I don't understand him

Been with my boyfriend for nearly 10 months everything was going great until he said about breaking up due to him wanting to concentrate on his career which I've always supported we managed to sort it out because we do love each other but now it seems he's distancing himself from me when we do talk it's like I'm his friend then he turned round a few days ago and said lets not put a label on it I really don't know what he is thinking I love him so much and he says he loves me but I don't understand then why he's doing that :/

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Reply 1

az08

You need to sit down and talk to him, tell him what you want from the relationship and find out what he wants then move forward from that.

Reply 2

hmainpolly

Honestly, relationships are a pain.

I experienced something rather similar, guy was all lovey dovey then literally changed his attitude overnight to becoming totally cold and distant. Claimed he needed to focus on his job. It's probably not what you want to hear, but it's probably an excuse. If he really loved you, he'd try work things out and not pull such a rubbish reason out the bag.

Honestly, you're better off finding someone else more worth your time, who, if they can't prioritise their relationship, at least be able to balance work and personal life. Cos pulling that one on you after an 'I love you' is really unfair. Nobody wants to know when other people tell you you should move on and you can do better, but when you see that yourself, there'll be a more positive outlook.

Just my take on things

Reply 3

ConnorHamilton

Original post by hmainpolly

Honestly, relationships are a pain.

Honestly, you're better off finding someone else more worth your time, who, if they can't prioritise their relationship, at least be able to balance work and personal life. Cos pulling that one on you after an 'I love you' is really unfair. Nobody wants to know when other people tell you you should move on and you can do better, but when you see that yourself, there'll be a more positive outlook.

Reply 4

darkred

maybe he broke up with you because you dont know what fullstops are??

Reply 5

digitalfever

Eh, he's pulling the slow fade...

Reply 6

Kaiju

probably doesnt like you as much as you like him and he's trying to initiate breakup

soz but distancing and being finnicky with small things are two massive warning signs

Reply 7

Enoxial

Original post by Nicola_emma

Give him some space. (From a kinda career oriented guy)

Reply 8

Enoxial

Original post by darkred

maybe he broke up with you because you dont know what fullstops are??

Or paragraphs :laugh:

Reply 9

Nicola_emma

I'm seeing him this weekend so will talk then and thanks to the ppl who commented to the others who seem obsessed with my writing style I do have special needs so I'm not very good at writing and punctuation .

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Reply 10

Petapol

One thing whad you should do is: Show him you want to concentrate for your career too, for some time (month e.g.). He has to understand that you working a lot and don´t have time for him, so he has to understand you are better, you are working without saying that you have no time :smile:

Reply 11

anikalarson

Unless the guy is a quantum physicist on the verge of establishing the mechanics of cold fusion or some other discovery for the betterment of humanity, there is no excuse for pushing anybody out for the sake of their 'career' - which in most cases is something along the lines of sales or financial services and in 90% of cases it deals with selling virtual clouds and speculative imagination. Most jobs/careers are completely meaningless in the grand scheme of things and it's sad how majority of people fail to see the true value and importance of things in life (i.e. there has to be a balance between work and personal life... and in the end, no job is going to hug them at night).

Reply 12

Nicola_emma

He's wanting to go into the raf and he does tend to overthink a lot so do I but I told him this can work we do work together we have done for nearly 10 months ,even though we do live apart and are about a 2 hour drive from each other but I'm hoping that he realises that I will be there to support him and be there for him and love him :smile:

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