry. I guess im having the talk. thankyou all.
hugatree
Why can't she say she loves you too if she's been with you for 9 months?
Maybe it's just developing slowly
I was in the same place as your GF earlier this year. My BF told me he loved me (after being together 3months) but i did not feel the same way at the time. We did have sex, though only once (which was my first time)
and after a while i decided not to sleep within again untill after i'd finished my disertation and exams as i was under alot of stress at the time.
He was in London at uni and i was at uni outsde of london which meant we only saw eachother a couple times a week, and i couldnt stay at his cos he shared a room with his brother and my parents wouldnt let him stay at their home so things were difficult.
Anyway, the few times i did have the opportunity to stay at his i either couldnt cos i was working early the next morning or i made excuses..why i wasnt sure at the time, but i think it was because i didnt necessarliy want to (issues with intimacy i think). After this he came out nd told me that he didnt feel 'wanted' by me and he also felt rejected. So we talked about it and i was honest about how i felt and afterwards we both felt better. He made it clear that it wasnt to do with sex and was happy to wait till i was ready.
However, nearly 2 months later i realised i didnt want to be with him and and kind of began to push him away and finally broke up.
Although i had issues within myself, he told one of his bestfriends, who was a mutual friend of mine and my bestfriends sister, that he was thinking of breaking up with me, which i heard from my best friend after her sister got drunk and accidently told her. Her sister was vague about his reasons, tho she thought it maybe to do with sex and the fact that after being together for 7weeks, i didnt want to stay at his and therefore he assumed i wasnt attracted to him. This messed with my head quite abit as i was falling for him at the time. Though, because i heard it from someone else i couldnt bring it up with him directly. so instead i kind of brought up the issue of whether we should break up at which point he acted really offended and shocked, which i took to mean he changed his mind etc. So after a few weeks i got over it, (so had thought) and after a while we slept together and things were great, tho suddenly i started to resent him and couldnt understand why, then a few months later we broke up, with him being completely baffled and thinking i was a nut case lol. I couldnt even give him an explanation because i was unsure in my self, untill i realised that i unconsciously never got over what he'd said.
If i could go back i would have told him that i knew, as he acted like he' was a martyr and i was 'just like every other girl' tho i was under pressure from my best friend not to tell him because it would ruin her sisters relationship with him. I still see him now and then and wish i could just tell him tho things are awkward enoughlol
So ur GF may either;
1 be not ready to sleep with u
2 not want to either because shes under stress or confused about how she feels about you...maybe you've done something that may have made her feel insecure? or from another relationship
3 you did say ur both going off to uni so maybe she's afraid that you may grow apart or something and so by not sleeping with u or saying i love u back shes trying to prevent herself and you getting closer/and or hurt.
Sorry 4 the long post, i gave way too much info but it actually felt good to write it down!! Good luck and i hope u sort things out x
and after a while i decided not to sleep within again untill after i'd finished my disertation and exams as i was under alot of stress at the time.
He was in London at uni and i was at uni outsde of london which meant we only saw eachother a couple times a week, and i couldnt stay at his cos he shared a room with his brother and my parents wouldnt let him stay at their home so things were difficult.
Anyway, the few times i did have the opportunity to stay at his i either couldnt cos i was working early the next morning or i made excuses..why i wasnt sure at the time, but i think it was because i didnt necessarliy want to (issues with intimacy i think). After this he came out nd told me that he didnt feel 'wanted' by me and he also felt rejected. So we talked about it and i was honest about how i felt and afterwards we both felt better. He made it clear that it wasnt to do with sex and was happy to wait till i was ready.
However, nearly 2 months later i realised i didnt want to be with him and and kind of began to push him away and finally broke up.
Although i had issues within myself, he told one of his bestfriends, who was a mutual friend of mine and my bestfriends sister, that he was thinking of breaking up with me, which i heard from my best friend after her sister got drunk and accidently told her. Her sister was vague about his reasons, tho she thought it maybe to do with sex and the fact that after being together for 7weeks, i didnt want to stay at his and therefore he assumed i wasnt attracted to him. This messed with my head quite abit as i was falling for him at the time. Though, because i heard it from someone else i couldnt bring it up with him directly. so instead i kind of brought up the issue of whether we should break up at which point he acted really offended and shocked, which i took to mean he changed his mind etc. So after a few weeks i got over it, (so had thought) and after a while we slept together and things were great, tho suddenly i started to resent him and couldnt understand why, then a few months later we broke up, with him being completely baffled and thinking i was a nut case lol. I couldnt even give him an explanation because i was unsure in my self, untill i realised that i unconsciously never got over what he'd said.
If i could go back i would have told him that i knew, as he acted like he' was a martyr and i was 'just like every other girl' tho i was under pressure from my best friend not to tell him because it would ruin her sisters relationship with him. I still see him now and then and wish i could just tell him tho things are awkward enoughlol
So ur GF may either;
1 be not ready to sleep with u
2 not want to either because shes under stress or confused about how she feels about you...maybe you've done something that may have made her feel insecure? or from another relationship
3 you did say ur both going off to uni so maybe she's afraid that you may grow apart or something and so by not sleeping with u or saying i love u back shes trying to prevent herself and you getting closer/and or hurt.
Sorry 4 the long post, i gave way too much info but it actually felt good to write it down!! Good luck and i hope u sort things out x
I was in the same place as your GF earlier this year. My BF told me he loved me (after being together 3months) but i did not feel the same way at the time. We did have sex, though only once (which was my first time)
and after a while i decided not to sleep within again untill after i'd finished my disertation and exams as i was under alot of stress at the time.
He was in London at uni and i was at uni outsde of london which meant we only saw eachother a couple times a week, and i couldnt stay at his cos he shared a room with his brother and my parents wouldnt let him stay at their home so things were difficult.
Anyway, the few times i did have the opportunity to stay at his i either couldnt cos i was working early the next morning or i made excuses..why i wasnt sure at the time, but i think it was because i didnt necessarliy want to (issues with intimacy i think). After this he came out nd told me that he didnt feel 'wanted' by me and he also felt rejected. So we talked about it and i was honest about how i felt and afterwards we both felt better. He made it clear that it wasnt to do with sex and was happy to wait till i was ready.
However, nearly 2 months later i realised i didnt want to be with him and and kind of began to push him away and finally broke up.
Although i had issues within myself, he told one of his bestfriends, who was a mutual friend of mine and my bestfriends sister, that he was thinking of breaking up with me, which i heard from my best friend after her sister got drunk and accidently told her. Her sister was vague about his reasons, tho she thought it maybe to do with sex and the fact that after being together for 7weeks, i didnt want to stay at his and therefore he assumed i wasnt attracted to him. This messed with my head quite abit as i was falling for him at the time. Though, because i heard it from someone else i couldnt bring it up with him directly. so instead i kind of brought up the issue of whether we should break up at which point he acted really offended and shocked, which i took to mean he changed his mind etc. So after a few weeks i got over it, (so had thought) and after a while we slept together and things were great, tho suddenly i started to resent him and couldnt understand why, then a few months later we broke up, with him being completely baffled and thinking i was a nut case lol. I couldnt even give him an explanation because i was unsure in my self, untill i realised that i unconsciously never got over what he'd said.
If i could go back i would have told him that i knew, as he acted like he' was a martyr and i was 'just like every other girl' tho i was under pressure from my best friend not to tell him because it would ruin her sisters relationship with him. I still see him now and then and wish i could just tell him tho things are awkward enoughlol
So ur GF may either;
1 be not ready to sleep with u
2 not want to either because shes under stress or confused about how she feels about you...maybe you've done something that may have made her feel insecure? or from another relationship
3 you did say ur both going off to uni so maybe she's afraid that you may grow apart or something and so by not sleeping with u or saying i love u back shes trying to prevent herself and you getting closer/and or hurt.
Sorry 4 the long post, i gave way too much info but it actually felt good to write it down!! Good luck and i hope u sort things out x
and after a while i decided not to sleep within again untill after i'd finished my disertation and exams as i was under alot of stress at the time.
He was in London at uni and i was at uni outsde of london which meant we only saw eachother a couple times a week, and i couldnt stay at his cos he shared a room with his brother and my parents wouldnt let him stay at their home so things were difficult.
Anyway, the few times i did have the opportunity to stay at his i either couldnt cos i was working early the next morning or i made excuses..why i wasnt sure at the time, but i think it was because i didnt necessarliy want to (issues with intimacy i think). After this he came out nd told me that he didnt feel 'wanted' by me and he also felt rejected. So we talked about it and i was honest about how i felt and afterwards we both felt better. He made it clear that it wasnt to do with sex and was happy to wait till i was ready.
However, nearly 2 months later i realised i didnt want to be with him and and kind of began to push him away and finally broke up.
Although i had issues within myself, he told one of his bestfriends, who was a mutual friend of mine and my bestfriends sister, that he was thinking of breaking up with me, which i heard from my best friend after her sister got drunk and accidently told her. Her sister was vague about his reasons, tho she thought it maybe to do with sex and the fact that after being together for 7weeks, i didnt want to stay at his and therefore he assumed i wasnt attracted to him. This messed with my head quite abit as i was falling for him at the time. Though, because i heard it from someone else i couldnt bring it up with him directly. so instead i kind of brought up the issue of whether we should break up at which point he acted really offended and shocked, which i took to mean he changed his mind etc. So after a few weeks i got over it, (so had thought) and after a while we slept together and things were great, tho suddenly i started to resent him and couldnt understand why, then a few months later we broke up, with him being completely baffled and thinking i was a nut case lol. I couldnt even give him an explanation because i was unsure in my self, untill i realised that i unconsciously never got over what he'd said.
If i could go back i would have told him that i knew, as he acted like he' was a martyr and i was 'just like every other girl' tho i was under pressure from my best friend not to tell him because it would ruin her sisters relationship with him. I still see him now and then and wish i could just tell him tho things are awkward enoughlol
So ur GF may either;
1 be not ready to sleep with u
2 not want to either because shes under stress or confused about how she feels about you...maybe you've done something that may have made her feel insecure? or from another relationship
3 you did say ur both going off to uni so maybe she's afraid that you may grow apart or something and so by not sleeping with u or saying i love u back shes trying to prevent herself and you getting closer/and or hurt.
Sorry 4 the long post, i gave way too much info but it actually felt good to write it down!! Good luck and i hope u sort things out x
Anonymous
I was in the same place as your GF earlier this year. My BF told me he loved me (after being together 3months) but i did not feel the same way at the time. We did have sex, though only once (which was my first time)
and after a while i decided not to sleep within again untill after i'd finished my disertation and exams as i was under alot of stress at the time.
He was in London at uni and i was at uni outsde of london which meant we only saw eachother a couple times a week, and i couldnt stay at his cos he shared a room with his brother and my parents wouldnt let him stay at their home so things were difficult.
Anyway, the few times i did have the opportunity to stay at his i either couldnt cos i was working early the next morning or i made excuses..why i wasnt sure at the time, but i think it was because i didnt necessarliy want to (issues with intimacy i think). After this he came out nd told me that he didnt feel 'wanted' by me and he also felt rejected. So we talked about it and i was honest about how i felt and afterwards we both felt better. He made it clear that it wasnt to do with sex and was happy to wait till i was ready.
However, nearly 2 months later i realised i didnt want to be with him and and kind of began to push him away and finally broke up.
Although i had issues within myself, he told one of his bestfriends, who was a mutual friend of mine and my bestfriends sister, that he was thinking of breaking up with me, which i heard from my best friend after her sister got drunk and accidently told her. Her sister was vague about his reasons, tho she thought it maybe to do with sex and the fact that after being together for 7weeks, i didnt want to stay at his and therefore he assumed i wasnt attracted to him. This messed with my head quite abit as i was falling for him at the time. Though, because i heard it from someone else i couldnt bring it up with him directly. so instead i kind of brought up the issue of whether we should break up at which point he acted really offended and shocked, which i took to mean he changed his mind etc. So after a few weeks i got over it, (so had thought) and after a while we slept together and things were great, tho suddenly i started to resent him and couldnt understand why, then a few months later we broke up, with him being completely baffled and thinking i was a nut case lol. I couldnt even give him an explanation because i was unsure in my self, untill i realised that i unconsciously never got over what he'd said.
If i could go back i would have told him that i knew, as he acted like he' was a martyr and i was 'just like every other girl' tho i was under pressure from my best friend not to tell him because it would ruin her sisters relationship with him. I still see him now and then and wish i could just tell him tho things are awkward enoughlol
So ur GF may either;
1 be not ready to sleep with u
2 not want to either because shes under stress or confused about how she feels about you...maybe you've done something that may have made her feel insecure? or from another relationship
3 you did say ur both going off to uni so maybe she's afraid that you may grow apart or something and so by not sleeping with u or saying i love u back shes trying to prevent herself and you getting closer/and or hurt.
Sorry 4 the long post, i gave way too much info but it actually felt good to write it down!! Good luck and i hope u sort things out x
and after a while i decided not to sleep within again untill after i'd finished my disertation and exams as i was under alot of stress at the time.
He was in London at uni and i was at uni outsde of london which meant we only saw eachother a couple times a week, and i couldnt stay at his cos he shared a room with his brother and my parents wouldnt let him stay at their home so things were difficult.
Anyway, the few times i did have the opportunity to stay at his i either couldnt cos i was working early the next morning or i made excuses..why i wasnt sure at the time, but i think it was because i didnt necessarliy want to (issues with intimacy i think). After this he came out nd told me that he didnt feel 'wanted' by me and he also felt rejected. So we talked about it and i was honest about how i felt and afterwards we both felt better. He made it clear that it wasnt to do with sex and was happy to wait till i was ready.
However, nearly 2 months later i realised i didnt want to be with him and and kind of began to push him away and finally broke up.
Although i had issues within myself, he told one of his bestfriends, who was a mutual friend of mine and my bestfriends sister, that he was thinking of breaking up with me, which i heard from my best friend after her sister got drunk and accidently told her. Her sister was vague about his reasons, tho she thought it maybe to do with sex and the fact that after being together for 7weeks, i didnt want to stay at his and therefore he assumed i wasnt attracted to him. This messed with my head quite abit as i was falling for him at the time. Though, because i heard it from someone else i couldnt bring it up with him directly. so instead i kind of brought up the issue of whether we should break up at which point he acted really offended and shocked, which i took to mean he changed his mind etc. So after a few weeks i got over it, (so had thought) and after a while we slept together and things were great, tho suddenly i started to resent him and couldnt understand why, then a few months later we broke up, with him being completely baffled and thinking i was a nut case lol. I couldnt even give him an explanation because i was unsure in my self, untill i realised that i unconsciously never got over what he'd said.
If i could go back i would have told him that i knew, as he acted like he' was a martyr and i was 'just like every other girl' tho i was under pressure from my best friend not to tell him because it would ruin her sisters relationship with him. I still see him now and then and wish i could just tell him tho things are awkward enoughlol
So ur GF may either;
1 be not ready to sleep with u
2 not want to either because shes under stress or confused about how she feels about you...maybe you've done something that may have made her feel insecure? or from another relationship
3 you did say ur both going off to uni so maybe she's afraid that you may grow apart or something and so by not sleeping with u or saying i love u back shes trying to prevent herself and you getting closer/and or hurt.
Sorry 4 the long post, i gave way too much info but it actually felt good to write it down!! Good luck and i hope u sort things out x
I think your boyfriend geniunely loved and cared about you, but because you was pushing him away that was probably the reason he let slip he wanted to break up, he probably hated being shoved out of the way.
Maybe you just wasn't ready for this kind of committment, but the way it was going it was probably best to break up.
Jelkin
Do you only go out with people you're already in love with???
I can't have sex with people I don't have a crush on. What am I, a slut? To LOVE them though, they need to be your best friend. Meeting random people in a pub and the next day you're "in a relationship" with them, that's just ridiculous. You break up because it didn't work out right - off course it didn't, you don't know the person!
FYI, I've only had 2 bfs, one of which I love and one because I was young and thought I loved him but in the end I really didn't, he was just a friend.
Well ladies and gentlemen, today i talked with my girlfriend about all of the above topics. Im not sure what to tell you all, in simplest terms she only wants to 'give' herself to one man in her life, and at this stage in her life she is not sure it is me. It seems there are a few differences in the way we feel about things in the form of religion and relationships. I am an athiest and she is catholic. We have a non-penetrative 'sexual' relationship which im trying to enjoy, to be honest i wish we could have a passionate sexual relationship with her but it seems i may never have that. What are your thoughts? If she doesnt love me now will she ever? what can i do to change how se feels aout me? roses, romance, wine and dine. ive tried them all. please help
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