Cant help being anti social

Hi everyone.

I'm due to start uni soon but I have a few barriers to fitting in.

1. I'm a 'mature' student. I'm 24. Most of my classmates will be 18. I'm not sure if they'd want to hang with me due to the age difference.

2. I live at home and I will be commuting into uni each day on the train. Most of my classmates will be living in.

3. I'm not a party animal. I don't enjoy going out every night and getting drunk out of my skull. Once a month is far than enough for me.

I don't mean to sound like a pessimistic old granny, but I'm worried that I wont make any friends because of my differences :frown:

Do you guys have any thoughts/advice to share?

Reply 1

beach surf babe

I'm 18 and work with people who are about 24 and I barely notice the difference so I doubt they will at uni. Also you don't have to get total drunk or even drink at all, as long as your there and up for fun it should be fine. If you commute in, you'll have to make more effort on nights out but I'll bet it'll be worth it-you might not be in the centre of the fun and games but it doesn't mean you'll get left out either.

Reply 2

Princess_Peach

Thank you.

Luckily I look 18 (lol) so I can blend in if I don't bare my age. Once that info is out I'm not sure what folks will think.

This is my second degree you see. I decided to move from teaching to law.

Reply 3

Bluebeing

Don't worry about being older than everyone. I'm 18, but I have loads of friends who are in their twenties, and it doesn't make things any different between us. As long as you don't around making a big issue of the age difference, it shouldn't make any difference. Just act naturally with the people on your course. I also have a lot of friends who are younger than me, but we all get on fine because none of us really bother about our ages.

It will be hard if you're not staying in halls, but I would recommend trying to get as involved in the uni life as possible, don't go home straight after lectures and things, go out with people, or join some clubs in the evenings. If you don't like going out, joining clubs and societies is also a really good way to meet people and make friends.

Reply 4

*starry_eyed_*

1. I'm a 'mature' student. I'm 24. Most of my classmates will be 18. I'm not sure if they'd want to hang with me due to the age difference.

In quite a few of my classes, there are more mature students than 18year olds..we all get on though!

2. I live at home and I will be commuting into uni each day on the train. Most of my classmates will be living in.

You won't be the only one who's commuting I'm sure. Just say hi to everyone and everyone. Don't start uni thinking you'll be an outsider. :smile:

3. I'm not a party animal. I don't enjoy going out every night and getting drunk out of my skull. Once a month is far than enough for me.

As much as its hyped up, I've found that just after two weeks of being at uni, not everyone feels the need to go out every night. There's not enough money for that! You say you go ut occassionally- thats good enough!

Reply 5

Psyk

Princess_Peach

Luckily I look 18 (lol) so I can blend in if I don't bare my age. Once that info is out I'm not sure what folks will think.

Seriously, no one will care about the age difference. I know a few people that are a bit older and they have no problems making friends, and no one finds it weird that they are older.

Reply 6

Eru Iluvatar

The age difference wont be a big deal at all.
Not living near the uni is the only one of those i would say is likely to cause some problems, as i live a fair bit away from uni, and it did make things harder, but the rest of it is fine, so don't worry about it.

Reply 7

The_Bear

Yeah the living distance will mean you won't just be able to hang out with uni friends. Shouldnt be that big a problem though.

Reply 8

Princess_Peach

Eru Iluvatar

Thank you for your advice.

Can you describe how the distance was a problem for you? Any difficulties you experienced, etc.

Reply 9

mogpot

Well everyone's saying it, and I agree. The age difference won't matter at all. In college we had mature students who were 60+ and we all laughed and joked the same as anyone our own age. They were awesome, and had so much more to contribute to the studio.

And drinking? Well some of us aren't party animals either :p:

we're planning on small room parties with some bottles of vodka and stuff...avoid the crowds and get to know each other....so not every fresher is going to be out clubbing, you don't have to feel out of it, a lot of people actually prefer their own space. And their wallets prefer them to stay at home too!

Living off campus? Lucky you, more than anything. You can leave any stress behind and go back to your personal world that had more memories than a freshers week and some strange new friends :smile:

Reply 10

Dragon24

I lived off campus for 3 years and so did many other people on my course commuted too - which didn't make me feel left out. In the first year we used to go out with the students from campus but stopped in the later years as the workload became quite heavy so we hardly went out. Give it a chance before judging what you think will happen. :smile:

I thought I would be the only commuter, was quite shocked! Lol.

Reply 11

Eru Iluvatar

Princess_Peach

Thank you for your advice.

Can you describe how the distance was a problem for you? Any difficulties you experienced, etc.

Just the general socialisation that goes on between people who live in or around halls at the start of uni, it makes it harder in the beginning to get to know people, as well as not being around for whatever inpromptu get togethers etc just happen.

Reply 12

foss

don't worry about it. you don't always have to get drunk. just stay off the alcohol and try to get to know ppl. then you should fit right in. tbh i doubt anyone will notise that your 24 unless you specifically tell them!

Reply 13

Princess_Peach

Dr_Wytch

Living off campus? Lucky you, more than anything. You can leave any stress behind and go back to your personal world that had more memories than a freshers week and some strange new friends :smile:

hee hee that's a new way to look at it. "Leaving the stress (and vomit stained streets) behind" :wink:

Angel83

I lived off campus for 3 years and so did many other people on my course commuted too

It seems that at my new uni (Durham) most people live in. I haven't spoken to a single commuter. Granted I've just been talking online so far. My first day is tomorrow.

P.S. Sooty FTW!

Reply 14

Renza

Princess_Peach

Hi everyone.

I'm due to start uni soon but I have a few barriers to fitting in.

1. I'm a 'mature' student. I'm 24. Most of my classmates will be 18. I'm not sure if they'd want to hang with me due to the age difference.

Has your university not organised social events for mature students? You probably don't want to hang out with 30 year olds but if you do find it difficult to mix with the younger folk maybe you'll find people your age at the socials.

Reply 15

LadyEnglish

If you're only in for lectures why are you uber worried about making friends? you won't be talking in the lecture so it hardly matters. However I think you're worrying too much over nothing. People make friends of all ages, you're probably having pre uni jitters :p:

Good luck with everything xxx

Reply 16

Princess_Peach

Thanks people ^_^ I really appreciate your advice.

During my first degree (completed at Sunderland Uni), there was little emphasis placed on getting drunk, socialising, events, balls, etc. But Durham seems VERY different.

Reply 17

LukeatForest

I'm 18, travelling to Uni, and not a party animal. See, there are 18 year-olds who have your characteristics. Maybe if you stopped worrying about it, you'd be better off as well.