Housemate Problems Watch

Queen_Elsa
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#1
Report Thread starter 4 years ago
#1
I don't know where else to ask for advice but this issue is making my life seriously miserable and I don't know what to do about it.

I am living in a house with a lot of other girls, and it is always quite stressful but there is one person in particular making my life hell. She is one of my friends friends, and is one of these high maintenance people who demands everyone to love her, but will not extend the courtesy to them also.

She picks on me for everything, for example: she is ridiculously rude, telling me I'm pathetic if I complain about my things going missing (which happens a lot), that I should f*** off and get over it and that if I have an issue with sharing my things, bearing in mind its things that only I have paid for and they are not communally placed, and if I keep causing drama by asking who's used it that I should move out, live on the streets and live on my own. It wouldn't be so hard if any of the others stood up for me or told her she was out of line once in a while, to her face rather than to me behind her back, but they won't.

Most of the others girls all tell me they have a problem with her too, but they will never say it to her face because they won't confront her as she is one of these people who has her way with words and can shoot you down with a few sentences.

I am going through multiple stresses at the moment with a huge load of uni work, trying to apply for and organise placements, work enough hours to pay rent and bills, and this is just eating at me so much that I don't want to spend time in the house that I am paying almost £500 a month for.

I don't know if there is any advice on how to deal with this but its also helped to have a rant about this and I just hope someone can understand what I'm going through!
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Seriously Plush
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If she doesn't live with you, you can tell her to leave.

She won't listen I imagine.

You need to then speak to the estate agent, landlord, and police in that order.

She is not entitled to verbally abuse you in your home. Furthermore, if you can prove (i.e camera) that she has taken your food, you can have her arrested for theft.

In fact, you should just record her behaviour when she is being abusive. Problem solved.

Source: Former Cop.
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doodle_333
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to be honest it is unlikely you will be able to do anything unless A. your other housemates team up with you and B. she actually listens to them and changes

in the meantime keep all your stuff in your room
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indigobluesss
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Aw, that's awful dude. No one should go through that.

But fear not, you shouldn't suffer in silence. I think you should treat this problem in a simple and adult-like manner. Speak to her firmly, to try and get her to stop, if that doesn't work then you'll have no choice but to speak to your housing adviser AND your university support team to see if further action is needed
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Seriously Plush
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(Original post by doodle_333)
to be honest it is unlikely you will be able to do anything unless A. your other housemates team up with you and B. she actually listens to them and changes

in the meantime keep all your stuff in your room

Did you read my post? Complete rubbish that she will be unable to do anything.
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doodle_333
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(Original post by Seriously Plush)
Did you read my post? Complete rubbish that she will be unable to do anything.
I really doubt many police officers would appreciate being called out because this girl's flatmate is being rude to her, she's out of order but she's hardly making death threats and physically attacking her and since she is her housemate she can't kick her out

and unfortunately whoever owns the property has no interest in kicking her out as they will struggle to get money from her
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Seriously Plush
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(Original post by doodle_333)
I really doubt many police officers would appreciate being called out because this girl's flatmate is being rude to her, she's out of order but she's hardly making death threats and physically attacking her and since she is her housemate she can't kick her out

and unfortunately whoever owns the property has no interest in kicking her out as they will struggle to get money from her
Complete *******s. If you're uncomfortable where you live you need to do something about it.

I'm an ex-cop, so how can you tell me what the police is and isn't willing to do?

Your passiveness isn't helpful.

P.S - i'm not trying to be harsh, i'm trying to support this person! Good suggestion to speak to your university about it.
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doodle_333
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(Original post by Seriously Plush)
Complete *******s. If you're uncomfortable where you live you need to do something about it.

I'm an ex-cop, so how can you tell me what the police is and isn't willing to do?

Your passiveness isn't helpful.

P.S - i'm not trying to be harsh, i'm trying to support this person! Good suggestion to speak to your university about it.
it's not about being passive it's about picking your battles, I lived with a horrible flatmate for a whole year and spent about 9 months of that trying to 'fix' the situation, I couldn't and it just made me feel twice as bad to obsess over it the whole time and be constantly met with resistance from anyone I tried to gain help from, much better to try and ignore her/confront her if possible and stay out of her way

what crime would they arrest this girl for?

I really dislike it when people argue with other advice directly, if you don't agree that's fine, you've given your opinion and OP can decide for herself what advice she wants to follow
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Seriously Plush
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(Original post by doodle_333)
it's not about being passive it's about picking your battles, I lived with a horrible flatmate for a whole year and spent about 9 months of that trying to 'fix' the situation, I couldn't and it just made me feel twice as bad to obsess over it the whole time and be constantly met with resistance from anyone I tried to gain help from, much better to try and ignore her/confront her if possible and stay out of her way

what crime would they arrest this girl for?

I really dislike it when people argue with other advice directly, if you don't agree that's fine, you've given your opinion and OP can decide for herself what advice she wants to follow
Sorry to hear you had to suffer like that. You've been let down by several agencies then; hence as a result you present a defeatist attitude to this problem.

The police could arrest for breach of the peace if it kicked off whilst they were there, otherwise they would make a referral to the landlord and/or estate agent, which undoubtedly would take action then following police involvement.

As i've said, I think filming it kicking off is a great idea. I had a terrible housemate years back, and for some reason the idea never crossed my mind at the time.

Cheers.
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