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Uni One Night Stand
I had a one night stand with a friend I'd known for about a year before I came to Uni on Sunday. We got along great beforehand and were really close, but then on Sunday night I got really really drunk and spent the night in his room. Now every time I see him everything is incredibly awkward. We're in the same halls so we bump into each other a lot at dinner and in clubs. I'm finding that I can't really enjoy myself as I can't really let go cos I feel like he's judging my every move. His friend tried to dance with me at a club last night and we ended up going our separate ways because my one night stand guy was staring me down. I don't know what to do about this, as I've tried to talk to him and he said he'd rather forget what happened. I still want to be friends - have we killed our friendship??
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Honestly, you messed up, but I am sure you know this.
Give him a break. Count off ten days and don't talk to him, don't look at him and when he talks to you, just be very polite but to the point. Seem a bit sad in front of him.
After ten days (now, don't dress up for this, just go in sweatpants and don't wear makeup) knock on his room's door and tiredly say "hey, could we just forget about what happened? I'm really sorry about my behavior, I was drunk and I don't want you to be angry at me forever because i *****ed up on one night". And wait for the response. As easy as that.
He'll surely forgive you. If you don't dress up for the apology but look great for the ten days otherwise it'll be evident to him that you aren't trying to get him and you just want to stay friends.
GOod luck
Give him a break. Count off ten days and don't talk to him, don't look at him and when he talks to you, just be very polite but to the point. Seem a bit sad in front of him.
After ten days (now, don't dress up for this, just go in sweatpants and don't wear makeup) knock on his room's door and tiredly say "hey, could we just forget about what happened? I'm really sorry about my behavior, I was drunk and I don't want you to be angry at me forever because i *****ed up on one night". And wait for the response. As easy as that.
He'll surely forgive you. If you don't dress up for the apology but look great for the ten days otherwise it'll be evident to him that you aren't trying to get him and you just want to stay friends.
GOod luck
Why does he need to forgive her? She hasn't done anything wrong, I'm assuming the one-night-stand was consensual on his part! Just some drunken freshers' week antics that you end up regretting. It happens a lot.
If he's getting jealous of you dancing with other lads, but not exactly being friendly, perhaps he is confused about whether you are a friend or a girlfriend. Best solution? Talk to him. Just say that you were drunk and regret it, can you go back to being friends? And if not, leave him to it.
If he's getting jealous of you dancing with other lads, but not exactly being friendly, perhaps he is confused about whether you are a friend or a girlfriend. Best solution? Talk to him. Just say that you were drunk and regret it, can you go back to being friends? And if not, leave him to it.
Yeah I think he is jealous... but I feel like I should maybe be a little more conscious of the fact that there is/was something between us and maybe not rub it in his face every time I'm with another guy. And every time he's seen me i've been with a different guy. (not doing anything with them, just holding hands or sitting on their lap or something) I dont want to not be able to do this just because he is getting jealous though. I feel like I just need to give him space and maybe wait for him to say something to me first?
And yes it was consensual. I was way drunker than he was (im not sure he was even drunk) and I threw up before passing out on his bed. He started kissing me and yea. Please dont make it seem as though I raped him and so he has to forgive me
And yes it was consensual. I was way drunker than he was (im not sure he was even drunk) and I threw up before passing out on his bed. He started kissing me and yea. Please dont make it seem as though I raped him and so he has to forgive me
It sounds exactly like he wanted to hook up with you beforehand, and now he has done he feels that there's something more between you than just friendship. If you don't feel the same way you need to make that plain to him, and then he needs to get over it. You don't owe him anything for one drunken night, and you certainly don't need to stay away from other guys in case he gets jealous.
Anonymous
Yeah I think he is jealous... but I feel like I should maybe be a little more conscious of the fact that there is/was something between us and maybe not rub it in his face every time I'm with another guy. And every time he's seen me i've been with a different guy. (not doing anything with them, just holding hands or sitting on their lap or something) I dont want to not be able to do this just because he is getting jealous though. I feel like I just need to give him space and maybe wait for him to say something to me first?
And yes it was consensual. I was way drunker than he was (im not sure he was even drunk) and I threw up before passing out on his bed. He started kissing me and yea. Please dont make it seem as though I raped him and so he has to forgive me
And yes it was consensual. I was way drunker than he was (im not sure he was even drunk) and I threw up before passing out on his bed. He started kissing me and yea. Please dont make it seem as though I raped him and so he has to forgive me
Make out that you raped him?! Sounds like HE's the one who should apologise for taking advantage!
Ignore the total bull**** that anon2 wrote there. If you're too scared to put a name to the advice it must be crap. Why should she apologise?
OP - I'm curious to know...was he drunk at the time too? Because if you were pissed and he wasn't then he's the one who should feel guilty about it.
EDIT: Question answered. He's a disgusting, using bastard and you don't need to have anything to do with him anyway. No wonder he's been acting weird...he's feeling guilty for taking advantage of you..like he should be. He has no right to be jealous and you should talk to him. Tell him you're not interested in him in that way and he's a pig for having sex with you when you were in such a state.
OP - I'm curious to know...was he drunk at the time too? Because if you were pissed and he wasn't then he's the one who should feel guilty about it.
EDIT: Question answered. He's a disgusting, using bastard and you don't need to have anything to do with him anyway. No wonder he's been acting weird...he's feeling guilty for taking advantage of you..like he should be. He has no right to be jealous and you should talk to him. Tell him you're not interested in him in that way and he's a pig for having sex with you when you were in such a state.
Yeah the next morning I did feel really used. He HAS definitely been acting weird and staring at me and I feel like he told his mates that we had sex (I was making a lot of noise so maybe they even heard). I tried to speak to him in this club when I bumped into him the next day and it was like this:
Me: Hey
Him: Hey
(then I tried to say something which he couldnt hear)
Me: Come & dance (trying to act like nothing had happened)
Him: Nah, I already promised this other girl.
*moment of awkwardness where he talks to other people*
Him: I'm gonna go and find my friend.
Me: (lost my friends) Okay, I'll come too
Him: It's kinda awkward cos she's a girl...
I think he basically doesnt want anything to do with me anymore. Yet still, lots and lots of staring.
Me: Hey
Him: Hey
(then I tried to say something which he couldnt hear)
Me: Come & dance (trying to act like nothing had happened)
Him: Nah, I already promised this other girl.
*moment of awkwardness where he talks to other people*
Him: I'm gonna go and find my friend.
Me: (lost my friends) Okay, I'll come too
Him: It's kinda awkward cos she's a girl...
I think he basically doesnt want anything to do with me anymore. Yet still, lots and lots of staring.
Well he should never have took advantage of you like that, however in future if you don't wanna end up in someone else's bed avoid drinking so much in future, i just hope for your sake you was careful.
Leave him to cool down! In the mean time just have fun! Why should he stop you having the time of your life at uni! Im sure things will go back to normal! And as for him "staring you down" when your with other guys, let him! He doesnt necessarily HAVE to look, it's his choice whether he looks or not! If he wants to stare at you let him, hes probably just jealous that you are getting attention from other guys! (some guys are weird like that lol).
Here's the thing, because you have slept with him and you were drunk and he wasnt, he obviously WANTED to do it etc etc. Now he probably just feels awkard cause you were drunk and he wasnt, so he's probably worried that you want to call it a "drunken mistake". However he might be thinking that somthing could happen, but if you are dancing with other guys he will obviously stare at you because it will look like you dont want anything to happen! (please tell me if you understand me lol, cause if not ill try to explain better!)
Here's the thing, because you have slept with him and you were drunk and he wasnt, he obviously WANTED to do it etc etc. Now he probably just feels awkard cause you were drunk and he wasnt, so he's probably worried that you want to call it a "drunken mistake". However he might be thinking that somthing could happen, but if you are dancing with other guys he will obviously stare at you because it will look like you dont want anything to happen! (please tell me if you understand me lol, cause if not ill try to explain better!)
Lol yea... I get you... I think... kinda... okay I don't lol.
It will all blow over.Trust me,in a few weeks you won't even feel like it ever happened.
I've drunkenly slept with most of my male friends and it's always awkward at first but then something else happens and everyone forgets about it and everyone is back to normal.
Although I do agree with everyone else that he acted like a pig taking advantage of you like that.
I've drunkenly slept with most of my male friends and it's always awkward at first but then something else happens and everyone forgets about it and everyone is back to normal.
Although I do agree with everyone else that he acted like a pig taking advantage of you like that.
Anonymous
Honestly, you messed up, but I am sure you know this.
Give him a break. Count off ten days and don't talk to him, don't look at him and when he talks to you, just be very polite but to the point. Seem a bit sad in front of him.
After ten days (now, don't dress up for this, just go in sweatpants and don't wear makeup) knock on his room's door and tiredly say "hey, could we just forget about what happened? I'm really sorry about my behavior, I was drunk and I don't want you to be angry at me forever because i *****ed up on one night". And wait for the response. As easy as that.
He'll surely forgive you. If you don't dress up for the apology but look great for the ten days otherwise it'll be evident to him that you aren't trying to get him and you just want to stay friends.
GOod luck
Give him a break. Count off ten days and don't talk to him, don't look at him and when he talks to you, just be very polite but to the point. Seem a bit sad in front of him.
After ten days (now, don't dress up for this, just go in sweatpants and don't wear makeup) knock on his room's door and tiredly say "hey, could we just forget about what happened? I'm really sorry about my behavior, I was drunk and I don't want you to be angry at me forever because i *****ed up on one night". And wait for the response. As easy as that.
He'll surely forgive you. If you don't dress up for the apology but look great for the ten days otherwise it'll be evident to him that you aren't trying to get him and you just want to stay friends.
GOod luck
I think this has been one of the best suggestions here.
I disagree; why should I be apologising? I'm attractive and its not as if I forced him to do anything. Like I said, he was less drunk than me. I agree with Shane that it was a drunken mistake, and I hate the sexism of you suggesting that I should be the one to apologise. Give me one good reason why I should!!
You shouldn't have to apologise he took advantage of you.
shaneo632
Neither of you have nothing to be sorry about. As long as it was consensual, which it seemingly was, there's no problem.
It's a natural desire, and neither of you should be embarassed about it. People get drunk, they have sex, it happens, and it shouldn't ruin a good friendship.
It's a natural desire, and neither of you should be embarassed about it. People get drunk, they have sex, it happens, and it shouldn't ruin a good friendship.
I think this guys hit the nail on the head.
just ignore him. maybe hes embarrassed or guilty. who knows, just carry on as normal and dont let his stupidity get in the way of anything
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