Gone to same Uni as Boyfriend- Problems.

Hi Guys,

I've been with my boyfriend for nearly 4 years now, and we decided to go to the same Uni as we've been used to seeing other everyday for 4 years, so thought we'd be better off together (we do both like the Uni btw, it wasn't based purely on doing what the other was doing!)

Anyway, we both got into different halls which is good as we've made different friends. But it seems like he doesn't care about me or want to see me anymore. Everytime he says he'll come over he never does- so i'm left waiting for him looking like an idiot. He used to be so caring and we used to spend all our time together- he is- or was (??) my bestfriend. It's just everything's changed so much, and it seems like I care a hell of a lot more about this relationship now than he does.

When we speak on the phone he normally just says " oh i have to go" and puts the phone down after a while.

I was ment to stay at his last night but he got so drunk he just sprawled out across the bed so i was left alone waiting for a bus for an hour in the rain to get home. He has appologised about this this morning, but not as much as he would have done a few months ago.

I just don't know what to do. I don't know whether everythings up in the air at the moment as it's still the first 2 weeks of Uni? It's just such a change to what it used to be like.

I have told him this but as I said he seems to just put the phone down and have better things to do.

Any suggestions of what to do? I'm lost :frown:

Thank you

Reply 1

Anonymous #1

Doesn't sound like he's treating you very well, but maybe he's just trying to settle in and make friends and things will calm down later in the term. One thing I will say, please DON'T sit around waiting for him or expect to spend all your time with him at the expense of creating your own niche at uni. That's exactly what I've done for the past 2 years of uni, and now I'm in a right state; boyfriend is gone and I've got no friends to turn to because I made him the centre of my world. Please don't make the same mistake.

Reply 2

rosetinted

Well it sounds like he is busy settling in and getting to know people. Maybe you should dive into the whole uni experience too. You definitely need to stop sitting around waiting for him, because you are missing out on the chance to make friends. The only reason you're thinking about it so much is because you aren't keeping yourself occupied.

Going to uni is the start of some big changes in both of your lives. Give him space and in a few weeks if he isn't calling or arranging to do stuff with you then have a rethink of the relationship.