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Am I insanely jealous or just going mad

Well,my boyfriend has plenty of female friends, whom he sees quite often. The problem is, I hate the fact that he spends so much time with them, yet he doesn't see it as a problem and thinks I'm too jealous.

Just a couple of days ago he spent a whole day with one of his close friends (whom he used to have a huge crush on) including things like going to the park,for dinner,out walking etc. Just the 2 of them, alone all the day. I think I'm justified in being jealous and I think it's wrong for him to do this, yet he's making me feel like I'm being very silly by having these thoughts.

Just wondering if other girls would get jealous if their boyfriend behaved this way. Guys opinions also very much welcome,do you think I'm just unreasonably jealous or are my feelings justified. I just don't know what to do,this is a huge problem in our relationship at the moment and it's driving us apart.

Reply 1

Ash McD

Does he make you feel secure? When you bring this up does he just brush it off as "oh stop being so jealous?".

It's not your fault you feel jealous, a whole lot of people are in a similar situation, it helps a whole lot if you can bring it up with your partner if you're ever feeling a bit insecure and they can re-assure you and make it all better.

But I guess if they just snap and say stop being so jealous, there's not really much else you can do!

It's not fair to stop him speaking to his friends, you either trust him or you don't, but everyone who loves someone goes through those "urgh why do they love me, they're going to go off with someone else, they're doing it right now!" periods, you just need to be able to talk to each other about it, try speaking to him about it without getting worked up.

Just explain that you feel a bit jealous, yes, but you know he loves you and would just like a bit of assurance.

Reply 2

username47781

I think you just gotta get him to reassure you, remember hes got with you because he likes you, obviously you have a right to be a bit worried of what he gets up to, but at the same time he has got to have a social life.

Reply 3

Chumbaniya

Jealousy implies a lack of trust, and a lack of trust isn't exactly a good basis for a relationship, is it?

Reply 4

unhalfbricking

To be honest I think I'd have been jealous... Though from an outsiders point of view, it could, of course, been completely innocent.

Reply 5

shavenwookiee

The only thing you can do is SUCK IT UP.

Anything else would shift more relationship-power onto him, and he'd feel more free to do this kind of stuff.

In the end, forbidden tresures are so much more desireable....

My girlfriends just gone off to uni... tis killing me, but you've gotta surpress the emotions! SURPRESS THEM!!!!!!

Reply 6

Anonymous #2

My boyfriend has this one girl friend that hes been close to throughout school and it was through her tati met him. I felt jelous because he kept giving her hugs and for some reason ifelt jealous. (gotten over it now though). He has now gone off to a college a bit far out and only get to see him at weekends. Its realy hard but i trust him becuase i was open about it and he couldtell i was jealous before. If you are not open then you can't talk about it.

Reply 7

WokSz

I wish my gf was jealous like that.

Reply 8

imageofreality

Chumbaniya

Jealousy implies a lack of trust, and a lack of trust isn't exactly a good basis for a relationship, is it?

i wouldn't say that, i think its very hard to be completely free of jealousy in any relationship even if you do trust them.

Reply 9

username47781

Too much jealousy and possessiveness will ruin any relationship.

Reply 10

hldevil

i would feel jealous in that situation however i am an extreamly jealous person and find it hard to trust my bf completely through no fault of his own.