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Onset of depression (?)

These past few days I have started feeling incredibly glum and miserable. I do have reasons - I've started uni, this is fresher's week and am seeing everyone go out every night on pub crawls, to night clubs etc. which don't appeal to me in the slightest... I don't like popular music (incidentally, for general information, this doesn't mean I like strange/unusual bands, It means I am into Classical music and nothing else) and I can't understand the way people like drinking alcohol simply for the sake of it... I hate the atmosphere in pubs, can't stand the way most people seem concerned only with sport, drink or sex, and generally am beginning to hate the human race in general. My halls of residence seem crammed with people who have sod all in common with me, made up mostly of people who knew one another before university and so already in groups etc... I would generally consider my social skills as "average", in that I don't really find situations like this daunting - it's not a case of being too shy or finding it difficult to make friends, I just don't WANT to with the people living here. I've never felt so completely out-of-touch with the rest of mankind - before coming here I was never desperately popular, but I didn't care as I had three or four good friends. I've signed up for a few university societies, but it depresses me that almost all of these are initiated with so-called "social nights", i.e. drinking each other to death. It's not that I'm finding it hard to connect with people, just that I look at people around me and simply cannot conceive why I would for a moment want to waste my time around them when their personalities, likes/dislikes etc. are so diametrically opposed to my own. To put it shortly, I'm feeling pretty crap at the moment.

My family has a history of depression on both sides - two cousins have tried to commit suicide (completely independently of one another), my grandmother has been depressed more or less her entire life. I hear that depression is often genetic, so that some people will simply make the best of situations while others will never be able to enjoy themselves. I know that my current state isn't entirely to do with my circuimstances - I've always been very cynical about life generally. I look at what people spend their lives doing and at what they get about it and I find it hard to motivate myself to do the same - knowing that more than half my waking life will likely be spent working/doing unpleasant things... I'm not feeling suicidal at all, I just find it very hard to motivate myself to do anything as I just find that the best that can be gotten out of life doesn't seem to be worth the effort that must be put in... Am I pretty much cursed, or is there something I can do? Based on my story above, do you just think that I'm being snobbish by refusing to connect with people or can you relate to what I'm saying? Based on my general worldview above, am I just plain lazy or am I just able to see the world for what it is?

Reply 1

theepw

14

It is NOT always all in the mind, in some situation yes, but in other situations whereby depression is caused by hormone inbalances in the body, thats not the case...

It is probably just the case that you are in a new place at uni and do not feel fully at home. I felt depressed at times at uni, but it is something that you soon get over once you get into your course and meet loads of new people..

Reply 2

Anonymous #2

shirley7

You need to pull yourself together, snap out of it, there's no such thing as depression really, it's all in the mind.

Please don't be so ignorant of mental illness - I assume that being able to come to such a conclusion, you are a qualified doctor? No, you are just another ignorant fool.

Depression does exist. However, I don't think you have it, OP. (Though this is barely an official diagnosis). Have you simply just had past experiences with pubs or socialising? Really, there are places where people are not just interested in those things you mentioned. It is possible to go out and enjoy a drink with somebody and have a good talk, and to meet new people. There are pubs without music. I just think you have had bad experiences of going out, tbh.

Reply 3

saturn

shirley7

You need to pull yourself together, snap out of it, there's no such thing as depression really, it's all in the mind.

I totally agree with this! Ive had anxiety for a few years and I don't anymore, the only difference between now and before is that I don't think about it at all and am taking part more in things that I enjoy like sport.
However I do understand how bad depression and anxiety is its one of the worst things in the world and I bet you find it hard to believe that you can be happy and back to normal..but you can! You were fine before in the past and if you think about it you have not changed so why can't you be like you was before? You believe that it is genetic? Well then you are never going to get rid of it you are doomed for life, come on your environment has a larger effect than you think, its alright blaming genes stop looking for excuses to avoid trying its possible.

I think that being diagnosed and believing you have depression makes it hell of a lot worse as it becomes part of you and becomes a 'problem' on your mind. (not trying to put you off councelling). Try and change your life a bit it might be the hardest thing ever to do at first but stick with the routine it and you can feel a lot better, its worth it! Go for it.

Reply 4

NickNack

1

shirley7

.......it's all in the mind.

....as you could loosly say in regards to fears, phobias, social anxiety, obsessive-compulsive disorder, tourettes, or schizophrenia (also believed to be genetic), so please dont be so quick to dismiss things just because theyre "all in the mind", they still exists

Being no doctor, i wouldnt call this depression, just your anxiety getting the better of you in environments you find uncomfortable. Give pubs a chance, nothing says you have to drink and you might even enjoy yourself. And just because you dont like "popular music" doesnt mean you cant appreciate it and why others like it, personally theres very little classical music i like, but i can still appreciate its appeal.

Chin up lad! :smile:

Reply 5

saturn

Not really Ive been through similar before, you can't just snap out of it it takes time and hard work to begin with, people say that lazyness is different from depression but Id say its usually mixed in and the depression can become an excuse for a lot of things..as long as you are physically able you should try to get out and make changes, no matter how emotionally hard it is at first it pays off.

oops I must have pressed anonymous and now it won't delete, this is confusing!

Reply 6

Renza

11

Anonymous

These past few days I have started feeling incredibly glum and miserable. I do have reasons - I've started uni, this is fresher's week and am seeing everyone go out every night on pub crawls, to night clubs etc. which don't appeal to me in the slightest... I don't like popular music (incidentally, for general information, this doesn't mean I like strange/unusual bands, It means I am into Classical music and nothing else) and I can't understand the way people like drinking alcohol simply for the sake of it... I hate the atmosphere in pubs, can't stand the way most people seem concerned only with sport, drink or sex, and generally am beginning to hate the human race in general. My halls of residence seem crammed with people who have sod all in common with me, made up mostly of people who knew one another before university and so already in groups etc... I would generally consider my social skills as "average", in that I don't really find situations like this daunting - it's not a case of being too shy or finding it difficult to make friends, I just don't WANT to with the people living here. I've never felt so completely out-of-touch with the rest of mankind - before coming here I was never desperately popular, but I didn't care as I had three or four good friends. I've signed up for a few university societies, but it depresses me that almost all of these are initiated with so-called "social nights", i.e. drinking each other to death. It's not that I'm finding it hard to connect with people, just that I look at people around me and simply cannot conceive why I would for a moment want to waste my time around them when their personalities, likes/dislikes etc. are so diametrically opposed to my own. To put it shortly, I'm feeling pretty crap at the moment.

My family has a history of depression on both sides - two cousins have tried to commit suicide (completely independently of one another), my grandmother has been depressed more or less her entire life. I hear that depression is often genetic, so that some people will simply make the best of situations while others will never be able to enjoy themselves. I know that my current state isn't entirely to do with my circuimstances - I've always been very cynical about life generally. I look at what people spend their lives doing and at what they get about it and I find it hard to motivate myself to do the same - knowing that more than half my waking life will likely be spent working/doing unpleasant things... I'm not feeling suicidal at all, I just find it very hard to motivate myself to do anything as I just find that the best that can be gotten out of life doesn't seem to be worth the effort that must be put in... Am I pretty much cursed, or is there something I can do? Based on my story above, do you just think that I'm being snobbish by refusing to connect with people or can you relate to what I'm saying? Based on my general worldview above, am I just plain lazy or am I just able to see the world for what it is?

I can't say my situation is quite as severe as this but feel the same in so many ways. I'm not a big fan of drinking myself into a stupor. I spent Fresher's Week forcing myself to go to events with my flatmates (Edinburgh has university flats for self-catered), mainly with tons of repetitive dance music. Dance music is not my scene and events like the School disco was probably my idea of hell, so much so that I had to leave early.
Probably the best event on Fresher's week was going to an outdoor screening of Wallace and Gromit and seeing a hypnotist show, although I was lucky in the sense I went with two people I know.

I'm finding it very hard to connect with people. I've been looking for people into rock music like myself and that are a bit...different - not so mainstream. I was never terribly popular at school but my friends, of the small circle I had, were a bit quirky, a bit different and a couple were probably not popular themselves.
I think it takes time to get friends on the same wave length as you. I suppose it means joining a couple of societies, going to those damn socials.

As for the depression. I've suffered a couple of untreated boughts of it and I really felt I've descended into it quite a few times in my weeks at uni (but my boyfriend seems to be proping me up in that sense). Hold on for something good... Go to social events however much it pains you and mix with people who seem to have nothing in common with you. You might find someone there who is like you.

After Freshers week I thought I'd be able the superficiality of people would start to ease of so people aren't speaking to you in a forced, 'I want to be popular' manner.

Do you have any societies that link with classical music? Maybe a theatre society that takes trips to see operas, etc? You might be able to find like-minded people there.

(P.S: Classical music rocks! A bit of Tchaikovsky really brightened up my studying tonight ^_^)

shirley7

You need to pull yourself together, snap out of it, there's no such thing as depression really, it's all in the mind.

You're up against science on that one, dear - Chemical imbalances have been proven to cause depression.

Reply 7

doll-heart

I can't believe so many people, allegendly intelligent people, are still so naive to mental illness; if you'd watched someone you love starve themselves almost to death, convinced they're overweight at less than five stone...

I bet you people don't believe there's such a thing as homosexuality or probably even cancer.

"Snap out of it, you don't need chemo, just a reality check!"

Very nice, everyone here is a med student,

Anon.1; go see your doctor, no-one on here is qualified to make a diagnosis.

Reply 8

Camford

12

@Thread Starter:

Light hearted comment: should have worked harder and gone to a better university, haven't you? :p:

In all seriousness, I do recommand you go see a counselor. As far as I know, most universities have their own counseling service. We have one. I used to have their leaflet stuck on my message board as joke, telling everyone who comes into my room that I may need their service one day due to "academic pressure".

I'm a bit like you to a certain extend. I dislike just about any of the social events my college organises. I don't like loud music or drunk people... especially not both together. To be honest, there are better ways to spend time than getting drunk and catching STDs.

There are a few groups of people you may find more like you. Jugglers, most of them are quite eccentric, despite the fact that some of them do performs in public. If there is a society for juggling, sign up, it'll be fun. Dancing can be quite interesting too. I don't mean your average night club dancing, but ballroom, latin and salsa. Give it a try if you got one of those. Music tend to be the popular kind though.

I hope this is a temperary thing for you.

Reply 9

xXMessedUpXx

15

Depression is well recognised in the medical world as an illness that not only affects sufferers mentally but physically as well. Having suffered from it myself i can tell you that when you really are that low then it is not just a case of "snapping out of it". To me it sounds like the OP could be suffering from a case of mild depression but i'm not doctor so i can't say for certain. If you have a fmaily history of it then you can be more prone to developing depression and big life changes such as moving away from home to uni for the first time can be unsetteling and trigger depression/anxiety.

Evidently your preference not to go out and socialise on nights out is making you feel alientaed from your fellow students and this could be expected to have an effect on you, perhaps making you feel lonley and insecure about yourself. But you just need to look in other places. You say you like classical music, well is their a society for one? If so then join, bite the bullet. If not then maybe you could resort to the internet? Try to find if there are any students in your uni who share your interests.

I know one of the common elements of depression is the feeling that you just can't do anything, but the one thing i will say is that you have to motivatre yourself. You may be heading towards a downward spirakl but the harsh reality is only you can avoid it. By all means seek help from your GP or a counseller but try to have enough faith in yourself to get yourself out of it.

and for more depression info check the link in my sig

Reply 10

Kate85

8

"Depression is not something you can just "snap out of." It's caused by an imbalance of brain chemicals." = from a medical site, I can get you plenty of others if you wish? :rolleyes:

Would you say that a schizophrenic needs to "snap out of it"? Or that a person who has lost a child needs to "pull themselves together" because they cannot imagine their life without that child?

This sort of attitude make me sick. I just really hope you or anyone close to you never experiences something so dreadful that they cannot see the point of existing anymore.

OP: I don't think you have depression, I think you're just very 'fed up' (for want of a better word) with how things are for you. Have you tried asking to move halls? (don't know if that's possible) or joining societies which cater for the things you like? :smile:

Reply 11

Anonymous #3

I'm kind of the same, though I don't have your social skills. During the day when I'm not at a lecture I sit in my room and know that I'm pathetic for doing so, but I've no idea what to do. The thought of just going to the SU bar or wherever on my own, and then somehow socialising with friends that have already formed a group, sounds impossible.

Reply 12

Figaro123

Thanks to all those *who posted helpful replies*, I will try a few of your suggestions and see how it goes.

edit: Bugger, so much for anonimity :wink:

Onset of depression (?)

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