Dont like being in groups!

I dont know if i have put this in the right place. Well i feel really uncomfatable when in large groups of people in any situation. Just started uni and i really cannot take part in group disscussion i dont know what wrong we me i go quiet, im on edge, my heart starts to beat especially when you have to tell everyone about yourself. Its really starting to annoy me :mad:

i dont really go out like to clubs etc.because im scared/ uncomfatable to be around loads of people im o.k what can i do?
Thanks

Reply 1

LadyEnglish

2

I'm the same. Maybe you just prefer like me the sanctuary and comfort of your own mind. I don't distance myself from people but my social life is somewhat scarce but it really doesn't bother me. I'm alright in groups, I stay quiet but answer people when they converse with me :p:

It's not a bad thing if you're quiet, but try not to distance yourself too much, try and give yourself confidence and pluck up the courage to talk to someone else who perhaps themselves is quite quiet. It may also be the fact that it's the start of uni and you have been plunged into a whole new group of people. How did you cope in college?! If you went to your sixth form then it's understandable how you feel. Anyone would feel pressured in a new place and new people so maybe you just need time to adjust :smile:

Good luck with everything xxx

Reply 2

Zafda

8

errm.
i'm kinda different to you; i can easily hang around with a big group of people or just with one person.
its a matter of not giving a toss what they may think. im sure they won't wanna dig out your most embarrasing moments out of you, they're probably just trying to be friendly.
try going out with just one friend who doesn't know anyone aswell, and you can both socialise together but expand if that makes sense..?

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

OP

I was the same at college but cause i had the same people in my class it did not matter but at uni the people change from class to class so i want to get more involved. My social life is **** because of my lack of wanting to go outand be round loads of people. I get worried that people will judge me or think what i say is stupid. Im fine chatting to people one to one but when it comes to being in a group i just shut down.

Reply 4

*starry_eyed_*

14

I'm the same. Hence why I'm sat on here tonight.

Reply 5

Overmars

17

Easier said than done, but get some confidence. The only way you'll feel more comfortable in those situations, is by being in them more often. Some people are shy - which is obviously not a bad thing, but if you want to change, you definitely can.

Reply 6

CJ

TSR Group Staff

21

i'm kind of the same, and the only thing that i can say is to go and join a few societies, there there will be people with the same interests of you and you get to know them a little better than people you only see now and again.

Trust me, they try to get you integrated as much as possible are there to socialise and share the same interests

Reply 7

ImperceptibleNinja

13

I have nothing to contribute to this thread, but I feel that I belong here. Personally, not liking big groups, I prefer to socialise in [very] small groups of, at the most, about 4. I guess the thing to do it make the most of that.

Reply 8

LadyEnglish

2

Anonymous

I was the same at college but cause i had the same people in my class it did not matter but at uni the people change from class to class so i want to get more involved. My social life is **** because of my lack of wanting to go outand be round loads of people. I get worried that people will judge me or think what i say is stupid. Im fine chatting to people one to one but when it comes to being in a group i just shut down.

Are you me? Tis quite scary how you are describing how I feel about socialising :p:

I've gotten used to it though. At Uni though it should be easier, you'll obv be good friends with your flat mates and gradually will make one to one friends in your lectures. Don't worry about having a big network of friends if you're shy and who cares if you don't go out partying etc. If you don't like it it shouldn't bother you :smile:

xxx

Reply 9

Anonymous #1

OP

Yeah i was thinking about this but i dont live on campus so its hard to get home at night from the societies.

Reply 10

LadyEnglish

2

Anonymous

Yeah i was thinking about this but i dont live on campus so its hard to get home at night from the societies.

Ooh well living off campus is always going to pose somewhat of a problem. But like I said If you can make some good one to one friends in your lectures you should be fine :smile:

I'm assuming you still have friends from college so it's all good :biggrin:

Reply 11

Anonymous #1

OP

LadyEnglish

Are you me? Tis quite scary how you are describing how I feel about socialising :p:

I've gotten used to it though. At Uni though it should be easier, you'll obv be good friends with your flat mates and gradually will make one to one friends in your lectures. Don't worry about having a big network of friends if you're shy and who cares if you don't go out partying etc. If you don't like it it shouldn't bother you :smile:

xxx

Umm i dont think im you :smile:

Yeah i don't like partying but i like doing other things like cinema etc but it seems like mostly everyone at uni just likes going to clubs & bars getting drunk etc. There like oh what are you doing this weekend? when you say not sure or anything that does not include going to clubs or what not, they look at you with disapprovement and like your an alien lol o.k that a strange desception but you know what i mean.

Reply 12

CJ

TSR Group Staff

21

Anonymous

Yeah i was thinking about this but i dont live on campus so its hard to get home at night from the societies.

not all soc's are in the evening, just have to ask i suppose

Reply 13

Sanity Panda

I don't feel comfortable in large groups too. But thats because I'm introverted by nature.

I don't mind sitting by listening, but I find I usually can't chat to a big group. One on One is more my thing.

Reply 14

LadyEnglish

2

Anonymous

Umm i dont think im you :smile:

Yeah i don't like partying but i like doing other things like cinema etc but it seems like mostly everyone at uni just likes going to clubs & bars getting drunk etc. There like oh what are you doing this weekend? when you say not sure or anything that does not include going to clubs or what not, they look at you with disapprovement and like your an alien lol o.k that a strange desception but you know what i mean.

Maybe you're hanging out with the wrong people...look for more quiet or pensieve people who won't care that all you're doing at the weekend is reading a book :biggrin:

x

Reply 15

Rainbow_Chick

1

true
Opps there went the anoynomous posting.

Reply 16

OC_girl

I don't know if i can communicate this well, but here's how i have over come my fear of talking out in groups of people and shyness.

I care a lot about people's feelings (as many introverted people do) and i began to consider my own feelings in the same way that i consider other people's. I tell myself that i have the right to speak and have people listen to me. I have the right to communicate with other people etc etc.

i dont know if that makes any sense but it works for me. :smile:

Reply 17

LadyEnglish

2

Rainbow_Chick

true
Opps there went the anoynomous posting.