Guy in friend group acting weird with me and it's annoying! Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 4 years ago
#1
This is a pretty standard issue but I would love some advice.

I'm in a big group of friends in my student halls this year- all from different unis and different ages, but we all get along great. There is this guy who admittedly I think is cute, but I just want to be friends because I'm older than him and I kind of just want to keep things friendly and not really get involved with anyone I live with you know? So all the other guys (and girls lol) are super nice to me, involve me, talk to me and seem to like me- it's not that he doesn't, but he doesn't initiate conversation. If I enter the room or he enters the room, he'll never say hi to me (maybe we're all so comfortable with each other we don't need to or something? idk) and he will never just come over, or sit next to me and talk to me, though he does it with other people and other girls.

But .. I don't know how to explain it, but I know that it's not because he hates me, I don't know whether he 'likes' me, probably not, but it's just strange behaviour. And I mean he'll talk and laugh with me when we're all in group convos, but like won't look directly at me most of the time or won't say anything directly to me. He'll talk about me or make fun of me (jokingly not in a mean way) but we can't just seem to have a normal conversation just one on one. And he'll casually talk about things that he knows I like, but in conversation to other people, not to me, within hearing range of me. And I mean we've talked earlier on text, where we had a long conversation one night about something and he was really nice, but the next day it's like it didn't happen. Now I'm getting into that headspace where it's an ego thing and I'm trying not to act like I would have a couple years back where I ignore him completely lol, like I do try and talk to him or look at him in the group and stuff but he's making it so difficult. I don't really want to give him the satisfaction (if he even cares) of asking him about it, but how do I start talking to him more outside of just random comments in a group discussion? Usually as the night progresses, he'll talk to me more or if I'm drunk or something, but usually it's like he doesn't want to seem like he's interested in talking to me at all (just as a friend, not even something more!). Oh and he is super social amongst the group. And like I said, it's not like he hates me or completely shuns me, we are friends, it's just subtle behaviour that I've noticed and I want to change it before it becomes the norm.

Please any advice would be really appreciated, should I just fight my constant need to never look eager/desperate and just go sit next to him and start a conversation or something?
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KadeK
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#2
Report 4 years ago
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You say you're not going to give him the satisfaction of asking him about it- but why not? I'm confused as to why he'd find that satisfying? Because you came to him and it would give him an ego boost?

In any case, you're not going to know what his issue is (100 percent) without asking him directly.
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Anonymous #1
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Report Thread starter 4 years ago
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(Original post by KadeK)
You say you're not going to give him the satisfaction of asking him about it- but why not? I'm confused as to why he'd find that satisfying? Because you came to him and it would give him an ego boost?

In any case, you're not going to know what his issue is (100 percent) without asking him directly.
I know, but it's not like he does it obviously enough for me to be like 'ok why do you have an issue with me?' because he doesn't, but it's just a subtle thing. So if I do ask him, I'll probably just come off looking crazy and it would make things even more awkward. One of my friends (also in the group) has noticed though, she mentioned recently that she felt he was acting weirdly with me and not with her. Just today as well he sent a text in our group chat about a band that I have mentioned in no uncertain terms that I LOVE and was like oh gemma (fake name) thought you'd interested in this.. "gemma"s another girl in the group. It's super weird and I really want to be like 'um gemma only, do you not remember me saying they're my fav band ever lol?' like in a funny way or something but I'm considering just leaving it because I'm feeling like it's some weird game he's playing. Kinda getting super annoyed now.
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Anonymous #1
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Report Thread starter 4 years ago
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Bump. Any responses please? i know it's not anything scandalous and entertaining but help a sista out?!
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