Do you consider perfectionism and fear of being bested to be a good thing, healthy? Watch

Smash Bandicoot
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mods please consider moving to Mental Health


If 'alphas' are considerably more successful and attractive thus respected (and I don't mean chest-thumping BB Misc knuckleheads but the leaders of our society), and self-improvement/always aiming to better oneself is a good thing, why is perfectionism not? Why is it not healthy to have a fear of somebody being better than you? In the animal kingdom, if someone was better, more powerful than you then basically they could hunt you as prey, kill you and later eat you. In terms of Social Darwinism within a capitalist market this generally translates to somebody controlling more material resources than you and having higher social influence as a consequence.

In a world where being second can mean getting dumped, or sacked, or not landing the job, or failing your exams, and in worse case scenarios being unemployed, homeless and living poverty, can somebody please explain to me why perfectionism and fear of being bested is a bad thing? I'm pretty sure half of TSR has a perfectionist ethic so it would be interesting to hear from you all.
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Viva Emptiness
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Tell me again what the point of this new account is?
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Smash Bandicoot
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(Original post by Viva Emptiness)
Tell me again what the point of this new account is?


I don't know what you're talking about lol, I've been here 2 weeks
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miser
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(Original post by Smash Bandicoot)
If 'alphas' are considerably more successful and attractive thus respected (and I don't mean chest-thumping BB Misc knuckleheads but the leaders of our society), and self-improvement/always aiming to better oneself is a good thing, why is perfectionism not? Why is it not healthy to have a fear of somebody being better than you? In the animal kingdom, if someone was better, more powerful than you then basically they could hunt you as prey, kill you and later eat you. In terms of Social Darwinism within a capitalist market this generally translates to somebody controlling more material resources than you and having higher social influence as a consequence.

In a world where being second can mean getting dumped, or sacked, or not landing the job, or failing your exams, and in worse case scenarios being unemployed, homeless and living poverty, can somebody please explain to me why perfectionism and fear of being bested is a bad thing? I'm pretty sure half of TSR has a perfectionist ethic so it would be interesting to hear from you all.
Fear of someone being better than you is unhealthy because it's an unrealistic expectation to be the best. By allowing this fear into your life you're welcoming it to eat at your self-image and become a source of insecurity.

I think self-improvement is very important, but I don't think it should be motivated by fear or insecurity, instead it should come from a respect for yourself and the desire to achieve your own potential.
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WeedCanKill
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Allowing it to utterly dominate your life is unhealthy, like pretty much anything else you can think of.
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Smash Bandicoot
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(Original post by WeedCanKill)
Allowing it to utterly dominate your life is unhealthy, like pretty much anything else you can think of.
unfortunately if I don't dwell on it then they may dominate my life…sex life that is
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WeedCanKill
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(Original post by Smash Bandicoot)
unfortunately if I don't dwell on it then they may dominate my life…sex life that is
I think you need help.
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stargirl63
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To be honest, everyone should be the best they can be, and be the best version of themselves. Not necessarily to compare them to everyone else (as there is always someone better than you), but to be the best you can be, for you.
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Liv1204
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From a psychological viewpoint... it is now generally assumed that there are two forms of perfection: Maladaptive perfectionism and adaptive perfection. Also considered are the 3 types: self-oriented perfectionism (towards the self), social-oriented (perfection expected in others) and other-oriented (perceived expectations of perfectionism from others).

Maladaptive perfection tends to consist of things like fear of failure, perceived parental criticism, doubts about actions, things like that, and has been associated with lower self-esteem, depression, eating disorders, low motivation, lower performance, anxiety, burnout, drop-out, etc, etc. Adaptive perfectionism is more like a kind of 'striving for excellence' really - high standards, high expectations, striving for perfection but can still be satisfied if perfection is not met - you can still achieve 'excellence' without achieving perfection!

Perfectionism taken the often-talked-out way can often be negative because people never feel good enough. Nothing feels like an achievement, self-esteem is lowered, you constantly put more pressure on yourself to be perfect and in the long run it's impossible. It tends to lead to either burning out, depression and feelings of inadequacy, or giving up trying because you know you won't be good enough for yourself. Perfectionism taken the 'adaptive' way, as a striving for excellence, can be very positive.

/Over-analysis :P
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Smash Bandicoot
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(Original post by WeedCanKill)
I think you need help.
That was a joke buddy, chill, you'd be worried if I was serious








Nomsaiyan
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Smash Bandicoot
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(Original post by Liv1204)
From a psychological viewpoint... it is now generally assumed that there are two forms of perfection: Maladaptive perfectionism and adaptive perfection. Also considered are the 3 types: self-oriented perfectionism (towards the self), social-oriented (perfection expected in others) and other-oriented (perceived expectations of perfectionism from others).

Maladaptive perfection tends to consist of things like fear of failure, perceived parental criticism, doubts about actions, things like that, and has been associated with lower self-esteem, depression, eating disorders, low motivation, lower performance, anxiety, burnout, drop-out, etc, etc. Adaptive perfectionism is more like a kind of 'striving for excellence' really - high standards, high expectations, striving for perfection but can still be satisfied if perfection is not met - you can still achieve 'excellence' without achieving perfection!

Perfectionism taken the often-talked-out way can often be negative because people never feel good enough. Nothing feels like an achievement, self-esteem is lowered, you constantly put more pressure on yourself to be perfect and in the long run it's impossible. It tends to lead to either burning out, depression and feelings of inadequacy, or giving up trying because you know you won't be good enough for yourself. Perfectionism taken the 'adaptive' way, as a striving for excellence, can be very positive.

/Over-analysis :P
Thank you!
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Arkasia
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In moderation it's healthy, if taken as an ideal then it's not.
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Smash Bandicoot
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(Original post by stargirl63)
To be honest, everyone should be the best they can be, and be the best version of themselves. Not necessarily to compare them to everyone else (as there is always someone better than you), but to be the best you can be, for you.
Yes of course, but is it healthy to say, KNOW that you will get 'traded up' for a hotter/more intelligent/richer guy if they meet your girlfriend, or get sacked if a better employee comes for the position? Be aware of the laws of social Darwinism in the capitalist world? Cos er, that is how I feel most days :teehee

I try to only apply it to myself because if I start applying it to others we shall invoke Godwin's Law and...
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stargirl63
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(Original post by Smash Bandicoot)
Yes of course, but is it healthy to say, KNOW that you will get 'traded up' for a hotter/more intelligent/richer guy if they meet your girlfriend, or get sacked if a better employee comes for the position? Be aware of the laws of social Darwinism in the capitalist world? Cos er, that is how I feel most days :teehee

I try to only apply it to myself because if I start applying it to others we shall invoke Godwin's Law and...
To be honest - you need to believe in yourself and be happy with yourself. If you're in a relationship where you feel the other person will run as soon as someone better comes along, that is going to affect the relationship negatively, whether it is true or not. At work, I also swear its on the grounds of unfair dismissal if you get sacked for something that is not your fault. If perhaps you're out looking for a job, then yes they will choose the better candidate but who wouldn't? All I'm saying is that you need to be the best you can be, and if other people don't like it, or are not happy with it, then whatever. There's other people to date, there's other jobs, there's other everything!

Social Darwinism is always there. It shouldn't be the reason to get you down, nor the reason to bring yourself up, you should want to improve for yourself, however going up the food chain is always a welcome side effect!
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scrotgrot
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Law
Of
Diminishing
Returns

But in general I think perfectionism is a good trait to have, particularly while you're at school, when after all your parents are supporting you, so you can dedicate your entire being to the task if you so desire. But I am a perfectionist and it makes me do stupid things such as be frightened to apply for jobs because I can't stand there being any weaknesses in my application.
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scrotgrot
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(Original post by Smash Bandicoot)
Yes of course, but is it healthy to say, KNOW that you will get 'traded up' for a hotter/more intelligent/richer guy if they meet your girlfriend, or get sacked if a better employee comes for the position? Be aware of the laws of social Darwinism in the capitalist world? Cos er, that is how I feel most days :teehee

I try to only apply it to myself because if I start applying it to others we shall invoke Godwin's Law and...
No, it doesn't work like that. A company will not dump you for a marginally better candidate because:
1. it costs money and time to do so
2. you have integrated into the organisation
3. people there like you and know you're a safe bet

And a girlfriend will not dump you for a marginally better candidate for what comes down to much the same reasons.

It's possible that there will come a candidate in either scenario who is so impressive that it justifies the risk of getting rid of you, but highly unlikely, as people are very risk-averse, and interpersonal bonds count for a hell of a lot.

Seriously, when you move into the corporate world you'll see how bull****-heavy and inefficient it really is, there's really no reason to even try to select the single best candidate out there, there are plenty of bottlenecks elsewhere in the system anyway.

"The capitalist world" and its "social Darwinism" is a utopian (or dystopian, if you prefer) construct that exists only in the minds of fantasists, propagandists and naifs.
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ChaoticButterfly
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(Original post by Smash Bandicoot)
mods please consider moving to Mental Health


If 'alphas' are considerably more successful and attractive thus respected (and I don't mean chest-thumping BB Misc knuckleheads but the leaders of our society), and self-improvement/always aiming to better oneself is a good thing, why is perfectionism not? Why is it not healthy to have a fear of somebody being better than you? In the animal kingdom, if someone was better, more powerful than you then basically they could hunt you as prey, kill you and later eat you. In terms of Social Darwinism within a capitalist market this generally translates to somebody controlling more material resources than you and having higher social influence as a consequence.

In a world where being second can mean getting dumped, or sacked, or not landing the job, or failing your exams, and in worse case scenarios being unemployed, homeless and living poverty, can somebody please explain to me why perfectionism and fear of being bested is a bad thing? I'm pretty sure half of TSR has a perfectionist ethic so it would be interesting to hear from you all.
HaHa! Next joke.
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Smash Bandicoot
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(Original post by ChaoticButterfly)
HaHa! Next joke.
No really, just look at all the STEM Master Race and body (nit always fat) shaming threads
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Kaiju
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friendly competition is healthy and pushes people to achieve more
irrational fear of imperfection and consequent performance anxiety isn't
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Smash Bandicoot
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(Original post by Kaiju)
friendly competition is healthy and pushes people to achieve more
irrational fear of imperfection and consequent performance anxiety isn't
It's not irrational though, the consequences of failing to socially dominate can be divorce and unemployment
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