Oh god I'm so stressed and last time I felt like this was this time last year and I managed to **** all that up completely - I had to work my sodding arse off in term 2 to make my grades up, and I just can't do that this time, next term I've got an additional module as well as the write up of my project.
I've so so much to do and I don't know where to start, and I've got an immunology exam two weeks today and it's all just impossible. I knew I shouldn't have taken a medical school module where the average biosciences mark is 51%. I feel so behind in everything and like I don't even know the basics, and this is what I felt like last year for animal ecophys, and I ended up with a 2.2 in that module.
Plus, pretty sure my supervisor dislikes me, I never have anything to say or to ask him, and when he asks me basic questions that I should know, I can never think of the answer on the spot, I've just lost my ability to explain anything recently and it's like my brain doesn't work fast enough anymore. I have so much project work to do, feel like I shouldn't have taken on such a big one, but I was still riding out my high of 76% in genomics and bioinformatics last year
Pretty sure my supervisor thinks I'm an idiot, which bodes well for MSc or PhD applications
And tbh, if I'm feeling like this about third year, should I even be contemplating doing further ed.
Feel like I'm falling apart tbh, all I've ever been good is academia, it's who I am, but it turns out that actually maybe I'm not all that good at it after all.
also I seem to spend an inordinate amount of my time thinking about the boy, and I don't appreciate this, I wish he would **** off out of my mind. maybe I'll become celibate. maybe I can go back to being the heartless bitch from before who didn't give a **** about anyones feelings...
Wow this was an essay.
kill me.