URGENT!Someone please mark this question two Watch

jeevanpunia
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Hello, im currently in the process of resitting my exam, and it is on the 4th of november (tuesday), I feel prepared but I would feel better with some feedback

Here is a anwser I have done for question 2 along with the link to the article (http://filestore.aqa.org.uk/subjects...-INS-JAN13.PDF), please mark this out of 8 and give me feedback on how I can improve:

The text that shrieks out Slimezilla tells the reader that whatever this article may be about, it could be potentially very scary and frightening for the reader.

The picture of the colossal jellyfish presents a truly horrifying image to the reader, of a monstrous and potentially deadly fiend. the effect that this may have on the reader is that it may make them scared, however it may also entice the reader and try to make them read on.

The picture shows a ginormous and petrifying jellyfish, this links to the text because inside the text i calls them "an authentic horror from the deep" which emphasises what is shown in the picture.

The headline is bold and very eye catching. The world Slimezilla is used to create suspense and it is also a play on word from Godzilla. This links to the text because it states "they sound like rubber monsters from Godzilla" this backs up my point and overall creates a scene in the readers head.
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alice8956
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(Original post by jeevanpunia)
Hello, im currently in the process of resitting my exam, and it is on the 4th of november (tuesday), I feel prepared but I would feel better with some feedback

Here is a anwser I have done for question 2 along with the link to the article (http://filestore.aqa.org.uk/subjects...-INS-JAN13.PDF), please mark this out of 8 and give me feedback on how I can improve:

The text that shrieks out Slimezilla tells the reader that whatever this article may be about, it could be potentially very scary and frightening for the reader.

The picture of the colossal jellyfish presents a truly horrifying image to the reader, of a monstrous and potentially deadly fiend. the effect that this may have on the reader is that it may make them scared, however it may also entice the reader and try to make them read on.


The picture shows a ginormous and petrifying jellyfish, this links to the text because inside the text i calls them "an authentic horror from the deep" which emphasises what is shown in the picture.

The headline is bold and very eye catching. The world Slimezilla is used to create suspense and it is also a play on word from Godzilla. This links to the text because it states "they sound like rubber monsters from Godzilla" this backs up my point and overall creates a scene in the readers head.

[I do know that this reply is now after your exam - sorry! I thought I'd answer it anyway for those who might come across this thread]

Right so the main thing that you have to focus on with Q2 in this paper is CLOSE TEXTUAL ANALYSIS. Although that might seem hard for the question about structure, headline and picture, what the examiner really looks for in your answer is chasing a thought or idea right to it's end - sustaining an analysis. For instance, with this particular example (remember you want to take the framework from the answer as this won't come up again as a paper!) I would focus on the way in which the picture has been taken. What I really like to do when answering this question is to imagine I was taking the picture from the article - ask yourself why have I chosen to take this picture from this angle? Why don't I take this from a different angle or include other things in the image? So one of my points might be: It is significant that the author of the passage has chosen to include a scene which is showing a direct comparison of the jellyfish to the human form - we can quite evidently see from the image that the reader should infer that the jellyfish is larger than the human. The photographer has interestingly not chosen to connect the jellyfish with any other objects in the habitat such as the seabed - this tells us as readers that the jellyfish is a direct threat to human life as the only comparison we have of the size is the human - without the human in the frame we would not know the sheer scale of the jellyfish, this supports the point that the author is using the perspective and characters within the frame to accentuate the threat the jellyfish poses to human life etc, etc. (then link this to evidence in article, expand and conclude insight of point)

Obviously this is only rough, but in an exam I would sustain this point for another paragraph or maybe two - you need to show that you can really put depth into the answer, chase the idea and give a sense of the context for the article. Another point that an examiner likes is to take a word like "divers" from the title - analyse a word that you wouldn't take as an obvious indicator of purpose of the author - and then link this to the text. Remember you don't need to make loads of points, sustaining is key to getting top band 6 marks here. Make your basic point, back it up, and then do a good analysis by taking a step back and asking why is that really important? How is that effective?

For your answer, I think that a little more sustaining of the points wouldn't go amiss as you need to show the examiner that you have insight, and this is how to you do it - sustain your argument. I don't have a mark scheme so I can't mark this against the criteria (it isn't an accurate mark so don't take my word for this!) but I would say you were looking at 5 or 4 maybe based on the answer - though really you have the ideas all you need to do is expand them and show insight and you're up there in bands 5 and 6.


Hope the exam went well and sorry the answer was a bit late
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