The Student Room Group

Bullying/Feeling Excluded due to epilepsy

Hey guys,

I am hoping to get something off my chest which has been upsetting me for the past week. Any advice would be really valuable.

I am a art student in London and I have an enhanced enabler due to epilepsy (and other issues not relevant here). Having the enabler has been brilliant and I seem to be getting on really well with the workload etc.

A couple of weeks ago we watched a film in class which was projected onto the wall in a pitch black room. I am photosensitive and the contrast and flickering caused a reaction so I had to leave the room. My enabler suggested that we should tell all the mentors to be aware of this issue so we wrote an e-mail which was well received.

On Monday we had a peer-led session in the study room in which we were meant to be watching a documentary. A mentor introduced the session and as agreed turned off all but one light at the back to stop me having any problems. He left and the student in charge of the session turned off the remaining back light.

My enabler went up to explain the situation quite subtly. And was met with the loud response: "Well to be honest if she has epilepsy she shouldn't be watching anyway."

I left the room and was quite upset by it as I felt that just leaving the light on at the back wouldn't affect them much at all, whilst to me it would be the difference between me being able to watch it or not. We sent another e-mail to the subject head and received no reply.

On tuesday I approached him to ask if he had got the email. He told me that he had little control over what the other students did during the peer-led sessions and said that I should just sit by the door. I tried to explain that the seizure can literally happen in a second and that sitting by the door wasn't an end-all solution. He said he was busy and couldn't finish the conversation.

Yesterday (Wednesday) I went to a second peer-led session which was a group discussion. The same student as before was leading the session. We were all handed out the sheets and she said: "Oh I better check whether the black and white text is ok just in case anyone has a seizure!!" in such a sarcastic tone, and a few people laughed in response.

Later on Wednesday, we sent yet ANOTHER e-mail about how this whole situation was upsetting me and how I felt quite excluded. Again, I received no response and despite attempting to talk to him on two occasions today he would not speak to me and avoided eye contact.

I've decided that I will not attend the peer-led sessions. Although this won't affect my grades, it will mean that I will be missing out on quite an important social aspect of the course.

I don't know what to do about all this and all the extra stress is causing me even more problems. I'm sorry this was long.

Thanks for reading,
Kassy
Reply 1
Obviously the students on your course are being very inconsiderate and immature about the whole situation, however this should not mean that you can't have a social life at uni.

Try joining a society - either a sport or hobby you already enjoy, or one you'd like to give a try. This can help you to find and make new friends at uni, even if they are not on your course.

Secondly, if lecturers/subject head's etc. are not listening to you, try talking to your student union and see if they can help you, or direct you to someone who can.
This is discrimination and you should either talk to a parent/carer, or make a formal complaint to a tutor. You have a right to feel comfortable during class. To be honest I'd make a complaint to OFSTED and see what they have to say, even if you are just seeking advice and guidance on the issue.
(edited 9 years ago)
Reply 3
Your Student Support office would also be a good place to raise this formally with the uni.

Whilst it's not the staff who are bullying you, they are aware of it and have failed to deal with it. That makes them complicit.
Original post by Kasemah
...


I know what your going though here. I have been though it myself. I am disabled as well. I have autism. Its like the whole group form this special club and purposely exclude you for their entertainment.

I'm going to give you some really good advice now which you should follow because there is nothing worse than bullying at college/uni.

While you may be able to distance yourself from the abuse it will still effect you on a Psychological level in the void of your Ego. If you simply do nothing your class mates will chew on the very essence of your soul until you break down & collapse.

1.

Take a mobile phone with you and record what everyone does and says to you. It doesn't matter if its your class mates, a teacher or someone who works for the University. Take these recordings and store them on a external hard drive. After a year of abuse which you most likely are going to get go directly to the Mirror & let them shame the University. There is nothing worse than a media tabloid assault against a certain University.

http://www.mirror.co.uk/sell-your-story/

Once you do this the University will not ignore you and people will think twice about what they say and do to you. You will have the last laugh. Oh and don't worry if the University try and intimidate you with threats. You can then sue them for further discrimination. You may even get your student debt erased. That is a win win situation.

2.

Join a pro-disability society. People who are pro-disability tend to have Socialist & Trade Union views. There are lots of Socialists in London. In fact go and join the facebook DPAC group. They will love to have you. If you do this you will have lots of friends. Us disabled people need to unite.

https://www.facebook.com/groups/DPAC2011/

Please come and share this story.

3.

Don't let the assault on your disability make you reluctant to show you are disabled. Wear it as a badge of honor and say to people look I am disabled and if you don't like it screw you! You can even make your own T-shirt and wear it to show everyone you don't give a monkeys rat arse about their petty prejudice. And then to top it all off stand up for other minorities whether they are of different religions, of different sexual orientation, different race, different class.

............................................................

Thought I'd just include some additional feelings. For most of my life I've always tried to block out what happened to me during my youth. Its a like a bad cloud that always finds its self back to me when I am reminded of my childhood.

I wish I could go back and change a lot of it but the pain and torment has made me the person I am today. A cold and heartless sociopath. While I fight for other people I still am this cold and unloving monster. Its had effects on me which I just can not seem to shake off. Even now the amount of sorrow is enough to make me consider harming myself just to forget thinking about the times I'd rather not describe.

But don't worry I have other ways of staying sane. I'll probably abuse a bottle of whiskey in a bit. The whole bottle.

But this is what I mean. If you don't deal with it now it will effect you for the rest of your life.

You don't want to become like me. I am at best someone who truly does not have a shred of positive emotion left.
(edited 9 years ago)
If you haven't done so already, you need to speak to the disability services at your uni.
Reply 6
Hi all,

thanks for all your very kind responses and suggestions. It's great to know that there are people who listen!

I sent an e-mail to the student union and student advice, and I copied in my lecturers. I got some positive responses and was told that the student/s involved will be spoken to. I will be going to the peer-led session next week so I will know better then whether anything has happened.

Thanks!
Kassy
This is shocking - I can't offer any positive suggestions beyond those already raised, but wanted to add my sympathies and that I hope something is done about it immediately.

Posted from TSR Mobile
Original post by Kasemah
Hi all,

thanks for all your very kind responses and suggestions. It's great to know that there are people who listen!

I sent an e-mail to the student union and student advice, and I copied in my lecturers. I got some positive responses and was told that the student/s involved will be spoken to. I will be going to the peer-led session next week so I will know better then whether anything has happened.

Thanks!
Kassy


You've probably just made it worse. By doing this you will unite the group of students more by them being oppressed. Other students will notice this and view you as an extension of the University power structure. You will get more isolation.

I'd just record them and then rain a parade on them after a few months.
Reply 9
Original post by Kasemah
Hi all,

thanks for all your very kind responses and suggestions. It's great to know that there are people who listen!

I sent an e-mail to the student union and student advice, and I copied in my lecturers. I got some positive responses and was told that the student/s involved will be spoken to. I will be going to the peer-led session next week so I will know better then whether anything has happened.

Thanks!
Kassy


How did this week's session go?

Posted from TSR Mobile
Reply 10
Hi there :smile:


Original post by illegaltobepoor
.

I'd just record them and then rain a parade on them after a few months.


I record all my sessions anyway so I went through and found the recording of it. In the email to student advice I mentioned that I had the recordings if they wanted to verify it but they didn't mention it in their reply to me. I will definitely use the recordings if I ever have to take this higher.

This weeks peer-led session (wednesday) went fine. The people involved didn't say anything to me or about me, but it was obvious they had a problem with me. My enabler put it quite well when she said they have somehow taken offence to the fact I have epilepsy, and that is not my fault and there is nothing I can be expected to do.

An e-mail was circulated about a christmas party, and we are expected to plan it and make it happen. In the email it mentioned specifically no strobe lights due to issues with epilepsy. I expected to get some kind of nasty response from other members of the group but I am glad to say I didn't.

Also, I thought I'd clarify that the people causing the fuss are 3rd year students (I am in 2nd), so I don't know the people very well and I don't have to work with them except in these peer-led sessions which are optional. I think I will carry on going because I don't think running away is going to be a good solution right now, perhaps I'd stop going if this really started to affect me emotionally but right now it seems to have been put under control.

Thanks for everyone's support and advice, it's really helped me work out a clear plan to get this sorted.

Kassy :smile:
Original post by Kasemah
Hi there :smile:




I record all my sessions anyway so I went through and found the recording of it. In the email to student advice I mentioned that I had the recordings if they wanted to verify it but they didn't mention it in their reply to me. I will definitely use the recordings if I ever have to take this higher.

This weeks peer-led session (wednesday) went fine. The people involved didn't say anything to me or about me, but it was obvious they had a problem with me. My enabler put it quite well when she said they have somehow taken offence to the fact I have epilepsy, and that is not my fault and there is nothing I can be expected to do.

An e-mail was circulated about a christmas party, and we are expected to plan it and make it happen. In the email it mentioned specifically no strobe lights due to issues with epilepsy. I expected to get some kind of nasty response from other members of the group but I am glad to say I didn't.

Also, I thought I'd clarify that the people causing the fuss are 3rd year students (I am in 2nd), so I don't know the people very well and I don't have to work with them except in these peer-led sessions which are optional. I think I will carry on going because I don't think running away is going to be a good solution right now, perhaps I'd stop going if this really started to affect me emotionally but right now it seems to have been put under control.

Thanks for everyone's support and advice, it's really helped me work out a clear plan to get this sorted.

Kassy :smile:


Kassy I personally would get your 2nd year out the way and see if the Uni will release your funds so you can do your last year some place else.

This is disability discrimination at its finest. The University and its students are a classic reminder of the formation of the Nazis. You don't just see it there. You see it every where now days. This won't end when you leave University anyway. It will carry on in the work place. Your best heading to Scotland because the Scots still have a moral compass as a society.
Reply 12
Original post by illegaltobepoor
This won't end when you leave University anyway. It will carry on in the work place.

I must take issue with this as an overly damning blanket statement. I developed epilepsy during my first job. I was given every consideration whilst the medics got it under control and wasn't made to feel bad for taking time off for doctor and hospital appointments. I have always declared my epilepsy in job applications and never felt that I was at any disadvantage because of it.

The workplace is actually much more tightly controlled than university when it comes to discrimination. In fact, someone with a disability who can function well in a job is often looked on as an advantage, as they improve a comoany's disability employment stats whilst bringing minimal disadvantage or inconvenience. The only point of contention I ever had, was when an employer asked if I'd kindly register as disabled to increase their stats!

I had a 20+ year career, being a high rate tax payer for the last ten before I started uni. Please don't think that every employer is a blinkered and bigoted organisation. Most these days are very enlightened. Even the English ones!
Reply 13
I agree that I do not believe this sort of treatment is a usual thing.

I have had seizures for about 6 years, but only got an official diagnosis last year. I disclosed the problem with 3 different employers and they all worked with me to find a solution.

I think perhaps the problem was that the students are not teachers and haven't necessarily been made aware of their obligation to make these reasonable adjustments. I think that awareness is important for 'invisible' disabilities such as epilepsy, mental health etc. For example, I think it would be much less likely for someone to take offence at having to install a ramp for a wheelchair user... but they seemed to be completely unwilling to keep one back light on for me.

I hope that in the future I will find the courage to stand up for myself in issues like this.

Kassy :smile:
Reply 14
I think you did the right thing, even though it's been troubling for you. A lack of life experience can be part of such issues and hopefully your colleagues are now more aware. The experience has probably done them good. If they behave like that in the workplace they could end up being the subject of disciplinary action. Better they learn the lesson before they end up in worse trouble.

Sorry you had to go through this though - it doesn't excuse the other students nor the staff who initially failed to deal with the situation properly.

Good luck with the rest of your course.
Original post by Kasemah
Hey guys,

I am hoping to get something off my chest which has been upsetting me for the past week. Any advice would be really valuable.

I am a art student in London and I have an enhanced enabler due to epilepsy (and other issues not relevant here). Having the enabler has been brilliant and I seem to be getting on really well with the workload etc.

A couple of weeks ago we watched a film in class which was projected onto the wall in a pitch black room. I am photosensitive and the contrast and flickering caused a reaction so I had to leave the room. My enabler suggested that we should tell all the mentors to be aware of this issue so we wrote an e-mail which was well received.

On Monday we had a peer-led session in the study room in which we were meant to be watching a documentary. A mentor introduced the session and as agreed turned off all but one light at the back to stop me having any problems. He left and the student in charge of the session turned off the remaining back light.

My enabler went up to explain the situation quite subtly. And was met with the loud response: "Well to be honest if she has epilepsy she shouldn't be watching anyway."

I left the room and was quite upset by it as I felt that just leaving the light on at the back wouldn't affect them much at all, whilst to me it would be the difference between me being able to watch it or not. We sent another e-mail to the subject head and received no reply.

On tuesday I approached him to ask if he had got the email. He told me that he had little control over what the other students did during the peer-led sessions and said that I should just sit by the door. I tried to explain that the seizure can literally happen in a second and that sitting by the door wasn't an end-all solution. He said he was busy and couldn't finish the conversation.

Yesterday (Wednesday) I went to a second peer-led session which was a group discussion. The same student as before was leading the session. We were all handed out the sheets and she said: "Oh I better check whether the black and white text is ok just in case anyone has a seizure!!" in such a sarcastic tone, and a few people laughed in response.

Later on Wednesday, we sent yet ANOTHER e-mail about how this whole situation was upsetting me and how I felt quite excluded. Again, I received no response and despite attempting to talk to him on two occasions today he would not speak to me and avoided eye contact.

I've decided that I will not attend the peer-led sessions. Although this won't affect my grades, it will mean that I will be missing out on quite an important social aspect of the course.

I don't know what to do about all this and all the extra stress is causing me even more problems. I'm sorry this was long.

Thanks for reading,
Kassy

What a *****!! I’m feeling angry for you on your behalf. I’ve had this sort of thing happen to me too many times to count and it never stops hurting does it? I think that people who are blessed enough not to have epilepsy just don’t realise how lucky they are and that cruel comments like that can hurt so bad. Sending love and good thoughts.

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