Straight, but thinking inappropriately about a guy at the gym.

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 7 years ago
#1
24, and I am straight. Have always gone for girls. But have found guys attractive from a purely platonic point of view. But, there is a guy in the gym who I talk to and I must admit, I find him sexually attractive. I first saw him working out and was looking at him quite a lot. Before we knew each other better, I must have seemed like a right creep because I could not keep my eyes off him, but he was not really freaked out. But then we got to know each other and we get along very well and go to the gym's drinks bar quite a lot.

I know I am not gay because that would mean I would want to have sex with him, which I don't. But I do want to kiss him. I am confused in all fairness. I keep having inappropriate thoughts regarding him and his face/body. But, if I was gay then I would have realised a long time ago?
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#Ridwan
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#2
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#2
You find him sexually attractive, but don't want to have sex with him? Right.

I sense denial here.
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Anonymous #1
#3
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#3
(Original post by #Ridwan)
You find him sexually attractive, but don't want to have sex with him? Right.

I sense denial here.
Honestly , no. Not anal sex anyway. I want to kiss him but that is because he is honestly one of the best looking guys I have seen (not model good looking, but good looking to me).

I remember when I first saw him, he was doing dips and I could not stop staring and this other guy caught me looking at him, so embarrassing. But then he went to do another exercise and I could not stop trying to watch him without getting caught.

Typically, I don't want to ruin what we have at the moment. But, I am not going to deny it, I am probably going to make a move on him at some point. I am not the type to stand around and debate the 'rightness' of the matter.
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#Ridwan
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#4
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#4
(Original post by Anonymous)
Honestly , no. Not anal sex anyway. I want to kiss him but that is because he is honestly one of the best looking guys I have seen (not model good looking, but good looking to me).

I remember when I first saw him, he was doing dips and I could not stop staring and this other guy caught me looking at him, so embarrassing. But then he went to do another exercise and I could not stop trying to watch him without getting caught.

Typically, I don't want to ruin what we have at the moment. But, I am not going to deny it, I am probably going to make a move on him at some point. I am not the type to stand around and debate the 'rightness' of the matter.
If you fancy him and also like women then you are bi. That is irrefutable.
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BreakingBadx
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#5
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#5
You missed out the "no homo" part OP...






(Sorry silly joke)

But in all seriousness you sound at least bicurious, but I wouldnt label yourself if you dont want to.

Do you know if he is gay or might be?
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Blazar
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#6
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#6
(Original post by #Ridwan)
If you fancy him and also like women then you are bi. That is irrefutable.
I'm bisexual, but please don't try to define someone else's orientation for them. That's not cool.
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louieee
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#7
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#7
"oh guy in the gym you're really hot and I find you sexually attractive but I don't want to have sex with you but I will make a move on you because I'm not the sort to just wait around"


dude have you assessed this situation yourself you're 24
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louieee
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#8
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#8
(Original post by Blazar)
I'm bisexual, but please don't try to define someone else's orientation for them. That's not cool.

does it need to be cool if it's the truth?














just kidding :P
ohmygod that's not even funny where has my humour gone this evening my humour tumour is swollen oh dear
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Anonymous #1
#9
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(Original post by BreakingBadx)
You missed out the "no homo" part OP...






(Sorry silly joke)

But in all seriousness you sound at least bicurious, but I wouldnt label yourself if you dont want to.

Do you know if he is gay or might be?
Honestly have no idea. I know I am attractive too but it does not matter if he is totally straight. I am in no way camp but people have wondered about me being too well put together, very into men's styling and the gym. Never had a problem attracting girls, but it just does not excite me that much anymore.
I just don't want anyone finding out, my parents are still quite old fashioned about this kind of thing. And I would never consider anything official with the guy. I don't want the labels.

The guy is damn beautiful though. You know, I can imagine myself being as a couple together than with most girls in terms of matching level of looks. Ok, that sounded very conceited but you know what I am getting at, the 'fit'. I apologise if that sounded big headed.
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Schrödingers Cat
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#10
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#10
Just be yourself, if you feel like you want to kiss this guy then go for it, if you like it you might want to accept that you are at least bisexual or gay
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Anonymous #1
#11
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(Original post by louieee)
"oh guy in the gym you're really hot and I find you sexually attractive but I don't want to have sex with you but I will make a move on you because I'm not the sort to just wait around"


dude have you assessed this situation yourself you're 24
I am not gay/bi, I don't actually want to have sex with the man.
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Blazar
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#12
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#12
(Original post by Anonymous)
24, and I am straight. Have always gone for girls. But have found guys attractive from a purely platonic point of view. But, there is a guy in the gym who I talk to and I must admit, I find him sexually attractive. I first saw him working out and was looking at him quite a lot. Before we knew each other better, I must have seemed like a right creep because I could not keep my eyes off him, but he was not really freaked out. But then we got to know each other and we get along very well and go to the gym's drinks bar quite a lot.

I know I am not gay because that would mean I would want to have sex with him, which I don't. But I do want to kiss him. I am confused in all fairness. I keep having inappropriate thoughts regarding him and his face/body. But, if I was gay then I would have realised a long time ago?
That probably took a lot of courage to post online. I thought I was straight until I was 14, but then internalised homophobia from all the "gay jokes" my friends were constantly making forced me into denial for another few years. I had somehow managed to convince myself that I was 100% straight, and it appeared to be working. Then I met a girl at drama rehearsals and I couldn't stop thinking about how beautiful she was. A year on, that girl is now my girlfriend, and I'm finally comfortable identifying as bisexual.

However, if you still identify as straight but with an attraction to just this one guy, there is absolutely no problem with that. Equally, you don't have to define yourself with labels like "straight" if you don't want to.You can't help who you're attracted to.

Even if you did now identify as gay, that doesn't necessarily mean you would have realised a long time ago. The truth is, a lot of LGBT teenagers are told "you're too young to know you're gay/bi/trans/etc", and then a few years later as young adults they're told "if you were gay/bi/trans/etc you would have known years ago". Even so, sexuality is fluid and can change throughout a person's lifetime. I'd say go with whatever approach you think is best for you.
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Anonymous #1
#13
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#13
(Original post by Schrödingers Cat)
Just be yourself, if you feel like you want to kiss this guy then go for it, if you like it you might want to accept that you are at least bisexual or gay
Does enjoying a kiss with another man really make one gay/bi? Yeah, I want to touch him but I would never, EVER, consider penetrative sex with another man. Not that it is wrong, it just is not something I am attracted to. I refuse to just be "boxed in" like that.
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louieee
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#14
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#14
(Original post by Anonymous)
I am not gay/bi, I don't actually want to have sex with the man.


what exactly do you want?
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Zürich
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#15
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#15
**** him to see if youre gay brah
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BreakingBadx
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#16
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#16
(Original post by Zürich)
**** him to see if youre gay brah
What if he's only halfway brah?
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Anonymous #1
#17
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#17
(Original post by Zürich)
**** him to see if youre gay brah
Funny thing is, you know who I am. Not going to say who though obviously.
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Zürich
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#18
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#18
(Original post by BreakingBadx)
What if he's only halfway brah?
Lifetime of emotional anguish, inability to form a relationship with anyone ever again and inability to look other men in the eye ever again.

On the other hand, closure.


He could start off with the ladyboys before eventually releasing he's gay also of course.
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BreakingBadx
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#19
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#19
(Original post by Zürich)
Lifetime of emotional anguish, inability to form a relationship with anyone ever again and inability to look other men in the eye ever again.

On the other hand, closure.

He could start off with the ladyboys before eventually releasing he's gay also of course.
Which eye we talking here?

Yes. Ladyboys are always a good option, OP.
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Anonymous #1
#20
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#20
(Original post by Zürich)
Lifetime of emotional anguish, inability to form a relationship with anyone ever again and inability to look other men in the eye ever again.

On the other hand, closure.


He could start off with the ladyboys before eventually releasing he's gay also of course.
Ladyboy's are repulsive to me, no offence. Not attracted to that.

I would also never want to be seen being a couple with a man in public. A resounding no from me. Would not want any of my mates or family to know anything about my thoughts on the matter.

And you make it sound like I am some fool who is attracted to every man, I view the vast vast majority of men in a platonic manner. Also I like women, but I do not find them mentally stimulating in my experiences, at all. Attractive men have this charm which women do not, and this gives them more a sexual edge. (And I have been with a lot of women). It's also the fact that when a man is good looking, he is very damn good looking/unique. Women by and large are more generic.
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