Is it possible for guys to feel this way about porn Watch

Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 4 years ago
#1
My boyfriend recently admitted he hadn't seen much of porn, and I had barely seen any. He told me this was because he had not had an interest in it as it doesn't do anything for him. So we both decided to watch a couple of videos mainly for tips. I was more keen than him and he told me he wouldn't get a hard on or feel anything from it.

One video we watched was from the male point of view and it was a woman basically undressing and touching the guy's penis, she had blonde hair, fake boobs etc but she was curvy and I'd say she was pretty

From the start I could tell my boyfriend was uncomfortable as his eyes were flicking all over the room and not actually at the screen

We watched it for about 3 mins when my boyfriend had that look of desire on his face and I saw that he was hard.

I don't have a problem with this as I expected him to get hard, after all the girl was curvy in all the right places and was every man's fantasy basically

But the thing that annoyed me was that
1) initially he denied that she was good looking
2) he denied getting hard even though it was clear to see
3) he began ****ing and told me it was because he was thinking about me and not her

After some discussion he eventually admitted that she was hot and beautiful but not attractive and that he wasn't attracted to her
But that he was drawn in by what she was doing and not drawn in by how she looks
Also he said he was imagining me doing that stuff and not her. He said although she was good looking she was irrelevant to the video?

We've had more discussion since then and he told me he feels upset that I believe that as men are very visually stimulated (hence why most porn exists let's be honest) and that I am telling him that I believe the woman has more to do with it than he thinks.
I've told him I have no problem with it but I still feel like he is in denial? The woman was the focus of the video..

Is he doing this to protect my feelings or do you think he's telling the truth?
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fleur_de_haine
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#2
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I'm inclined to think that he wasn't sure how/was unable to negotiate the idea of using and enjoying porn together with you, especially if he was afraid of upsetting you or making you feel less secure.

Alternatively he could have a sense of shame/embarrassment surrounding porn even on his own.

The only way you'd know is to speak with him about, approaching the subject delicately.

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cole-slaw
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#3
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(Original post by Anonymous)
My boyfriend recently admitted he hadn't seen much of porn, and I had barely seen any. He told me this was because he had not had an interest in it as it doesn't do anything for him. So we both decided to watch a couple of videos mainly for tips. I was more keen than him and he told me he wouldn't get a hard on or feel anything from it.

One video we watched was from the male point of view and it was a woman basically undressing and touching the guy's penis, she had blonde hair, fake boobs etc but she was curvy and I'd say she was pretty

From the start I could tell my boyfriend was uncomfortable as his eyes were flicking all over the room and not actually at the screen

We watched it for about 3 mins when my boyfriend had that look of desire on his face and I saw that he was hard.

I don't have a problem with this as I expected him to get hard, after all the girl was curvy in all the right places and was every man's fantasy basically

But the thing that annoyed me was that
1) initially he denied that she was good looking
2) he denied getting hard even though it was clear to see
3) he began ****ing and told me it was because he was thinking about me and not her

After some discussion he eventually admitted that she was hot and beautiful but not attractive and that he wasn't attracted to her
But that he was drawn in by what she was doing and not drawn in by how she looks
Also he said he was imagining me doing that stuff and not her. He said although she was good looking she was irrelevant to the video?

We've had more discussion since then and he told me he feels upset that I believe that as men are very visually stimulated (hence why most porn exists let's be honest) and that I am telling him that I believe the woman has more to do with it than he thinks.
I've told him I have no problem with it but I still feel like he is in denial? The woman was the focus of the video..

Is he doing this to protect my feelings or do you think he's telling the truth?
Porn stars are in generally completely fugly. Guys don't watch porn because the girls are attractive.
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unprinted
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(Original post by Anonymous)
My boyfriend recently admitted he hadn't seen much of porn, and I had barely seen any.
I love the word 'admitted'.

So we both decided to watch a couple of videos mainly for tips.
I've said it before, but watching porn for tips is like learning to drive from watching The Fast and The Furious series. It can be useful for 'I'd be interested in trying something like that' stuff, but so much of the safety stuff isn't shown.

And, of course, most of it isn't real. In fact most porn is, in a word, boring. You have a number of people who clearly have no chemistry or interest in each other doing stuff that they've clearly been told to do rather than actually want to do and often badly acting while doing it. I am lucky enough to have been able to watch real people have real sex and it's been far more interesting and erotic than the vast majority of porn.

But that he was drawn in by what she was doing and not drawn in by how she looks
Also he said he was imagining me doing that stuff and not her. He said although she was good looking she was irrelevant to the video?

We've had more discussion since then and he told me he feels upset that I believe that as men are very visually stimulated (hence why most porn exists let's be honest) and that I am telling him that I believe the woman has more to do with it than he thinks.
I've told him I have no problem with it but I still feel like he is in denial? The woman was the focus of the video..

Is he doing this to protect my feelings or do you think he's telling the truth?
In this case, you both saw something that made him uncomfortable - you haven't said what you thought of it, BTW, but you seem to have spent more time watching him than it - and he didn't expect to get an erection, but he did. OMG.

What would you like him to say? 'Yes, I'm masturbating with the fantasy of her... and actually, it'd be easier if you went away while I did that'?

The penis was probably the focus of the video, yes he's probably telling the truth, and if you want to test that you could find some more videos with a variety of people doing exactly the same thing and see what the reaction is. If it varies greatly depending on who's in it, then - OMG - possibly her looks did have something to do with it, but so what?

she had blonde hair, fake boobs etc
Urgh.

the girl was curvy in all the right places and was every man's fantasy basically
Erm, no. Attractive women come in all shapes and sizes, but - for me and a sizeable chunk of other men - they don't have obviously fake breasts.
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Zarek
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#5
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Just give up watching porn and bonk the arse off each other. Far better..
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PillsIV
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#6
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I didn't watch much porn, just didn't get into it. Porn stars are unattractive, and amateur videos are often crap...


I'd believe your bf that it didn't really do much for him.
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Limpopo
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#7
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#7
Come and watch porn with me and there will be a lot fewer issues.

PS I'll also cook dinner.
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