Does playing hard to get work with a guy? Watch

sophia44
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The only reason I am doing this is because I don't want to be taken for granted and I don't want to be the only one making all the effort. I don't want him to have all the power in this relationship. But honestly is it worth it? or is it futile to play hard to get??
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JC.
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Sounds like bull**** mind games to me.
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DErasmus
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its incredibly annoying

usually lose interest unless you give me a reason to stay
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Andy98
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(Original post by sophia44)
The only reason I am doing this is because I don't want to be taken for granted and I don't want to be the only one making all the effort. I don't want him to have all the power in this relationship. But honestly is it worth it? or is it futile to play hard to get??
Depends on the guy really, but for me I'd just think "Ahhh, another rejection" and move on.
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natninja
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(Original post by sophia44)
The only reason I am doing this is because I don't want to be taken for granted and I don't want to be the only one making all the effort. I don't want him to have all the power in this relationship. But honestly is it worth it? or is it futile to play hard to get??
People like me see an immature insecure woman and stop bothering. If you want something make a bit of an effort to get it or you'll lose it.

In fact a girl that basically asked me to ask her out is now doing it... I texted her to basically tell her that if that was what she's doing it ain't gonna work...
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nicatre
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If you like someone then there's one thing to do: tell them.

If they reciprocate then be honest about expectations but don't bother with the mind games bull****.
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DErasmus
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In fact I can't think of a single instance when someone would consider this a good thing.
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inachigeek21
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Playing hard to get is, quite simply, ******* annoying.
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HandmadeTurnip
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I wouldn't really want to be in a relationship with someone who's immature enough to play games like that.
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sophia44
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First of all i am not playing any games!!!!. It probably sounds that way but it is my last resort. I have had enough of making all the effort and i just look clingy as **** so i have backed off. Secondly i am in no way immature haha! This is happening to me. All i want is for him to understand from my perspective and give me the same respect. I have worded the question terribly and that isn't my style because i have had it done to me and it isn't fun. But he keeps playing with my mind and feelings and i don't deserve to be treated like that but i like him too much. What i meant to say was that i don't want to be appear clingy and just want my relationship to go back to normal but i am not sure how to go about doing so.

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lerjj
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To be honest, it just sounds like he doesn't like you. I don't think either throwing yourself at him OR playing hard to get will actually work. But if by the latter, you mean "leaving him alone for a little, then maybe trying again"... that would be the better option IMO.
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sophia44
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Honestly he does like me but not as much as he did because of my paranoia from previous relationships and it got to him which is my fault and i understand. Yeah that is what i am doing,i haven't spoke to him for a few days. I am just so confused
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indigobluesss
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I genuinely hate people who do that
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cole-slaw
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(Original post by sophia44)
The only reason I am doing this is because I don't want to be taken for granted and I don't want to be the only one making all the effort. I don't want him to have all the power in this relationship. But honestly is it worth it? or is it futile to play hard to get??
If by "work" you mean drive ever man you meet away and end up dying lonely and alone, then yes, it "works" like a treat.
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sophia44
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Okay it wasn't meant to sound like that,so what can i do for him to start making an effort??

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cole-slaw
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(Original post by sophia44)
First of all i am not playing any games!!!!. It probably sounds that way but it is my last resort. I have had enough of making all the effort and i just look clingy as **** so i have backed off. Secondly i am in no way immature haha! This is happening to me. All i want is for him to understand from my perspective and give me the same respect. I have worded the question terribly and that isn't my style because i have had it done to me and it isn't fun. But he keeps playing with my mind and feelings and i don't deserve to be treated like that but i like him too much. What i meant to say was that i don't want to be appear clingy and just want my relationship to go back to normal but i am not sure how to go about doing so.

If you think he is messing you around, then confront him about it, and if things don't change, then break up with him. Don't play games back, two wrongs don't make a right.

Simple.
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sophia44
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What should i say to him?,i mean everytime i tell him to make an effort he says okay i am trying or when i said he doesn't he says i do. It drives me mad.
Yeah you're right

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Sloe&AppleJelly
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You don't so much need to play hard to get, as you just need to sit this guy down and talk to him. It might be that you need to back off a little on the clinginess, and he needs to put some effort in, and you can discuss this together. Playing hard to get will just confuse things for you more, you need to simply be communicative with this guy.
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xylas
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As a man who recently divorced, I can tell you I know a lot about a woman playing hard to get.

Do not do it. Once trust is gone from the relationship it will NEVER come back. If you really like the guy then you will be taking a very high risk for some small benefit which I have never seen come to fruition.

Contrary to popular belief or myth, men are very good at knowing what their partner is up to. I can promise that all men are like that because when they are interested in someone they like to know everything about her - what makes them tick, what puts a smile on her face etc. A suitable partner is one who will not cause problems for him and is easy to be with. If you are already there my only advice would be not to deviate from it. With all my friends, the moment they felt their girlfriends were playing around with them, their relationship became very difficult and lo and behold none of them lasted in the end.

Tl;dr: Men are simple but not stupid. Playing hard to get is more likely to decrease desirability and there are most certainly other (easier) ways to achieve this.
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sophia44
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(Original post by xylas)
As a man who recently divorced, I can tell you I know a lot about a woman playing hard to get.

Do not do it. Once trust is gone from the relationship it will NEVER come back. If you really like the guy then you will be taking a very high risk for some small benefit which I have never seen come to fruition.

Contrary to popular belief or myth, men are very good at knowing what their partner is up to. I can promise that all men are like that because when they are interested in someone they like to know everything about her - what makes them tick, what puts a smile on her face etc. A suitable partner is one who will not cause problems for him and is easy to be with. If you are already there my only advice would be not to deviate from it. With all my friends, the moment they felt their girlfriends were playing around with them, their relationship became very difficult and lo and behold none of them lasted in the end.

Tl;dr: Men are simple but not stupid. Playing hard to get is more likely to decrease desirability and there are most certainly other (easier) ways to achieve this.
Alright thank you. But what should i do when he ignores me?? Like before i used to message him a few times but now if he ignores me i just leave it and won't speak. I feel like i am justified in doing that but i don't want to lose him. But whenever i try to communicate and talk to him about it i get hit with the same line everytime. What should i do...

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