Im attracted to him but dont want intercourse

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civilstudent
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If a much older man wants to meet up with you, go for drinks together, wants to buy you a meal and texts everyday then is it intercourse he is really after? I like spending time with him and even had a crush on him for years but i dont want to have intercourse it makes me feel anxious/a sense of doom for some reason. I can get turned on by cuddling, touching, no clothes massage etc (even thoough ive not done those yet lol i know they would turn me on) stuff like that but I dont think much of intercourse its just way over the top to me and would feel weird.. If its not at the sex stage yet though so what am i supposed to do? Just carry on having fun letting him spend time with me and just suck it up when it comes to sex(excuse the pun if there is one)?
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shawn_o1
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How much older is that person if I may ask?
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So3
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How old are you and how old is he?
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Jebedee
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So you want all the mod cons of a boyfriend without giving anything in return. Sorry darlin', doesn't work that way. Gotta pay to play.
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the bear
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if he is truly in love with you he will respect your wish to refuse sex
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cole-slaw
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If you don't even like the idea of intercourse you should probably see a psychiatrist. Talk to your GP.
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C_tinie_D
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(Original post by the bear)
if he is truly in love with you he will respect your wish to refuse sex
Bull****, the only way that would happen is if he is getting it from somewhere else.

Sorry OP I've met girls like you and to put it blunt get over yourself or stop wasting his time. Intercourse is one of the most natural things in this world and as a red blooded male, he is going to want it sometime and then you will lose him.
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SnoochToTheBooch
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Well why don't you just explain this to him, that's a much better option that relying on internet strangers to guess his mind.
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civilstudent
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(Original post by Jebedee)
So you want all the mod cons of a boyfriend without giving anything in return. Sorry darlin', doesn't work that way. Gotta pay to play.
I do pay, i insist on paying half for drinks etc, in fact i spent a lot more than him last time. Same with other dates ive been on as I dont want to 'owe' anything!
Also I drive him to places and do all the driving, he doesnt drive. What mod cons do you mean?
Bit of an assumption you made eh
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civilstudent
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(Original post by C_tinie_D)
Bullsh*t, the only way that would happen is if he is getting it from somewhere else.

Sorry OP I've met girls like you and to put it blunt get over yourself or stop wasting his time. Intercourse is one of the most natural things in this world and as a red blooded male, he is going to want it sometime and then you will lose him.
Met girls like me? Maybe some some people just dont like sex. Whats it got to do with getting over myself?
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C_tinie_D
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(Original post by civilstudent)
Met girls like me? Maybe some some people just dont like sex.
Then some people should see professional help
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civilstudent
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(Original post by C_tinie_D)
Then some people should see professional help
To make them want sex?
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EllieC130
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(Original post by civilstudent)
If a much older man wants to meet up with you, go for drinks together, wants to buy you a meal and texts everyday then is it intercourse he is really after? I like spending time with him and even had a crush on him for years but i dont want to have intercourse it makes me feel anxious/a sense of doom for some reason. I can get turned on by cuddling, touching, no clothes massage etc (even thoough ive not done those yet lol i know they would turn me on) stuff like that but I dont think much of intercourse its just way over the top to me and would feel weird.. If its not at the sex stage yet though so what am i supposed to do? Just carry on having fun letting him spend time with me and just suck it up when it comes to sex(excuse the pun if there is one)?
Well what's the age difference?
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username1201943
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Do whatever you're comfortable with, ignore the rejected nerds above.
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C_tinie_D
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(Original post by civilstudent)
To make them want sex?
No, to see what's wrong with you
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Jebedee
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(Original post by civilstudent)
I do pay, i insist on paying half for drinks etc, in fact i spent a lot more than him last time. Same with other dates ive been on as I dont want to 'owe' anything!
Also I drive him to places and do all the driving, he doesnt drive. What mod cons do you mean?
Bit of an assumption you made eh
Well, that explains why you don't want intercourse then.
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EllieC130
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Since you're not answering my question, I'll advise the best I can. First of all, I'm gonna presume your a virgin, but feel free to correct me if I'm wrong; therefore, the first thing I would say is don't have sex with him unless you're sure you're reading; believe me, I've seen girls feel pretty **** after doing it because they just weren't ready. That being said, I'm sure if he genuinely likes you, and from the amount of texting you claim you and him do I think he does, then he'd probably be willing to wait a while; how long depends entirely on the guy. You haven't given much away about him so I can't really say much. Also don't listen to the jackasses *****ing about you not wanting to have sex; some of us just don't have sex drives that are that high.
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Arkasia
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(Original post by UnknownRoyalist)
Do whatever you're comfortable with, ignore the rejected nerds above.
Could you not have made the comment without resorting to silly insults?
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username1201943
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(Original post by Arkasia)
Could you not have made the comment without resorting to silly insults?
Why? If they think that she's in the wrong fot not wanting to go through with it, then 'rejected nerds' is the nicest thing that came to mind. Also, since when were you assigned the position of TSR police?
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civilstudent
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(Original post by C_tinie_D)
No, to see what's wrong with you
Why, do you think there is? Really? I asked for opinions so maybe i should take them on board and get this help. Im just trying to discuss my situation and preferences. Do you think that everyone should want sex or else theres something wrong? Im not saying that i wouldnt have sex im saying how i feel about it. It is not fair if a male wants sex to deny it and expect him to stay as ive heard for males it is a need. I just wanted to discuss this on here (a site with intelligent people!) rather than go and see some professional, i never thought that i might have something wrong with me
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