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Girl.
WARNING this is EXTREMELY LONG.
I dunno why I'm asking this on internet (yeah sad i know...) but anyway here's the story (and i hope the person involved doesn't read this, i'm ******ed anyway so what can i lose? make a fool of myself again?):
i met a girl a while back in the summer at some sort of group dinner thing and asked for her email. we then chatted on msn and i asked whether she'd be online in the evening as i told her my parents were awake just after 6pm... then she replied that 'whether i had something special to say'... then i asked her out on a date (yep - bloody silly idea. oh well.) and she said she's only known me for a day but she wouldnt mind going for a drink.
(doesn't going for coffee count as going on a date? confused.)
later i apologised for ruining everything an got a reply saying 'lets just be friends for now. (yep, now officially ****ed.)
a week later we exchanged email twice but she didn't reply to my last one (is she ignoring me??)
... so i left it at that and yesterday (two weeks after the email thing) i sent me an offline message on msn but got no reply. well she's probably sorting herself out for starting university so doesnt have time to reply as it's freshers week. (now have i just ruined everything as she's not talking to me? or that she thinks I am a loser <-- i'm alright normally but in this situation, yes, I'm stupid). I don't want to send another message because she'll probably think i'm stalking and obssessed with her.. (obsessed is probably not the right word but i like her so much that I am almost, almost obssessed with her)
i dunno how to put this but i've only liked a girl before and she's the second... have i scared her away by asking her on a date after knowing her for a day? i just can't get her out of my mind and i rarely like a girl this deeply.. all i want is a chance for her to know me, if she doesn't like it it's fine... a chance is all i want. and she's the second person (other than my parents lol) that I really want to get close to and i just want to take care of her.
a few nights following the first dinner (probably the last one by the sound of it) i couldn't sleep and couldnt stop thinking about her and i had quite serious abdominal pain (got that checked out by a doc and had a white liquid thing test to assess my intestines, the doc said it's spasm of the gut due to stress probably).... i mean, what can I do? the first time i ask (the first) girl out i got rejected and ruined a few years of friendship, so i thought i would try asking now (with this second girl) before things get too deep..... for the past month i can't get her out of my head and i miss her so much and physically my heart hurts because she's not around me.
I'm always in a lose-lose situation. Murphy's law seems to operate smoothly in my life. i socialise with people all right but I have no idea how to deal with this.... i don't want to seem to be stalking... but what should I do?
I dunno why I'm asking this on internet (yeah sad i know...) but anyway here's the story (and i hope the person involved doesn't read this, i'm ******ed anyway so what can i lose? make a fool of myself again?):
i met a girl a while back in the summer at some sort of group dinner thing and asked for her email. we then chatted on msn and i asked whether she'd be online in the evening as i told her my parents were awake just after 6pm... then she replied that 'whether i had something special to say'... then i asked her out on a date (yep - bloody silly idea. oh well.) and she said she's only known me for a day but she wouldnt mind going for a drink.
(doesn't going for coffee count as going on a date? confused.)
later i apologised for ruining everything an got a reply saying 'lets just be friends for now. (yep, now officially ****ed.)
a week later we exchanged email twice but she didn't reply to my last one (is she ignoring me??)
... so i left it at that and yesterday (two weeks after the email thing) i sent me an offline message on msn but got no reply. well she's probably sorting herself out for starting university so doesnt have time to reply as it's freshers week. (now have i just ruined everything as she's not talking to me? or that she thinks I am a loser <-- i'm alright normally but in this situation, yes, I'm stupid). I don't want to send another message because she'll probably think i'm stalking and obssessed with her.. (obsessed is probably not the right word but i like her so much that I am almost, almost obssessed with her)
i dunno how to put this but i've only liked a girl before and she's the second... have i scared her away by asking her on a date after knowing her for a day? i just can't get her out of my mind and i rarely like a girl this deeply.. all i want is a chance for her to know me, if she doesn't like it it's fine... a chance is all i want. and she's the second person (other than my parents lol) that I really want to get close to and i just want to take care of her.
a few nights following the first dinner (probably the last one by the sound of it) i couldn't sleep and couldnt stop thinking about her and i had quite serious abdominal pain (got that checked out by a doc and had a white liquid thing test to assess my intestines, the doc said it's spasm of the gut due to stress probably).... i mean, what can I do? the first time i ask (the first) girl out i got rejected and ruined a few years of friendship, so i thought i would try asking now (with this second girl) before things get too deep..... for the past month i can't get her out of my head and i miss her so much and physically my heart hurts because she's not around me.
I'm always in a lose-lose situation. Murphy's law seems to operate smoothly in my life. i socialise with people all right but I have no idea how to deal with this.... i don't want to seem to be stalking... but what should I do?
Scroll to see replies
Reply 1
p.s. i can't really get on with my life because she's always in my head...
Reply 3
It seems like you may be rushing into this. You say you met her during the summer, have you spent much time actually with her in person? Just because this girl said no the first time doesn't mean no forever, just give it time and get to know each other better. Let her see yhou're a good friend, first. 
Reply 6
oh just for completion, in when i asked her out on email i did tell her i really liked her, miss her so much and that the only person i liked before was a few years ago.. that i can't get to sleep + my heart was hurting.... now i hate myself for it. but i only asked her because she said 'whether i had anything special' so i got the (wrong?) idea that she liked me too. now thinking back i was so bloody dumb.
well this is the complete story.
well this is the complete story.
Reply 8
lilac!!
okay firstly what happened on ur date that was soo bad that she said lets be friends?
i'm sorry if i didnt come across it
i'm sorry if i didnt come across it
well i asked her whether she would go on a date but she said no but wouldn't mind going for a drink. no, I didn't go for a drink either... (maybe she didn't really mean she wanted to go for a drink?)
throughout my life i've been optimistic - and got where i wanted to be in life (i.e. top uni, on a professional course).... but now? who am i to talk.
Reply 9
*starry_eyed_*
It seems like you may be rushing into this. You say you met her during the summer, have you spent much time actually with her in person? Just because this girl said no the first time doesn't mean no forever, just give it time and get to know each other better. Let her see yhou're a good friend, first.
but now i think i've blown it - i doubt i'll have a chance to even get to know her... she probably thinks i'm a really sad person now as she knows i've never had a girlfriend.....
Reply 10
Sounds like you've scared her off.
Reply 11
BlackHawk
You're coming across as a bit desperate to be honest. At least that's the way it sounds from your post. You also sound like you're a bit obsessed with the idea of her, rather than her. You scared her off from the sounds of things.
well i think i am desperate, in that I really want to know her and get close to her, but not desperate in the sense that I am not really desperate to get a girlfriend...
well what can i do to rectify the problem!?
Reply 12
lilac!!
i agree ur coming on soo fast, i mean u onlt met her a few days ago or something, look calm down and take things slow, okay
firstly if she doesnt reply then maybe snd her a massage in about 2/3 weeks just asking how she is as u havnt heard from her in a long time
firstly if she doesnt reply then maybe snd her a massage in about 2/3 weeks just asking how she is as u havnt heard from her in a long time
yeah - well i knew her for a day in person, then chatted by msn/email for a few days.. but now it's about a month since i've known her.
Right, so you asked her out on a date and she said she'd go for a drink with you, which you took as rejection? Are you mental? You then apologised for asking her and were surprised when she said 'lets just be friends'. Are you allowed to have contact with other people without your 'helper' there with you?
Anonymous
yeah - well i knew her for a day in person, then chatted by msn/email for a few days.. but now it's about a month since i've known her.
okay now a month is good
look just be youself around her (not that ur not but im just saying)
if she really likes u she would get into contact with you, not that im saying stop eveything, no way! but chill a bit about 2 weeks, she mails u fine coolyoo if she doesnt then mail her
i hope it helped
Reply 15
3232
Right, so you asked her out on a date and she said she'd go for a drink with you, which you took as rejection? Are you mental?
sorry for confusion.
i asked her out on a date but she said to me that she had only known me for a day... so a few mins later i asked if she would like to go out for a drink...
3232
You then apologised for asking her and were surprised when she said 'lets just be friends'. Are you allowed to have contact with other people without your 'helper' there with you?
You then apologised for asking her and were surprised when she said 'lets just be friends'. Are you allowed to have contact with other people without your 'helper' there with you?
well i apologised because i thought i put her in a difficult situation...
what's wrong with being suprised about the 'lets just be friends ' thing?
i talk to other poeple all right - i don't need help. but on this occasion i do, before i mess anything more up.
Reply 17
lilac!!
okay now a month is good
look just be youself around her (not that ur not but im just saying)
if she really likes u she would get into contact with you, not that im saying stop eveything, no way! but chill a bit about 2 weeks, she mails u fine coolyoo if she doesnt then mail her
i hope it helped
look just be youself around her (not that ur not but im just saying)
if she really likes u she would get into contact with you, not that im saying stop eveything, no way! but chill a bit about 2 weeks, she mails u fine coolyoo if she doesnt then mail her
i hope it helped
the problem is she goes to a different college (all girl's) than i do, and that i am a year older doing something different to her (well not too different.) (also i was in a different country when i met her.. so it's complicated.)
yeah unfortunately i don't even have the chance to 'be around her' since i'm not doing her subject.
the only way i can see her is to wait outside her college, which I think, is a bad idea because i think she's scared of me enough as it is.
Reply 18
3232
It sounds like you pestered her too much after asking her out for a drink, should have just arranged a time/place and left it at that. Apologising for ruining 'everything' probably scared her off.
yeah i know i ****ed up
.... and as i said in the first post tried to arrange going out for a drink but haven't got a reply yetRelated discussions
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