Am I being phased out?

Okay, I've just gotten back for my second year of Uni - well, I've been back for about a week and a half, but everyone else has been back for 3 weeks; I was delayed by a mass of random things which I had to sort out - and I've been attempting to catch up with some of my mates from halls last year, through various methods - phone, e-mail, Facebook etc.

Anyways; I started it basically as soon as I got back, and so far I've had...no replies.

Now, this probably wouldn't worry me normally; it is the start of the year after all, and they're probably all getting settled into their new flats - even though I have found time to attempt to catch up, I can hardly expect them to settle in as quickly as I have, can I? But then on Friday, when I was walking back from lectures, I spotted one of my mates across the street! I called out her name and waved, and she actually looked right at me, then vanished into a large bookshop. I tried going in to the shop - in case she hadn't recognised me - and she had disappeared!

I then walked right past a small group of my mates yesterday - I didn't recognise them initially - as you don't when you haven't seen someone for six months - but it clicked about five steps later. So I turn around, and within those five steps the had again disappeared into a shop! I had no idea which one - my back was turned, obviously - so I didn't try to follow, figuring maybe that I had them recognised wrong.

And I've been trying to phone people all of this weekend, and I'm getting answer-machines all the time; they're not wrong numbers, they're just not picking up!

So...am I getting phased out (as Friends put it...I honestly couldn't think of a better phrase)? It's frustrating, because I find it really difficult to make friends - I'm a massive introvert - and I thought I had made a decent bunch that I could spend time with throughout my Uni career. So if they're phasing me out, then all the effort I put into making them my friends is kinda gone to waste.

Thoughts! Opinions! Ego-boosts! Please!! :redface:

Reply 20

Ywiss

15

Hmm...curious...and very upsetting for you :frown:

You don't think...that your friends could be slightly annoyed if you didn't try to contact them at all throughout the summer? I don't know if you did or not - but it doesn't sound to me as if you did. Maybe they were all busy contacting each other, meeting up etc, and thought that if you couldn't be bothered to make the effort, they couldn't be bothered either.

Maybe their assumptions that you can't be bothered were reinforced when you didn't recognise your group of friends straightaway - again, not your fault, but they might have thought that you are ignoring them, rather than the other way round, perhaps?

The fact that you weren't around for the beginning of term, once again, not your fault, might have made them think that you don't want to be around them any more.

Then they're getting mixed messages when you phone them up and write emails to them and just think you're too complicated to understand.

Whatever the reasons, misunderstandings etc, it's not very nice for you, I can see that. Where are you staying now? Why aren't you sharing a house with them - are you still in halls? Wherever you're staying, there will be people around - try and find some new friends, join some new clubs, etc. Things like this will happen, and you just have to pick yourself up.

Good luck with it!
xxx

Reply 21

Anonymous #1

OP

LadyEnglish

Make new friends :biggrin:

Also, sounds like you are a little high maintenance and unsociable, take a chill pill :cool:

x

*takes*

Sorry; people like Kirk piss me off in these forums - I'm generally a lot less up tight than I am at the moment, but this whole situation has me a little on edge, and him taking the mickey out of me hardly helped.

*is now chilled*

I did keep contact with them over the summer, but it was difficult to say the least - various internet problems, travelling abroad, etc. - and thus a little sporadic.

And I was originally down for sharing with a mate; but that went to pot when we had to pull out of that flat because the rent inexplicably raised and we could no longer afford it. So I had to put together a rapid application for Uni controller flats, and I'm there now, but it's a single flat, so I'm not sharing with anyone!

I've tried making friends with the people around here, but they appear to be the type to go out partying every night, and I'm just not that person, even if I could afford it! And their lecture timetables are at total odds with my own, so basically it boils down to when I'm here, they're not! I know most of their names, and they know mine, but that's pretty much the extent of our relationship development. :frown:

Reply 22

LadyEnglish

2

Anonymous

*takes*

Sorry; people like Kirk piss me off in these forums - I'm generally a lot less up tight than I am at the moment, but this whole situation has me a little on edge, and him taking the mickey out of me hardly helped.

*is now chilled*

I did keep contact with them over the summer, but it was difficult to say the least - various internet problems, travelling abroad, etc. - and thus a little sporadic.

And I was originally down for sharing with a mate; but that went to pot when we had to pull out of that flat because the rent inexplicably raised and we could no longer afford it. So I had to put together a rapid application for Uni controller flats, and I'm there now, but it's a single flat, so I'm not sharing with anyone!

I've tried making friends with the people around here, but they appear to be the type to go out partying every night, and I'm just not that person, even if I could afford it! And their lecture timetables are at total odds with my own, so basically it boils down to when I'm here, they're not! I know most of their names, and they know mine, but that's pretty much the extent of our relationship development. :frown:

People like Kirk do tend to be somewhat usless especially on H&R forums. Perhaps if you are the quiet type you should try mingling with others like yourself, hit the library :biggrin:

Or the people near your flat perhaps...x

Am I being phased out?

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