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Feel So Lonely but Im So Fortunate?
Ok my porblem is I need that special person in my life.
My whole life I was fortunate to have everything I mainly wanted. I was spoilt as a child and was bought what I required and was taken on holidays every year. As I was and became the only child, every 1 spoilt me.
As I grew older and because of certain circumstances I grew distant from my mother, who was until the age of 14 like my best friend.
I lived a quite happy life althought I went through a stage of my life where I was bullied and dealt with some loss.
I was always able to bottle things up and rely on my self to carry on and things like football, friends and computer games kept me active.
2 years back I finally fell for a girl and go into a relationship. Through college I was close to a female but I had a family issue when we was getting closer to the dating stage and I became distant and when the issue was over I didnt bother no more.
Girls in my life were just friends and I didnt really care or think about having relationships.
So yeah 2 years back I fell for a girl and I started to date her. First 6 months was fine, I was the same person. I dealt with helping my g/f through family issues and her own self made issues which I was happy in doing. We grew quite close and I don't know how or why but I fell in love with her.
On the 6 month mark I went through a phase where I finally opened up to some one, and turned out to be her. I've never once relied on any one and this time I did it felt wonderful. I thought I had found my soul mate and I was going to spend the rest of my life with her. Although looking back now it seems crazy, at the time I didnt see our relationship had more problem solving then happiness and joke sharing.
Anyway 6 months later she shattered my dreams as her family wouldnt allow her to marry me and because of that she decided to break it off with me.
I was hurt majorly through the first 3-4 months and tried to gain her back. Then after 6 months I met this girl from up north. We kept in contact for 2 weeks or so over the phone (everyday) then we decided to meet up. She came over and we stayed together for 4 nights where we got very close.
Long story short 2 months we slept few times together and she helped me forget my x, now she turns out to be problematic as well and she has ended it and I aint letting her go.
I just feel insecure without that special person and I know I can do so much better but when im bored I just feel I need her. I have so many female friends and a very good social life but its just this issue which makes me feel miserable at times. Its like she treats me like **** but I treat her with even more respect hoping she turns around and accepts me back. It doesnt happen for a while so I confront her, and she just tells me I told u it cant happen. If I dont mention anything and act normal she will allow me to say things like im still going to look after u as my gal and stuff.
Theres other girls who want to go out with me and I so no it, but theres no spark with them and I aint attracted to them. I don't know how to handle my messed up self no more. I tried backing off but I always end up going back.
My whole life I was fortunate to have everything I mainly wanted. I was spoilt as a child and was bought what I required and was taken on holidays every year. As I was and became the only child, every 1 spoilt me.
As I grew older and because of certain circumstances I grew distant from my mother, who was until the age of 14 like my best friend.
I lived a quite happy life althought I went through a stage of my life where I was bullied and dealt with some loss.
I was always able to bottle things up and rely on my self to carry on and things like football, friends and computer games kept me active.
2 years back I finally fell for a girl and go into a relationship. Through college I was close to a female but I had a family issue when we was getting closer to the dating stage and I became distant and when the issue was over I didnt bother no more.
Girls in my life were just friends and I didnt really care or think about having relationships.
So yeah 2 years back I fell for a girl and I started to date her. First 6 months was fine, I was the same person. I dealt with helping my g/f through family issues and her own self made issues which I was happy in doing. We grew quite close and I don't know how or why but I fell in love with her.
On the 6 month mark I went through a phase where I finally opened up to some one, and turned out to be her. I've never once relied on any one and this time I did it felt wonderful. I thought I had found my soul mate and I was going to spend the rest of my life with her. Although looking back now it seems crazy, at the time I didnt see our relationship had more problem solving then happiness and joke sharing.
Anyway 6 months later she shattered my dreams as her family wouldnt allow her to marry me and because of that she decided to break it off with me.
I was hurt majorly through the first 3-4 months and tried to gain her back. Then after 6 months I met this girl from up north. We kept in contact for 2 weeks or so over the phone (everyday) then we decided to meet up. She came over and we stayed together for 4 nights where we got very close.
Long story short 2 months we slept few times together and she helped me forget my x, now she turns out to be problematic as well and she has ended it and I aint letting her go.
I just feel insecure without that special person and I know I can do so much better but when im bored I just feel I need her. I have so many female friends and a very good social life but its just this issue which makes me feel miserable at times. Its like she treats me like **** but I treat her with even more respect hoping she turns around and accepts me back. It doesnt happen for a while so I confront her, and she just tells me I told u it cant happen. If I dont mention anything and act normal she will allow me to say things like im still going to look after u as my gal and stuff.
Theres other girls who want to go out with me and I so no it, but theres no spark with them and I aint attracted to them. I don't know how to handle my messed up self no more. I tried backing off but I always end up going back.
Reply 1
There are millions of people out there. There will be one you like. Change your attitude and don't dwell on the past and you might notice one.
Don't be brainwashed my ideals and fairytales either. There is more than one soul mate and you can love more than one person. Sometimes you just wanna get your end away. There's a lot in between love and happiness.
Don't be brainwashed my ideals and fairytales either. There is more than one soul mate and you can love more than one person. Sometimes you just wanna get your end away. There's a lot in between love and happiness.
Reply 3
Try going out and meeting people?
What do you exactly want help with? Was this a personal add?
What do you exactly want help with? Was this a personal add?
Reply 4
doll-heart
Try going out and meeting people?
What do you exactly want help with? Was this a personal add?
What do you exactly want help with? Was this a personal add?
Im too clingy and too insecure. I've found sum 1 whos so good but again shes problematic and family has chosen sum 1 else for her.
I want to delete her from my life and carry on.
Reply 5
message was way too long.
good luck, hope the advice helps.
x
good luck, hope the advice helps.
x
It sounds like you've got a classic over-bearing mother complex. Being best friends with your mother at 14 has probably given you a skewed view of what a girlfriend should be like (ie like a copy of your mum) and when they don't measure up you see them as 'problematic'. If you're too clingy and insecure, don't be. Just take it easy with your next relationship.
Reply 7
Clearly being clingy is your problem then. You need to try and have more self-confidence, everyone needs their own space and clingyness can drive people away from you. You can't force people to like you though.
Reply 8
3232
It sounds like you've got a classic over-bearing mother complex. Being best friends with your mother at 14 has probably given you a skewed view of what a girlfriend should be like (ie like a copy of your mum) and when they don't measure up you see them as 'problematic'. If you're too clingy and insecure, don't be. Just take it easy with your next relationship.
Thing is they were/are problematic.
1st X insecure about her future, had fights with her family, was on tablets etc.
Last x/current person in my life - Family wants her to be egaged to another guy who shes known and in contact with for the past 3 years. She has web cam chats with him till this day. At the same time she likes and hangs around with this other guy who she admits she has a soft spot for. She talks to all 3 of us but with me admits we have no future but then when she came london we ended up snogging but next day she regreted it again.
Anonymous
Last x/current person in my life - Family wants her to be egaged to another guy who shes known and in contact with for the past 3 years. She has web cam chats with him till this day. At the same time she likes and hangs around with this other guy who she admits she has a soft spot for. She talks to all 3 of us but with me admits we have no future but then when she came london we ended up snogging but next day she regreted it again.
And you 'aint letting this girl go' for what reason exactly? She sounds a nightmare.
Reply 10
Anonymous
Thing is they were/are problematic.
1st X insecure about her future, had fights with her family, was on tablets etc.
1st X insecure about her future, had fights with her family, was on tablets etc.
How is that problematic? Sounds like a normal ****ed up family life to me. And they're all ****ed up. You're best friends with your mum - go and ask any 14-year-old if that's ****ed up or not and you know what they'll say. I'm the exact opposite, there are rarely times when I can stand my parents, and that's ****ed up. The fact that she fights with her family is nothing strange, the fact that she's insecure about her future is fairly normal too since I know very few people who have a clue what's going on in their life, and the fact that she's on tablets means she's at least getting help for whatever's wrong in her life, which is more than can be said for most people.
Don't be so ****ing judgemental.
Reply 11
**** it, can i ****ing join in, **** **** ****
Reply 12
JimmyJ
**** it, can i ****ing join in, **** **** ****
I used the phrase "****ed up" four times, not because I'm some sort of neanderthal, but for literary effect. Then I told him not to be ****ing judgemental because people like that make me angry.
Please shut up.
Reply 13
There's a poem called 'They f**k you up' or something.
Reply 15
Sam Beckett
There's a poem called 'They f**k you up' or something.
They **** you up, your mum and dad, they may not mean to, but they do; they fill you with the faults they had, and add some extra just for you.
And so on.
Related discussions
- Loneliness
- I think i feel lonely
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- Rant - Any religious Muslims applying to uni this year just not feeling it?
- lonley
- 🤷🏽*♀️
- Someone to talk to
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- Lonely in Durham Uni
- What do when you really dislike your friends but have no one else
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